THE PERFECT MATE/MATCH 2

Last week, I introduced us to a write-up that was shared with me and I shared 3 out of the 6 mates that the author analysed. This week, I would continue with the remaining mates and I would like to state again that although the write-up is from an unknown author, a few words have been added by my humble self.

MARRY YOUR SPENDING MATE: It is adviceable not to get married to someone that is stingy because there are so many expenses to cater for in marriage. A stingy guy in courtship would not suddenly become a generous husband in marriage. Also please do not get married to a lady that has the financial philosophy of 'My husband's money is our money, but my money is my money'. Get married to someone that believes in dignity of labour and is ready to work. Do not get married to a lazy fellow who just wants to be a consumer and not a contributor. Get married to someone who is ready to spend and be spent on (this goes both ways). This definitely would help in the growth and success of the family. 

Also it is important to get married to someone that has the same or similar financial philosophy as you do. For example, if you believe in saving or investing a certain amount of money, you should be diligent enough to discover whether or not your partner to be has the same philosophy. Another example is - if you believe in giving and your spouse to be does not, this might become an issue unless you are able to sort it out in some way. If he or she is willing to learn, you will discover after engaging him or her in certain discussions. As it is often said, money is one of the major issues in marriage and you need to be on the same or similar page with your spouse when it comes to issues surrounding finances as well as other important things.

MARRY YOUR SEX MATE: Please get married to someone you have sexual feelings for (i.e. you are attracted to). Sexual feeling is not a sin but the act before marriage is a sin. It is an instinct God put in every person. Sex plays a major role in the success of any marriage. Do not get married to any man/woman that you do not have emotional feelings for. Such feeling or attraction might take time to grow for some people but make sure it is in existence before you commit to getting married to him/her. A spiritual being is also a sexual being. No matter how spiritual you both may be in your marriage, you won't be praying for 24 hours in a day. You won't be reading the Bible or worshipping God 24/7. You will have sex! You will engage in romance! You will flirt with each other! You will make babies. So, get married to someone you can connect with sexually. It will help you enjoy your marriage so much! Feeling is different from the act!!! Do not misinterpret this please. Someone once asked: "does your body move when you see Miss B?" Your body should move, it shows attraction but you shouldn't move your body to do anything extra if you get what I mean.

MARRY YOUR SOCIAL MATE: Please do not get married to someone that you would not be proud to go out with. Don't get married to a person that you will be shy to introduce to  your parents, family members or friends. Get married to someone that you are comfortable to hang out with. Get married to the man or woman that you are socially compatible with. There's a story of a man who got married to a woman that he could not take with him to certain functions. He was a top person in his profession but the fear that his wife might be called upon to give an impromptu speech or engage in certain conversations that he knew she could not engage in made him ashamed to take her out. You might ask why he got married to her but that's for him to answer.

You might be wondering - "Is it possible to find all the 'mates' in one person?" The answer is YES! You don't need to get married to  6 guys/ladies to have all these mates. One person can be all that for you. If you also work on yourself and build your life, you can be all that for the guy/lady that will get married to you.

The promise of God for you is this : 'Seek and read from the book of the LORD: Not one of these shall be missing; none shall be without her mate. For the mouth of the LORD has commanded, and his Spirit has gathered them.' (Isaiah 34:16).

Say it loud and clear ' I shall not lack a mate!

Please let me state here that these different mates are not independent of each other and they are also not exhaustive. What this means is that you cannot say that because you are attracted to Mr. A, you have to get married to him. Attraction is just one of the many things to put into consideration and attraction alone is insufficient. Also you cannot say that because Miss B is a Christian and of the same spiritual background as you, then that's all that matters. No sir! No ma! (This is one topic that we would discuss soon)

The most important check you need is the check with God and then these mates (together) can be checked and other things that are important to you.

Thank you so much for stopping by and I hope you have been impacted by this write-up. We hope to see you next week. 

OneLove,

SomzyBrown

 

THE PERFECT MATE/MATCH

Someone shared a write-up on a group that I am part of and I found it interesting and educative. Although majority of the write-up is from an author unknown to me, I have added a few things to it. The writeup is titled: "6 MATES YOU MUST MARRY".

One of the ways your marriage will not add to the rate of divorce in our world today is if you get married to your mate. However, if you are married already, in order to avoid being a contributor to the divorce rate in the world, you must make your spouse your mate!

You see this statement 'Am I your mate?' does not apply in marriage. You must marry your mate. The different dimensions that you and the person you want to marry or you are married to must be mates on are as follows:

MARRY YOUR SPEAKING MATE: Get married to someone  you can speak to, someone you can understand and that can understand you. Communication is very crucial in marriage and it is the bedrock of any marriage. It is not adviceable to get married to someone that is not on the same page with you such that when you are referring to 'A' he or she will be referring to 'Z'. It is also not adviceable to get married to someone that makes you afraid and scared to express yourself. Once there is a dichotomy in your speaking and understanding level, you may not enjoy that marriage. So many men go to the bar to hang out with friends and gist till 11pm because they know their wives cannot engage in any meaningful or intellectual discussion. So many women also prefer to hang out with their friends, because they know their husbands' mentality when it comes to vital issues and discussions is very low. Get married to your speaking Mate!

MARRY YOUR SCHOOL MATE - By this I mean, get married to someone you can learn with and someone with whom you can improve on things.  Get married to someone that belongs to the same or similar school of thought as you. It is not adviceable to get married to a 'Mr know all' or 'Mrs know all'. Do not get married to  someone who is rigid and not open to new ideas, new ways of doing things, or new innovations. Marriage is a great institution. From day one till death do you part, you will keep learning. Marry your 'school' mate - someone who is ready to learn with you, someone who is willing to allow you grow while s/he also works on developing him/herself.

MARRY YOUR SPIRITUAL MATE: Marriage is not just a social union. It is also a spiritual union. Please get married to someone who knows the same God that you know. Do not get married to someone whose believe of God is different from yours. Two can't work together except they be agreed ( Amos 3:3, Joshua 23: 11-15, 2 Corinthians 6:14-18). The spiritual controls the physical, even in marriage. Check for spiritual compatibility in that person you want to get married to. Being with someone  with the same spiritual background as you, makes things easier than you can ever imagine. You really do not want to be with someone that you cannot discuss or study your religious book with or someone that you cannot pray with. This does not mean that there would not be issues, but you can win your battles together and easily by engaging in the same spiritual activity. 

To be continued next week...

Thank you so much for stopping by. We hope to see you next week. God bless you and enjoy the remaining days of the week.

OneLove,

SomzyBrown

LOVE IS MORE BEAUTIFUL WHEN SHARED.

Feb 14 of every year has been a remarkable day since I knew myself and even before I was born and it certainly remains one. People have used this day as an opportunity to show love and share gifts with the ones they love. This is a very beautiful and amazing thing. Although I am of the believe that love and deep affection should be part of our everyday lives and we do not have to wait for a particular day to show love to our spouses and people around us, (I mean God shows us love every single second and we are his children so we should show love as well),  however, it is not a bad idea that we have this month of love or love-month to be extra deliberate about loving our spouses.

I will like to advice that we use this opportunity to show love not just to our spouses but to people around us, especially the people who are not necessarily recipients of love. Let us give people reasons to smile again. Let us be deliberate and intentional in stretching out the arm of love. Gifts are precious and you do not have to break a bank to get a valuable gift for someone to prove that you love him or her. 

NOTE: Giving a person what he or she needs is more valuable than spending millions of Naira on something that he or she doesn't really need. So this is a call for us to be sensitive to the needs of our spouses as well as people around us. Remember that nothing is too small, so please go out of your comfort zone and make someone or some people smile by stretching your arm of LOVE towards them and giving them the needs that you can afford.

Another advice I would like to give is for us to be extra careful during this period. As much as we are in a season of love, some people are also out there to destroy us. Please I would like to beg you - do not let this period be one filled with regrets when you look back at it. In order to compulsorily get a gift from someone, some people get tempted to give up their bodies, their pride and compromise on the things that are very important to them. Please do not be part of these people. Some people will do it but it should not be you. Hold on to your beliefs! Hold on to your faith! Do not compromise!

This is also a period where some people get tempted to cheat on their spouses because they feel s/he is not giving them or is not capable of giving them what they want. Is this right? No sir! No ma! Please stick to your spouses and do not let the love of money/gifts be the reason that you will depart from them. This day will come and go and so the fact that you think you need a gift by all means is not a good enough reason to be moody or to cheat on your spouse. S/he would definitely have reasons for not giving you a gift so do not be downcast or tempted to do something that might destroy your marriage or relationship.

Can I shake a table?

Please women DO NOT start feeling entitled because Vals day is around the corner. Your husband or boyfriend can get you a gift but it goes both ways. You can also get him a gift. There is no law that says women are the only ones that have the ability to receive gifts! Men are humans as well and so they have the same ability to receive gifts as you do. Yes, it might not be an expensive gift (based on your capacity) but he deserves to get something from you as much as you feel you deserve to get something from him.

Once again we say - HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY in advance. Enjoy yourself but remain pure - let nothing be missing or broken

OneLove,

SomzyBrown

IS IT GOOD FOR MAN TO BE ALONE??

I was going to write on something else but I saw this and I loved the message in it so I thought I share it with you guys as it was shared with me. Enjoy the read:

The word "Eden" is an Hebrew word for "where God dwells", so the first thing God gave man was "His Presence".

(1) The first thing a man needs is NOT a woman; it is the presence of God, and a woman should meet him in the presence of God. Eve met Adam in Eden.

(2) The next thing God gave man after putting him in the Garden was WORK. (Gen. 2:15). God gave man work before giving him a woman. That means a man needs a job before he gets a woman. God's priorities are very clear.

(3) The third thing God told man was "Cultivate"...... Cultivate here means, bring out the best in everything around you, to maximize the potentials of everything and everyone around you; to make everything fruitful. He only said that to the male. That's why God will never give a man a finished woman. The male was created by God to create whatever he wants. The woman you are looking for doesn't exist; she's in your head. Your job is to take the raw material you married and cultivate her into the woman in your head. So you have been married for 20 years and you still do not like the product you get?  That's your fault.

(3a) If your wife is putting on a little weight and you don't like that, don't criticize her; it's your job to wake her at 6am, " Hey baby, let's go jogging".

(3b) You don't like her dress? Take her to a boutique and buy her the kind of clothes you like.

(3c) She can't speak good English? Send her to school and pay her tuition fee. CULTIVATE HER!!!!

(4) The fourth thing God said to man was, "Guard the Garden". The man has to be the protector of everything under his care. That's why God gave you a stronger bone frame. A bigger muscle mass, not to abuse the woman, but to protect the woman.

(5) The last thing God gave man was his Word... God told man not to touch the tree; God never told the woman about the tree, NEVER!!!..... Which means it was the man WHO received the word of God and his job was to teach his wife the word of God.

NOTE: Nothing frustrates a woman like when she asks her man "So what do you think" and the dummy answers "what ever you think is OK"....or keeps quiet. ..Giving Silence...mmmm.

Don't do that bro, don't do that. She's looking for knowledge and direction. That was the last command God gave to man in Vs 17.

★Now watch this: in verse 18, God said, "It is not good for this man to be alone". Now, don't just read the statement fast, read it again slowly, " it is not good for THIS MAN to be alone".

WHAT MAN???

Answer : The man who is:

*In his presence

*Has a job (working)

*Can Cultivate you

*Can protect you

*Can teach you.

So here's the problem:

★ If you meet a man who doesn't like God's presence, isn't working, can't cultivate you, can't protect you and can't teach you, then.....

IT IS GOOD FOR THAT MAN TO BE ALONE! *Full Stop!*

You can check the website below:

http://www.pridesibiya.com/2017/04/myles-munroe-relationships-and-marriage.html?m=1

Thank you so much for stopping by, we hope you've gained one or two things from this. See you next week, yes you.

OneLove,

SomzyBrown