Amaka: Our wedding is in 3 months time and I'm so excited.
Chuka: I know right. I'm happy you're excited.
Amaka: Ch-Chuka, why are you sounding like this? Aren't you excited as well? Or shouldn't you be excited?
Chuka: Hmmmm I am but I'm just thinking about a lot of things...
Amaka: A lot of things? Like what? Are you fine? Hope all is well.
Chuka: All is well but Babe don't you think it's important that we check somethings before we actually decide to go ahead with this marriage.
Amaka: Ha! what do you mean check somethings? Check what and what? Also why are you bringing this up now? We've picked a date for the wedding and we've registered for pre-marital classes so what exactly are you talking about?
Chuka: So a friend of mine was talking to me about how difficult it was for him to cope with his wife when they got married especially because she was in-experienced sexually... He adviced that I do not make the same mistake that he made and this has been on my mind for some time. I won't tell you his name cos I don't want you to judge him.
Amaka: I appreciate you opening up to me about this. To be honest I understand what your friend means but my question is, if he had tried out his wife before getting married, would there have been some level of trust between them? Also, if he tried her out before marriage and realised that she was 'in-experienced', won't he have dumped her? He would have dumped her and gone in search for an 'experienced' person and in the course of this search maybe he would have slept with numerous people. I've also heard a lot about this sexual compatibility thing before marriage and it really baffles me. Let's call a spade, a spade - this shouldn't happen especially amongst Christians.
Amaka: I've not been married before but I know that two people come together in marriage to unlearn, relearn and learn many new things. They come together to start a new life as one, forgetting their pasts and putting aside their differences for the better. It is important for each person to be willing to do this so that they can grow in the marriage together. Sex outside marriage is a sin, it doesn't matter the name we call it. We must be willing to trust that our partners are right for us and that they will be compatible sexually when we are married. We'll explore and learn together but to try it out before marriage is a no no! We both know our stand on this, which is also God's standard so please do not let what your friend told you make you go against God's standard...
There have been lots of discussions surrounding sexual compatibility/incompatibility and I thought to drop my thoughts on this. I also wrote on this sometime last year, please check this Link to read up on that write-up. May God help us singles to say no to the sexual temptations that come our way and even in marriage to stay faithful to our spouses in every way.
Thank you so much for stopping by, hope to see you soon.
OneLove,
SomzyBrown
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