CAN I EVER LOVE OR BE LOVED??? 4

I got scared everytime uncle Chinedu came around the house. I could no longer trust him or look at him as the uncle that I really liked and had great respect for. My impression about him had become bad and I was unsure that anything could change it. I tried to take the last incident off my mind but it was quite difficult. Seeing him made me remember that day and so I hated seeing him.

One Thursday morning on our way to school, mum told my sisters and I that Uncle Chinedu was going to pick us up from school. This news would normally have been a good one but at this time it was not. Rather it was one that made me shiver. While my younger ones got really excited about this, nothing but great fear gripped my heart. I asked mum why she could not pick us up by herself and although this was an unusual question, she answered by saying that she had to pay an urgent visit to my grandma who was sick.

Uncle Chinedu had promised not to hurt me and even though this was not convincing, I tried to believe him. As soon as we got home, I went straight to the room to change, prepared lunch for my younger ones and went back into my room. My immediate younger sister had noticed my cold attitude towards uncle Chinedu and wanted to know why I was acting that way. I was the closest person in our family to Uncle Chinedu but that seemed to be changing. I told her nothing was wrong and in a bid to make her believe me, I went out to play with my younger sisters and uncle Chinedu.

It was time for siesta and my sisters had soon disappeared. My younger ones had learnt to observe siesta, so the moment they finished with their lunch and home-work, they went straight to their rooms.  It was scary being left alone with uncle Chinedu in the sitting room. "What would he do this time around?". I tried to avoid any form of eye contact with him because I thought that could make him remember what he did the last time and make him think of other possible things to do to me.

I went into the kitchen to wash the dishes and clean up the mess that my younger ones had made. I enjoyed doing this alone or maybe I had just gotten used to doing it alone. While I was cleaning up, Uncle Chinedu called me and said he wanted to talk to me. "Oh! What could he possibly want to say to me." I wondered. I tried to disregard all the ugly thoughts that crossed my mind but it was hard. I was going to ignore him but then that would have been rude so I went to him. 

He started by saying "I have noticed that you have been cold towards me and I don't know why". "Was he really saying this? That he did not know why I was being cold?". Well, I remained silent while he said all he had to say. He aplogised for what happened the last time and asked me to come close for a hug but I was very reluctant. He then said "Common! It's only a hug" "Well, a hug wouldn't hurt" This was my thought while I moved close to him. 

Thanks for stopping by, we hope you enjoyed it and hope to see you next week.

OneLove,

Somzybrown

CAN I EVER LOVE OR BE LOVED??? 3

One Tuesday afternoon, uncle Chinedu picked us up from school and brought us home. This was not strange because mum called on him whenever she was unable to pick us up from school. We were very excited that he was going to stay with us until mum got back because this meant that we were going to get a lot of goodies. Although getting goodies was a norm to many of my friends, the story was quite different for my younger sisters and I. Whenever we asked mum about why she never got us chocolates, icecream, cakes she gave the excuse that she did not want us to have bad teeth. Anyway this was uncle Chinedu's opportunity to spoil us and trust me, he used it really well.

Mum not being at home was not strange and not bad as she had taught me to do a lot of things like cook; take care of my sisters and take care of the house. Although at that time, it was a hard task and the most annoying thing to do, it is something I am very grateful for now because many of the things I can do today is as a result of what I learnt during my young age.

So I had been waiting for the right time to ask uncle Chinedu about why he was not married. "This day feels like a good day to ask him" I thought to myself. It was a good opportunity to ask uncle Chinedu a lot of questions without being told "shut up! You are too forward". Mum never liked us asking older people private questions because she said we could be judged as being rude. Whenever she was around us, we behaved ourselves but the moment she was far from us, we were back to asking questions as they came to our minds.

Uncle Chinedu so I have been meaning to ask you - why aren't you married? "Why are you asking such a question, what do you know about marriage?" He said with a grin of his face. "I just want to know, there's no particular reason" "Well maybe because I haven't found the right woman yet" he said. I was still trying to understand what he meant by that when suddenly I felt a person's hand come over my neck. I was quite scared as I did not remember anyone coming into the house during our conversation. This person's hand went from my neck to my face and it just felt awkward. I turned and discovered that it was uncle Chinedu (of course it was). I did not know what to say because firstly, I did not understand why he decided to do that. No one had touched me like that before and I was going to shout at him when I remembered  all the sacrifices he had made for my mum, my sisters and I.

A lot of things kept running through my mind and I just could not understand what Uncle Chinedu was thinking when he came up to touch my neck and face. "Was it as a result of the question I asked or what exactly could this be about?" I asked myself. This was not the first time he was staying with us alone at home but this was the first time this was happening. "Why are you looking afraid? I was just playing with you. I won't hurt you". He said to me. These words were the most annoying words that I had heard in my life. How could someone I respected and trusted touch me in such manner and tell me not to be scared.

I thought of how to tell my mum that we did not want him in our house anymore but she was going to ask me for the reason and I really did not want to talk about it. I also thought I was taking it too far. "Maybe in all sincerity he was only playing with me" I told myself.

Thanks for stopping by, we hope to see you next week. Stay tuned! 

OneLove

SomzyBrown

CAN I EVER LOVE OR BE LOVED??? 2

My parents prayed and fasted about this issue because for a reason best known to them, a male child just had to come forth. As a young girl, well not so young though, I saw the ferventness in their prayer and I actually silently prayed that their prayer will be answered. Did God answer their prayer? Well your guess is as good as mine! He did answer their prayer of a child but not the gender that they wanted. They tried one more time and it was a girl again. At this point, they did not need a prophet to tell them that they had to stop trying and to just thank God for the beautiful girls (4 of us) that God had blessed them with. Although quite hard, my parents had to learn to love my sisters and I and also, to be grateful for us.

Due to the fact that my mum had no male child, she always had people, especially grown up guys (or should I call them men) helping her do stuff that we (her daughters) could not do. She never lacked help and in fact, she did not really feel the effect of not having a male child. She was indeed blessed. Some people say that her beautiful girls (my sisters and I) made things easy for her because people just naturally liked us and were always willing to come to our rescue. I remember one time, mum needed to take the car out for repairs but she also did not want to leave us at home by ourselves. Mum obviously could not do both by herself and dad wasn't home either.  She called on Uncle Chinedu to help and in no time, he was at our house. He took the car out, got it repaired and brought it back in good time. Mum was so grateful for a man like Uncle Chinedu, he was indeed a blessing to her.

Dad had gotten really busy at work and so we rarely saw him. He usually left the house very early and came back late. I wonder if it was the lack of a male child that made him stay so late at work and leave the house early but he was not even there to be asked such a question. It would have been good to have him around because apart from the fact that house-keeping was a lot for mum, we also needed him to be part of our lives.

Uncle Chinedu was one of the nicest uncles that we knew. He was the one who visited our house the most. Although he was being really helpful to my mum, he ensured that he got us things whenever he was coming over. We loved him not just for the gifts but because he made life easy for us. He soon became the fatherly figure that we had lost due to dad's busy schedule. Uncle Chinedu helped with our home work from school and whenever mum was tired to drive us to school, he made sure he was available to help out.

We soon got so used to Uncle Chinedu. He was so caring person and I wondered why he was not married. I really wanted to know why a good man like uncle Chinedu was not yet married but I was not sure it was a question I wanted to ask him. "Sooner or later, you will be bold to ask him" I thought to myself. Myself and Uncle Chinedu were beginning to get close because sometimes when mum had to go out, he stayed at home with us.

Thank you so much for stopping by, we hope to see you next week as we continue with this series.

OneLove,

SomzyBrown

CAN I EVER LOVE OR BE LOVED??

 

My mother was and still is the most wonderul person that you can ever meet. She takes on people's problems and issues like they are hers and even at the most difficult situation, she ensures that she finds a solution. She was and still is such a blessing not just to her family members but to friends and even to strangers. Mum gives! She can give for Africa. She is very peaceful and this and many more I have learnt from her. She treats my friends with so much care and sometimes people think she is their mother. 

 

Growing up was all fun because of her. She was married to this very handsome and wonderful man who of course was the man of the house. They loved each other so much and this was glaring to the world. They had great plans for their home and they looked forward to actualising these plans. Before their marriage, they had both analysed and discussed on how they were going to handle their boys when they were born. They unanimously wanted two boys and were ready to raise them in the best way possible.

 

Like the saying goes: "God works in mysterious ways", this actually did come to pass in my parent's lives. God decided to bless them firstly with a beautiful girl (me). They tried their possible best to take care of me and show me love even though I wasn't really the one they were expecting. The first four years of my life was filled with a mixture of happiness and sadness. While my parents were excited that they had a child (which many of their friends did not have at that time), they were not happy that it was not a male child.

 

After four years of waiting for their 'looked forward to' boy, they got blessed with my younger sister (Ireti). Ireti was a gift to me, I do not particularly think she was a gift to my parents at that time because Ireti's birth was yet another dissapointment to them. However, she was a blessing to me because there was someone to talk to irrespective of whether she understood me. Finally I had someone to play with, even if it meant just touching her face and pulling her hands and legs. Ireti was and is very adorable, I was and I am very happy to have her as my sister.

 

As if this was not enough, my parents kept trying and hoping that the next child will be a boy.  Three (3) years later, they not so surprisingly gave birth to another beautiful sister  of mine (Bimbo). Bimbo was actually the cutest baby ever. She was beautiful in all ramifications and anyone who had her as a child was blessed to have her. But were my parents blessed or did they consider themselves blessed? Well, all they wanted was for God to compensate them by giving them a male child but since that male child wasn't coming forth, they were supposed to move on and enjoy the 3 beautiful girls that God had blessed them with, right?

 

At this point, what do you think happened? Did they get tired or did they try one more time to see if they could at least get 1 out of the 2 boys they really looked forward to having??

 

Thanks for stopping by, we hope to see you next week.

 

OneLove,

 

SomzyBrown