HOW THE JOURNEY TO FOREVER BEGAN.

"You are welcome" her father said to me as I walked into the house and I responded saying thank you. I had learned a few Igbo words so I used some of them as I responded to their greetings and questions. I was asked loads of questions and I believed I did well but guess what? And the end of it all, they said they were not going to give me a feedback yet. In their words "we have to meet with the elders and then decide." I was more than ready to get married to Sandra but her parents were making it difficult. Why should it be so difficult because we are from different ethnic groups?

At this point, I was so frustrated and furious that I couldn't say a word to Sandra or her parents. Although I got to Sandra's village with my hopes high (I mean after serious prayer and fasting), I left the village so sad and heartbroken that I couldn't say a word to Sandra or anyone. My mum kept calling all through my journey back but I couldn't pick up because I wasn't sure of what to say. 

I got home and decided to stay away from Sandra for a bit because I didn't want to take out my disappointment and frustration on her but this was quite difficult. I loved her so much that it was hard to stay away from her. She tried to encourage me to give them time but I wasn't having any of it. I had tried my best and I was beginning to agree with my friends. Indeed, there are other ladies and maybe I should really just move on with the hope that I'll find someone else. While all these were going through my mind, Sandra said "If you really love me and want us to spend our lives together till old age, please bear with me and my parents. I have tried talking to them and it's very tiring but please be patient..."

This was hard. I really loved Sandra and I was willing to wait for her parents approval but I was just tired at the amount of time it was taking. Despite the thoughts and temptation to give up, I made up my mind to wait.

Few weeks later, I got a call from Sandra's mum giving me the good news. I was more than excited to hear that the 'Elders' had decided in my favour. We were so excited and we began to make plans and preparation for marriage and in less than 6 months, I got married to the woman of my dreams. The wait was long but in the end, it paid off and we were both full of joy.

Thanks a lot for staying through with me on this. I hope that you've learned one or two things from my story.

Anonymous

Thanks for stopping by, we hope to see you soon. God bless you.

OneLove,

SomzyBrown

FINALLY SOME GOOD NEWS...

I was really worried about Sandra and the fact that I was the reason she was frustrated was enough frustration for me. I thought deeply about what to do and then decided to talk to my mum. I mean she was the only one I could think of at that time.

My mother is a prayer warrior so I pleaded with her to pray to her God to touch the hearts of Sandra's parents. There are other beautiful ladies but you can't get married to just 'anyone'. Infact some of my friends had told me about their own experiences and rejection from their to be in-laws and how they had to move on with their lives but I didn't care. I had made the choice on who I wanted to get married to and I was not going to change my mind because of something like this.

My mother called for a 7 day prayer and fasting (she could be extra sometimes) and despite the fact that I love food so much, this was an important issue so I took it seriously. My siblings also joined in this prayer and fasting and it was a refreshing time. Two days after we ended the prayer and fasting, Sandra called me just before close of business and said she had something to tell me but that we had to see physically. I wasn't sure whether to be excited or not but I believed that God had answered the prayers of my mum, my siblings and I so I had faith that it was good news. 

There were no prior plans to pick her up from work that day but guess what? Your guy added it to the plan straightaway. She looked a lot better and somewhat excited so this gave me some hope as well. I couldn't wait so I asked her what the information was and she said that her parents had asked for me to come see them. Whao! I was ecstatic. I told her we would go during the weekend.  I bought a lot of fruits and vegetables and took a lot of money along to appease my soon to be in-laws. I was hopeful!

The journey to the village was long but finally we arrived in good condition even though I was knackered. I ensured I was on my best behavior and I was ready to answer any questions they threw at me. From the look of things, Sandra's mum was a bit excited but the look on her father's face was not encouraging at all. It was good enough that they had asked for me to come so I tried to remain positive.

To be continued...

OneLove,

SomzyBrown

WHAT'S THERE NOT TO LOVE?

We started out really happy and joyous and I wanted this to be the norm for us.  I was ready to do anything to ensure that nothing took away this joy and peace that we felt in our relationship. I loved her so much. I had introduced her to everyone around me even my parents. My parents are not the best with inter-tribal marriages but I convinced them that I knew she was the right one for me. Although very reluctantly, they approved of her and we began to make subtle plans towards our wedding. She seemed so excited, even though we hadn't gotten any feedback from her parents. I guess acceptance from a man's family really does mean a lot to a woman or don't you think so?

We spent time together a lot. I always picked her up from work even though her workplace wasn't so close to mine but I loved her so much that I always wanted to spend more and more time with her. She loved it and some of her colleagues hailed her about my gesture saying that while some of them had to hustle for 'danfo' (public transportation), she got a free ride home almost everyday. She shared this with me and we laughed about it. I wasn't doing it because it was convenient but because I really did love her and was willing to make sacrifices for her. I guess this counts as something deep right? (smiles).

She made a lot of sacrifices for me as well, many of which I might not be able to share. Sandra is a good woman and I just couldn't wait to spend the rest of my life with her. Her poise, body-shape, smile, intelligence, approach to life, what was there not to love about this beautiful angel? Nothing to be honest! There's no perfect human out there. Lol, thanks for the reminder but guess what? Sandra was just perfect to me and perfect for me. To me, that was all that mattered. 

Although my parents had come to love and accept Sandra, she was having it really difficult with her parents on the other hand. They were not ready to accept a Yoruba boy from Ogun State regardless of the wealth or affluence that I had. "You must get married to Obinna or someone from our village whether you like it or not" they constantly said to her. We laughed about it many times but sometimes it made her really teary. Sandra loves her parents (who doesn't?) but she also loves me and this situation put her in a fix and she just wished our parents would understand that she really wanted to be with me. 

On one of the days back from work, I noticed that she wasn't smiling or happy. "Why would my angel be downcast" I thought to myself. I had to ask her to share what the issue was and she told me she was getting frustrated at the whole events and she wasn't sure of what to do about her parents. The pressure was getting too much and she was tired. This made me sad but how exactly could I help or make things better? I was the reason she was in this position anyway.

To be continued...

Thanks a lot for your time and support and we hope to see you next week. God bless and keep you and yours.

OneLove,

SomzyBrown.

 

WHY SHOULDN'T I LOSE HOPE?

 

I'm not sure what you might be going through right now or the events that have occurred in the past few days, weeks, months, years etc. But I just want you to know that things will surely get better if you don't give up. It is often said that it is those who do not give up that end up having a testimony and that's the truth because the moment you give up, you've closed the gate to the possibility of something happening. Imagine you go knocking at a door and for some reason they don't open immediately, the moment you turn back you're unsure of whether the door would have been opened or not. 

The below poem is just to encourage you not to give up on your relationship or marital or any kind of goals or hopes that you have. Keep pushing and stay strong and I pray that very soon, the wait would be over by God's grace. In the end, I pray that you'll have testimonies and you'll be glad you waited and didn't give up.

When I look to the sky

It all of a sudden looks dry

What exactly could be happening

If the moon& stars aren’t dying?

My hope seems to be lost

My heart counts the cost

Why on earth am I living

If I can’t help the shivering?

My thoughts are very weak

And my soul seems to leak

The bloodshed is too real

That I just have to be still.

I wonder if things will ever change

Every time I open a new page

This is just too much too bear,

But nobody seems to notice my fear.

I look to the Heavens& see a Creator

that loves and cares for me like a mentor

“Don’t lose hope”, he says to me

although this is hard, I’ll let things be.

There’s so much more to life than these

Everything would be fine& I would enjoy the bliss

Things happen but they will surely get better

My hope will get back as I read His letter.

Thank you so much for stopping by and we hope that you enjoyed reading this poem. See you next week by God's grace.

OneLove,

SomzyBrown