JUST BEFORE MY WEDDING...I HAD A PANIC ATTACK 3

Getting into another relationship was hard for me but I did it anyway. I knew that we were not compatible but I was ready to manage because I wasn't sure I could ever get someone better. However, along the line, I discovered that someone else was pregnant for him and so we compulsorily had to end the relationship. I had failed to listen to all the people I respect who warned me about Tony and I had failed to obey the instructions of the only Person that orders my footstep (God) so I guess that pregnant lady had to show up for me to come to my senses.

My relationship story is one that I had to share because I was at a point in my life where I felt it was never going to work out fine with me and any guy. But God turned my situation around and I will be getting married to the love of my life in a few days. Don't worry, I am sure that we are getting married this time (smiles). The way this one happened is actually beyond me. This person has always been in my corner, always admired me but never said a word about it. Many people around me excluding myself knew that he liked me. He spoke to my Pastor who doubles as my Mentor before finally deciding to propose marriage to me and the rest they say is history. 

I have gone from trusting God to doubting Him and to trusting Him again and in all I can say that God cares so much about me and that is why he saved me from the previous relationships and 'almost marriage'. He has brought my husband to me and I can boldly say that he is the bone of my bone and the man that is right for me. He isn't perfect, well neither am I or anyone else but he is Godsent.

I have shared my story with you to encourage you. Please do not give up. No matter how you've been treated in the past, God still has the best plan for you and the way that man or woman would show up in your life, would surprise you. Another advice I would love to give is this - a lot of people would put pressure on you and you could even put pressure on yourself but it is not worth it. It is better to wait and get it right than for you to decide to be with someone out of desperation and therefore make a decision that you may regret for the rest of your life.

That right man or woman would come so please do not give up and do not be desperate. As the year comes to an end, please instead of weeping over the relationships or other things that haven't worked out well, think of the things that have worked out well - I am certain that there are some things to be thankful for.

Thank you so much for staying with us during this series. I hope that you have been inspired in one way or the other. God bless you real good. 

Also thank you for coming every week to this place to read and get inspired. I appreciate you all so much and I thank God for all your support. See you in the new year by God's grace. 

HAPPY NEW YEAR IN ADVANCE!

OneLove,

SomzyBrown.

JUST BEFORE MY WEDDING...I HAD A PANIC ATTACK 2

 

"You are an amazing person and I really wanted to get married to you but there is a lot going on right now in my life and I don't think we can go ahead with this marriage. I can't do this anymore. I am truly sorry." He said to me.

"What? Are you joking? It's a month to our wedding and you're saying this! You did not even have the courtesy of meeting with me physically to discuss this. This must be a joke. You must be pranking me..." These were the words and questions I intended to ask but I was in so much shock that I couldn't mutter a word.  I cried profusely and uncontrollably. I had sent out invites to my friends and loved ones. My mum had invited all her family members as she couldn't contain the joy that her first daughter was getting married. I had told my mum that I wanted something really small but you know how mothers are, she ignored my request and went ahead to announce to the world.

It was a terrible period for me but I had to gradually move on. It was difficult! I cried every single day. I actually thought I was going to die. I was sick for days and was admitted in the hospital. I could not but think about all the plans and most importantly the fact that I thought I was getting married to the love of my life. It was when I was at the hospital that I summoned the courage to tell my mum about the break-up. She was so broken and couldn't say any word to me. She wept, I wept, we wept together for hours. She felt terrible and she blamed herself for the mishap. I told her it had nothing to do with her.  She had gotten to like him so much but then God knows best. 

How could someone move swiftly from marriage plans to not being ready to get married? If he knew he wasn't ready or interested, why did he propose? Why did he make himself known to my family? Why? Why? Why? What did I do wrong? Wasn't I good enough?. I had a lot of questions on my mind and I was not myself. 

I moved from being joyful to being sorrowful but God helped me and after a full year, I was able to fully get over it. A lot of guys kept showing interest in me during the year of my healing from an almost marriage but I just wasn't ready to be in a relationship again because I wasn't sure of what to expect. I struggled with the thought that this could happen again and so I decided it was better to remain single.

After a while, I got into another relationship and I'm not sure if it was out of desperacy but I almost made a terrible mistake...

To be continued...

Thanks for stopping by and we hope to see you next week by God's grace. God bless you and Merry Christmas in advance.

OneLove,

SomzyBrown

JUST BEFORE MY WEDDING...I HAD A PANIC ATTACK

I was at a point in my life where I almost gave up on the possibility of ever getting into a good relationship or ever getting married. A lot has happened in my life and I am not even sure of where to begin the story from. There are so many stories about the different relationships and experiences I have had but I'll share a few with you. 

I was in a relationship with this guy named X. I referred to him as the love of my life because it appeared as though God carefully and deliberately crafted him for me. He seemed to be everything I had prayed for. Obviously, he had his bad sides (everyone does) but his good sides outweighed his bad sides. We had courted for a year plus when he said he wanted to get married to me. I was so excited about this. Everyone in my family already knew him well so there was no need for further introduction. He hadn't proposed with a ring but I wasn't bothered. I wasn't bothered because I had no reason to doubt that we were going to get married to each other. Things went on quite smoothly until a month to our wedding.

Spending time with family is something that is highly important to me. The fact that I knew I was getting married soon made me want to be with my family and spend more time with them before marriage took me away from them. On one of such days, I was busy gisting with my mum when I got a call from my fiancè. I was so excited that I left my mum's presence to receive this love call from the love of my life. His voice sounded really low and I got worried about him. "Are you fine? What's wrong? Why are you sounding like this?" were some of the questions I asked. At this point, I was worried because I thought something had gone wrong with him. I loved him too much to see him downcast and I wasn't going to have it at all. 

Just as I finished asking those questions, he gave a response. "I'm so sorry that this is happening. I am truly sorry and I hope you will find a place in your heart to forgive me..."  I couldn't move my body at this point. "Was he going to tell me that he had cheated on me? It was a month to our wedding! How would I handle hearing such a thing? Or what was he about to say to me?" These thoughts ran through my head as he spoke. 

Trying to stay calm in the midst of troubles and fears has always been my strong point so at this point, I chose to stay calm. I allowed him finish what he was about to say.

"You are an amazing person and I really wanted..."

To be continued...

Thank you so much for stopping by and we hope you enjoy the rest of the week. God bless you real good.

OneLove,

SomzyBrown.

I'M NOT GETTING A DIVORCE!

 

On my way out with some of my friends, we heard some women having a conversation and one of them said “if my husband does…I will just divorce him”. This struck a conversation between us and we expressed our shock as to how nowadays people are not willing to tolerate even the littlest mistake in marriage. In the words of one of my friends, “people treat marriage like relationships”. Although relationships are not just to be broken anyhow (hence the need to be extremely careful before getting into one), a relationship can be broken. A relationship is way different from a marriage because you have not yet said “I do” to the person you are with.

Marriage is way different and it is sadly gradually becoming really trivialized. He comes back late from work and you go “I cannot deal with this” or maybe she forgets to cook for you and you go “I am tired of this woman”.  No one is trying to say that coming back late from work is good or bad but then, you cannot at the slightest mistake/error/mishap say that you want to divorce a man or a woman. The truth is that the other woman that you think will cook that food when you divorce this one or the other man you think would come back early from work when you divorce him, might do that but then they would also have areas that you are not comfortable with. So are you going to keep divorcing and remarrying? Think about this!

The problem we have nowadays is that because this divorce thing has become very common, many people (especially youths) now go into marriage with the idea that “if he/she misbehaves, I will divorce him/her”. This is a very wrong mentality and we need to be careful about this. It is wrong and highly unadviceable for you to go into a marriage with the idea behind your heart that once your partner does something wrong, you will just get a divorce. I remember a Pastor once said “My wife and I made up our minds when we got married that divorce is not an option” and this got me thinking. We can learn from this: DIVORCE SHOULD NOT BE AN OPTION and should not be the first thing we think about when something in our marriage goes wrong.

Sadly but truly, people are no longer willing to tolerate even the littlest thing and this is really bad. There are extreme cases, I agree that might warrant you making that decision and I would not go into that today. But my focus is on the fact that we need to start renewing our minds about this divorce thing. We need to start working on being patient and tolerant people and not giving up at the slightest opportunity or mistake.

If you are already married, please try not to think of divorce at the slightest opportunity. Please try to be willing to make things work no matter what it may cost you. Your marriage is not a football ground where players can just be changed anyhow. Marriage is deeper than this and so we need to be extremely careful. Please be patient! I am not in your shoes and I might not know how difficult it is for you at the moment but you can think deeply about it. Your marriage is workable! Maybe just a little patience, a little understanding will help. If you are going through this, I really pray God helps you with this and gives you wisdom.

For those of us that are not yet married, we need to consciously get this mentality out of our heads! Please do not get married to anybody with the thoughts that “if he or she makes a mistake, you will just get a divorce”. This is wrong. We have to build ourselves to the level that we become very tolerant and patient people. Marriage is the coming together of two different people from different backgrounds and sometimes with different characters. What this implies is that there would be a clash but then how you handle the clash or differences is what matters.

God’s standard has not changed and this is different from belonging to the old school or new school. God says that “He hates divorce” and so that is His standard so why do we think that being a 21st century Christian or person changes this standard? No! It does not in anyway.

I really pray for each and every one of us (myself inclusive) that God will help us to understand the real essence of marriage so that we do not take it for granted. I pray that we exhibit the fruits of the Spirit so that our marriages will be better for it. I pray for a high level of tolerance and understanding in Jesus name (Amen!)

OneLove,

SomzyBrown

DEPRESSION WAS INEVITABLE BUT...

Can I just take this moment to say thank you for supporting this vision! Thanks for coming here every Tuesday to read our blog. Some of you even go as far as sharing it with your friends and we do not take this for granted. Thank you! Thank you! One thousand tongues would not be enough to express our gratitude to you. God bless you real good. You are important, in fact VERY important to me and that's why I have to do this.

Happy new month my people. Isn't God amazing? When were we wishing each other a happy new year and now we are at the tail end of the month. Whao! God is truly amazing and we thank Him for bringing us this far. 

I really don't know how this year has been for you. I don't know the struggles that you've had, neither do I have an idea of the painful events that might have occurred in your life. Personally, this year has been a great one for me. A lot has happened (some good, some not too good) but regardless of what may have happened, I am extremely grateful to God for keeping me and standing by me. I am also very grateful to family and friends who have stood by me and have been a strong support system.

I've lost close relations and I know that some of you reading this might have gone through the same. However, I'm here to encourage you - there are still four weeks or more till the end of the year and this means that miracles, joy, favour, abundance can still occur before the year finally ends.

You may have lost out on some things or people but you did not lose out on God (I hope) and He is going to surprise you greatly. For some people, depression seemed inevitable but they came out of it by God's grace and through friends and family.

I'll like to advice that we spend the remaining days we have left, thanking and appreciating God and the people that have stood by us. Many people could have given up or gotten depressed if they had no one to cheer them up or encourage them to stay strong. No one should take this for granted. This is why I started this post by thanking you because you've been a huge part of my year and I do not take it for granted.

I hope you are able to do this. Thanks a lot for stopping by and I'll see you next week by God's grace. 

OneLove,

SomzyBrown.