I JUST MISSED MY TARGET! 2

Aderinola Makinde is a beautiful lady with a beautiful heart and she is loved by everyone everywhere she goes. She is the only child of her parents and her parents have an amazing marriage. She admires their marriage so well and she has always hoped that she will get married to someone who would make their marriage be as great as that of her parents.

The Makindes love their daughter so much and she is their only biological child so they have poured out all of their love to her (as can be seen from the dialogue from last week). Although they are very loving, they are also very disciplined and they ensured that they did their best in bringing up their daughter correctly. They have never troubled her about bringing a man home but Aderinola seems to have set a target for herself and because she has not been able to meet up with this marital or relationship target, she is losing her mind and about to give up. 

She expressed missing a marital target to her dad and he was not happy to hear that. He reminded her of the fact that it is God who knows who and what is best for her and that it is not necessary to set a target for marriage or beat herself up when things do not go the way she wants. He further told her that himself and her mum always pray for every area of her life and although her marital life is part of that they are not in a hurry and would never put pressure on her. "At the end of the day, we are more concerned about who you get married to than when you get married" said her dad. Her parents love her, they are praying for her and are not putting any undue pressure on her.

This is just to encourage someone who is giving up or about to give up. Maybe like Aderinola you have set a marital target for yourself and the man or woman does not seem to be co-operating or coming forth. Please and please do not beat yourself up about this. The fact that it has not happened is for a reason but don't put yourself under undue pressure. The right man or woman will come for you so please stay calm and trust God. Man may fail but God never fails. Take your desires to Him and he will grant them in His own way, at His own time and in accordance with His will. If your parents are part of the pressure or the cause of the marital target, please get a mentor or if you already have one, seek advice from them. Don't get depressed over what might be a blessing to you.

 It is better to get it right late than to get it wrong early

Thanks a lot for stopping by and we hope you have learnt one or two things from this post. Please feel free to share if you've been blessed. See you next week by God's grace.

OneLove,

SomzyBrown

I JUST MISSED MY TARGET!

Tope Makinde: Aderinola! Aderinola! Aderinola! How many times have I called you?

Aderinola: (Remains silent as she does not know what to say to her mum). 

Tope Makinde: What is your problem? What exactly is wrong with you? You did not go to work yesterday and I didn't say anything. You have refused to go today as well and you're not saying what the matter is.

Aderinola: Mummy there's nothing wrong. 

Tope Makinde: So you just don't feel like going to work, is that what you're trying to tell me? 

Aderinola: Mummy I just need time to rest!

Tope Makinde: Rest? Rest! Okay but it is only if I am not your mother that I would not know that this kind of rest is not normal. You have also refused to eat. Please! Don't kill yourself o!

Tope Makinde: How is Segun? Does he know that you are taking time off to 'rest'?

Aderinola: (muttering to herself). As if he is not the cause of this problem.

Tope Makinde: What did you say? 

Aderinola: Nothing mummy. He knows that I am taking time off work. Mum if you don't mind, can I just be left alone?

Tope Makinde: I will leave you alone but only on the condition that you will tell me what the problem is this night. I cannot allow you stay another day in this house without knowing what the problem is. 

(Tope Makinde leaves her daughter's room and goes straight to her husband)

Tope Makinde: Darling, the apple of your eyes is not acting okay. She has been absent from work for two days now and she's telling me she just wants to rest. 

Dare Makinde: Well if she says she needs to rest then maybe she just wants to rest from all the stress of work. She is allowed to do that, isn't she? At least you're always the one encouraging her not to kill herself because of work.

Tope Makinde: I know that rest is good and I am am advocate for rest but this rest does not seem normal to me. Please I know that she will most likely tell you what the problem is so just ask her when you're free.

Dare Makinde: Okay, I'll do that my dear. But if you're worried that something is wrong, let us say a word of prayer for her.

(Parents hold hands together and spend some minutes praying for their daughter).

(Later that evening, Dare Makinde decides to check up on his daughter and finds her crying)

Dare Makinde: My baby, the apple of my eyes...what is the matter? Why are you crying? (He moves close to her and gives her a warm hug)

Aderinola: (Crying on his shoulders, she did not know when she screamed) Daddy I had a target! I had a target! But now I have missed it!

Dare Makinde: Target? So why don't you explain to them at work and ask for more time? 

Aderinola: That's the problem. It is not a work related target.

Dare Makinde: So what kind of target is it?

Aderinola: It is the target I set for myself to...

To be continued.

Thanks a lot for stopping by and we look forward to seeing you next week.

OneLove,

SomzyBrown.

WHO SHOULD TAKE CARE OF YOU? 2

This is the continuation of last week's write-up by Mrs. Debola Deji-Kurunmi. I hope you enjoyed it and I do hope you enjoy this as well.



If you don't care for you; if you don't love you; if you don't respect you - that's basically the most important person in your life refusing to commit to you. It counts! It matters! And the impact is far-reaching.

I know this because many times, when I sit in a counselling session with couples; I often see women who don't love themselves arm-twisting their husbands to do that for them. This is a sad reality, because it is only in self-exploration and self-affection (not in a selfish, compulsive way; but with healthy love, discovery, and growth) that you know enough about yourself to invite others in, and teach them how to love you. And this, is a Lifelong Quest.

If you take care of yourself, it will show in the following things:

1. Inner Speech - How you speak about yourself to yourself 

2. Growth - How you consciously commit to become a better version of yourself.

3. Relationships - The kind of people you give access into your life and space.

4. Decisions - The choices you make, and how they impact on your sanity, safety and satisfaction in life.

5. Happiness - How you enjoy life and deliberately seek out opportunities to experience daily joy, humor and fun! (Now, this one is based on your personal values. If your values are right, your idea of pleasure won't be damaging.)

6. Healing and Recovery - How you confront, process and heal trauma, stress and pain; so that you don't get permanently damaged by the hard knocks of life.

7. Work and Purpose - How you intentionally build your work around your highest meaning and life's purpose - beyond merely making money and growing a status.

8. Challenge - The willingess to take increasing demanding paths because you want to stretch yourself into the Next Level!

9. Investment - What you do with your money is a proof of what you consider most important in life.

10. Spirituality - How you grow your connection with God, so that your highest self (unhindered by pain, pretense or pressure) can emerge, and you can offer your highest good to humanity.

So LITMUS Test for this Week -

Look at these ten above, and write out your scores (on a scale of 1 (very low) to 10 (perfect)) to see how you are doing with Caring for YOU!

Please partake in the above test so that you will figure out how well you are doing with caring for yourself. 

Thanks for stopping by and we look forward to seeing you next week. 

OneLove,

SomzyBrown

WHO SHOULD TAKE CARE OF YOU?

• 

I came across this write-up by the amazing Mrs Debola Deji-Kurunmi and I was blessed by it so I thought to myself "why not share it with your readers? It will be very useful and insightful". I followed my heart and that is why I am sharing the below with you. The topic was slightly changed but the message is the same. Enjoy your read!



Years ago, when I was in the University; a young man asked me out and wanted to get into a relationship with me. I really liked him though I was just 17 and knew better than to start a relationship at that time. But this guy basically got himself an apartment in my heart! I couldn't stop thinking about him, and I think one of the things that stood him out was this - he said to me "I am not here to take advantage of you Debola. I want to take care of you. I want to help you reach your highest potential on this campus. I want to support you and love you!" Omo, see lireeks!!! (I made up that spelling, don't look at any Dictionary).

I was blown away, because it is in human nature to be drawn to those who commit to us, those who care for us, those who watch out for us, those who nurture us! This is an underlying definer for many women, in making marriage choices, plus it has gotten others into trouble, falling in love with a man just because he was showing a lot of compassion and concern.

Hopefully, as you read tonight; your mind happily strays to people in your life who genuinely care for you! Shout out to many women who get pass my roles and titles; and step into School Mummy shoes with me. "DDK, have you eaten? What are you doing awake at 2.40am? You look tired in that video, chill off girl!" Or like Sarah Adewusi yesterday "DDK, I am sending moimoi to you, please take note." Lol!!! Now, I consider a freezer full of moimoi, the height of earthly love. Hahahahaha...

But hey, let's get past all these amazing people who care for us, for a moment. Or even those who don't. Let's shift the focus on ourselves. Do you know you actually owe yourself love, admiration, respect, and commitment to growth? You do! You're going to live the longest with yourself. You are your private haven, the closest human voice in your heart. You are the longest-standing witness of your life - a journey dating from birth till now. 

We will continue with the remaining part of this write-up next week by God's grace and we will partake in the test that Mrs. Deji-Kurunmi has adviced we partake in. Until then, stay blessed and please TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.

OneLove,

SomzyBrown