THERE IS NO PERFECT MAN OUT THERE...

Bisola loves her dad so much and in fact they have a very unique relationship. He loves her as well and is very proud of her. However, he feels very ashamed any time he goes out with his friends and they get into the conversation on how their 'married' children are doing. "What of Bisola, has she not found anyone else? Or is she going to end up getting married to you?" Some of his friends would ask. He'ld try his best to laugh it off but this statement gets to him in a deep and hard way.

He has tried talking to Bisola about her relationship but he also doesn't want to be insensitive to her feelings about the matter. Regardless of how she would feel, he decided to bring up the matter again but with wisdom. "Bisola, you usually tell me about the guys that are asking for you to get into a relationship with them but lately you haven't told me about any. Are you in a relationship? Are you hiding things from me now? You know you can talk to me. I only wish the best for you and nothing more."

"Dad! I'm not currently in any relationship. If I was, I would have told you. I've just decided to go on a break from relationships since none so far has led to marriage. I want to take it easy and get it right. Also, I cannot get into a relationship with just anybody, I have to be sure that the person suits me and that we will make a great team as a couple. Dad, you know marriage is a serious matter! Please I don't want to make a mistake."

"I totally understand my darling daughter and you shall not make a mistake in Jesus name. The same way I got married to your mum and things went well with us is the same way your  marriage would go well by God's grace. But Bisola, I hope it is not that your standards are too high. Cos the truth is that there is no perfect man or woman out there so you might need to reconsider those 'high' standards of yours if there are any."

"Dad! I wouldn't say that I have any high standards. However, there are certain things that I must see in a man that I would be spending the rest of my life with. I'm not young anymore and I understand your concerns...

To be continued...

Thank you so much for stopping by. Please share this links with your friends. God bless you.

OneLove,

SomzyBrown. 

SENSITIVITY IS LIKE GOLD, DON'T BURY IT! 2

She came visiting that day and did not say anything about it neither did she try to console me. Instead, she kept asking why I was looking unhappy and suggested I was unhappy to see her. I got so pissed but I wasn't in the mood to remind her about the fact that I had just lost a close friend/colleague. How could she be so insensitive?" 

Like we established earlier, many ladies have complained about guys being insensitive but can we take a deep look at ourselves? Are we sure we are not doing the same thing we complain about? And no! We cannot say that guys do not have emotions or do not require us to be sensitive. That's very incorrect as we can see from Tosin and Rachael's story.

One of the things that I want to improve on this year is 'sensitivity'. I want to be very sensitive to the needs of people around me but more importantly to the needs of my spouse. I want to know when to bring up an issue and when to just remain silent. I want to put into consideration his emotions regardless of what I feel like doing at that point in time.

Sensitivity is very key and this is an important area in relationships. We need to know when our spouse needs us closer and when they require a little bit of space (lol. The space should not be too much abeg). We need to know when they are happy and when they are sad. When they need advice and when they just need to be listened to.

This would require a lot of work, patience and love but it is achievable. I really pray that God will help each of us to be sensitive and more sensitive this year in our relationships and marriages. Amen!

Thank you so much for stopping by and we shall see you next week by God's grace.

OneLove,

SomzyBrown.

SENSITIVITY IS LIKE GOLD, DON'T BURY IT!

Racheal and Tosin got into a relationship three (3) months ago. They love each other and they're hopeful that the relationship would lead to marriage. They are both excited and they are making attempts to ensure that things remain great between them. 

Although they both seem to enjoy each other's company, they have had some issues (as expected). I'm sure we all agree that it's okay to have issues in a relationship and that some issues are not a sign that the relationship wouldn't work. In fact, they help some people grow more in love. Sorry I just had to drop this quickly. Let's get back to the love birds.

One of the major issues that appears to be a reoccurring one and which is becoming frustrating for Tosin is that "Racheal is not sensitive to my feelings and she doesn't understand why I keep complaining about it. I seriously don't understand why it is not okay for me to complain about her insensitivity towards me."

To be honest, it is ladies that most times complain about insensitivity on the part of their boyfriend/husband and so I guess many ladies do not expect guys or men to complain about lack of sensitivity on their part. To some ladies, this topic should only favour the female gender. But why is this so? Anyway, let's see what exactly Tosin means.

According to Tosin - "Racheal is very insensitive because sometimes I am not in the mood to talk due to the fact that I had a bad day at work or as a result of something terrible that occured during the day. But then she keeps insisting on talking about certain matters that I'll rather not talk about. Many times, she ignores or pretends not to hear certain things that I say to her and it is really annoying. I am a guy but I am also very emotional and this is what she fails to understand. I have complained about this over and over but she still doesn't get it. 

"I'll give an example - I lost a colleague of mine who was quite close to me. When it happened, I told Racheal about it and how I felt about the whole situation but guess what happened?..."

To be continued...

OneLove,

SomzyBrown

I ALMOST LOST MY MIND...

Happy new year my precious people. I trust the year 2021 is going to be and is already a great, pleasant, miraculous one for each and everyone of us in Jesus name. Thank you so much for staying with us all through these years and especially last year. A lot of things happened last year and I believe strongly that this year would be different (in a positive way) for each and every one of us. 

As we all know, we write majorly on relationships on this blog and I'll like to use this opportunity to plead that we stay positive in our relationship and marital expectations this year as we can see below:

Tomisin was talking to some of her friends about her expectations of 2020 and how almost none of the things she trusted God for (especially a marital relationship) came to pass. In her words "I almost lost my mind when the month of December came and I discovered I was still single. If I was even in a relationship, maybe I wouldn't have felt that bad...but then I know that life is not over for me so I'm not going to give up. I wouldn't deny the fact that it was very hard to trust and believe God that this year would be different. It was extremely hard but I've decided not to lose hope. I believe 2021 is my year and I'll be found by that amazing man that has refused to show up since..."

Many of us might have had the "I almost lost my mind" or "I lost my mind" moments especially when it comes to relationships. For those that are married, it could even be that you were trusting that God will heal your marriage and restore peace to your home in 2020 but guess what? The year 2020 is over and far gone but we are in a new year and God is going to surprise you greatly.

Please do no not lose your mind! Do not give up! Hold unto God, believe Him and trust Him to do the unbelievable and the miraculous in whatever area of your life that you're trusting Him to show up for you.

If you're like Tomisin who almost lost her mind at the fact that many things especially marital relationship did not happen, please stay strong with the hope and confidence that 2021 is going to be a different year for you. 

Thank you once again for your constant support. God bless you.

Please if there are certain topics that you would like us to write on this year, please by all means let us know. You can drop a comment below or send an email to us: somzybrown@gmail.com 

Thanks for stopping by and we hope to see you soon. 

OneLove,

SomzyBrown.