YOU WERE SLIM WHEN I MARRIED YOU!!!!!

Rachael: (Puts a call across) My love, please I will like to have a conversation with you when you get home.

Gabriel: Okay, what is this about?

Rachael: I will talk to you when you get home. Have a lovely day at work and remember that I love you so much.

Gabriel: Love you too.

(Gabriel  returns from work)

Gabriel: So what is this that you want to discuss?

Rachael: (Pretending not to have heard what Gabriel said) Welcome back darling. Dinner is set.

Gabriel: Rachael I really do not have time for all these jokes. You said you wanted to talk to me about something when I got home. Now, I am home and you are not willing to say anything.

Rachael: I will talk to you about it Gabriel but I want you to have dinner first.

Gabriel: I am not interested in eating. Say what you want to say, I have other important things to attend to.

Rachael:  GA---BR-I--EL-L-L-L!!!!!!! What's going on with us? Why do you keep treating me this way? What exactly have I done to you? We used to be close but now you seem to be more far away than the east is from the west.

Gabriel: Don't be funny Rachael. You have not done anything to me and I have not changed towards you. I loved you before I got married to you and I still love you.

Rachael: What is love if the other person is unaware? What is love if it is not felt by the one you claim to love? You say you love me but you rarely  talk to me. All you do when you get home is continue from where you stopped at work!

Gabriel: I have told you - I love you and that is all that matters.

Rachael: But Gabriel you can't say that! You made a promise to love, care and take good care of me forever. This has changed! You claim to do all of this but you really do not. I agree that in the first two years of our marriage you showed me love and affection but all that seems to be gone. We used to get admired by a lot of people because of the relationship we had but now we rarely spend time together or communicate properly.

Gabriel: What else do you want from me? I provide all you need, you are living in a comfortable house, our kids go to one of the best schools in town. So what else do you want?

Rachael: Exactly my point, Gabriel. That's my exact point. Yes you provide for our needs and we appreciate you for that but is provision equal to love? You make the money available but you do not spend time with us. Your children and I need you, we don’t just need the money.

Gabriel: (Keeps quiet and concentrates on his phone)

Rachael: When last did you touch me or give me a hug? When last did you say nice things to me? When last did you even have sex with me, Gabriel? You feel you are near because of all you provide but you are so far away. I need the man I got married to 5 years ago back! I need the man who cared about everything that concerned me! I need the man who always looked forward to talking to me about everything going on in his world. This is not the man I married. I need you back Gabriel.

(Rachael begins to shed tears and sobs quietly)

Gabriel: (tries to move close to Rachael) I recognise that I have been distant and I really apologise for my distance but you also changed Rachael. When I married you, you were slim but now... I didn't know how to tell you but this affected the way I saw and treated you.

(Looking into the eyes of the wife of his youth, poured out his heart)

Gabriel: You also started paying more attention to our kids than you did to me. I mean it is good to love your kids and I love them too but I felt abandoned by you. I wanted to speak to you about it but I did not want to hurt you.

Rachael: In trying not to hurt me, you seriously got me hurt and injured. If you had spoken to me about it, I would have done something about it but you gave me the impression that I was good the way I was. I also did not want to be big but giving birth to Sharon and David caused this. I had to be there for our kids and I wanted us to both take care of them but you all of a sudden became too busy and so I had to do it all by myself.

Gabriel: I knew you could not remain the same way after giving birth to our kids but then… I am sorry Rachael. I really should have spoken to you about this. I am also Sharon and David’s father so I should have paid attention to you all. I really apologise and I hope we can make things better between us.

Rachael: I am sorry for making you feel abandoned. I will also work on my weight and try to get back in shape but hope you know that I cannot be as slim as I was when we got married?

Gabriel: (Smiling gently) I know that and I am ready and willing to help you with this.

Rachael: Moving forward, we need to communicate, we need to go out together as one family. We need to be in love once again.

OneLove,

SomzyBrown

Stop Being Old School 2

 

Seun waited for 2 more years of friendship and decided to make Tola know how much he loved her. He was unsure as to what her response would be but he was willing to give it a try. In actual fact, he was tired of suppressing his feelings.  In a solemn but assuring manner, he spoke to her. "Tola, you are an amazing person and I am blessed to have you as a friend. You've taught me a lot with your words and I have learnt a lot even from your unspoken words. I have thought deeply about this and I will like us to take this friendship beyond what it is currently...I want to be in a relationship with you".  While Seun was saying this, nervousness and uncertainty hit his head but he tried to remain calm. "Was she going to carry out her threat and stop being his friend?" He wondered.

 

 

Tola looked at Seun and although she was not going to be mean to him for expressing himself, her answer was not one that would make him happy. "Seun, I appreciate you for expressing yourself but I need to pray about this. I understand that we have been close friends for a long time but it does not mean that a relationship must come out of this. I need to be sure that this is the right thing to do. So you will need to give me time". Seun ruminating over whether or not to say anything to her or to express his shock responded by saying  "It's alright Tola. I hope to hear from you soon".

 

Seun went back to his room thinking deeply about the response Tola had given. He could not believe that she said she had to pray about whether or not to say yes to him. "I mean we are both Christians but who does that in this time and age. I agree that in 'those days', they had to pray and some even took an extra step to fast but in this present age, I do not see why it is necessary to do that. This is definitely an old school idea and I am not ready for all these unnecessary delays.

 

As earlier said, many girls were interested in Seun and although he knew that who he wanted to be with was Tola, her comment on prayer was really annoying. He really wanted to be with Tola but the whole prayer thing just made relationship more serious than it should be. "I don't think I have the time and patience to wait for her to finish praying and then maybe come back to me to give a 'No' answer.

 

Although Seun is a Christian and believes in God, he just has never gotten the idea of praying and seeking God's face on who to be in a relationship with or get married to. Tola on the other hand believes that relationships are a very important part of her life and she should not just be with any body because she thinks they are good looking. She believes that you need to ask God about whether or not to go ahead because God knows way more than anyone knows and he knows the heart of everyone.

 

So the question is this: is praying about who to be in a relationship with or who to get married to, an old school idea?

 

Thank you so much for stopping by, please drop your comments and let us know your thoughts on this. 

 

OneLove,

 

SomzyBrown

"Stop Being Old School "

Seun and Tola were close friends.  They attended the same Primary, Secondary school and University. Although they were not friends in primary school, they were friends towards the end of SS2 and this continued when they figured that they were going to be in the same University. They were extremely close and many people thought they were in a relationship but they were not. They went to school together and went home together also. Tola's parents knew Seun and His parents had become really fond of Tola. Both Seun and Tola shared a lot together and Tola had become very comfortable with Seun.

 

Tola was not necessarily someone that spoke to a lot of people. In fact some of her roommates had referred to her as being "too quiet and secretive". Although she did not see herself as all that, she also did not see a need to tell people about her personal life. "I mean why should someone want to know all about me if I really do not want to share with them" She more often than not thought to herself whenever such comments were made.

 

Seun seemed to be the only person that Tola  told a lot to and her reason for this was the fact that they both attended the same school and were fond of each other. Also the fact that she had known him for long made it easy for her to trust him according to her. The two got closer and they were seen almost everywhere together. A few people had asked them questions trying to find out if they were in a relationship. "We are just close friends, in fact more like family" Bola responded whenever she was asked about this.

 

They were in different departments in University but they had common modules/courses which they took together so they saw each other every other day. Seun was a fine boy and there was no doubt that many ladies liked him. Bola was also a very beautiful lady and guys kept asking her to get into a relationship with them. In fact whenever any guy asked her out or tried to toast her, she gave a regular response "I am sorry but it can't work." While some remained persistent, others either gave up or decided to be her friend.

 

Many of these guys thought that her response was as a result of her close friendship with Seun and some in fact theatened him to stay off her and give them a chance. He tried explaining  to many of them that Tola was his closest female friend but they were not dating. But of course, nobody believed him.

 

At the time Seun and Tola started getting really close, Tola tried to define her friendship with him and told him that they were just close friends and nothing more. She told him not to try asking her out because if he did, their friendship would be destroyed. Seun on the other hand agreed that they were just close friends but as to not asking her out, he knew that this was not an impossibility.

 

 

The closer you get as friends, the closer you want to be and this was the situation with Seun and Tola. Years had gone by so quickly and so Seun assumed that Tola's 'threat' was just because she was still young at the time. He had been battling with his feelings towards Tola but then he had to be careful because he was not ready to lose his friendship with her. He tried bringing up a conversation on relationships generally not making any reference to both of them and he got the clue that it was not something she was interested in or at least not for now. He really wanted to let her know how he felt but he was not sure it was the right thing to do.  He waited for 2 more years and decided to make Tola know how much he loved her and all.

 

What would happen? Will Tola change her mind owing to the fact that she had grown or time had passed?

 

Thank you so much for stopping by. We hope to see you next week by God's grace.

 

OneLove,

 

SomzyBrown

WHO IS MORE EMOTIONAL – THE MAN OR THE WOMAN?

The state of being emotional according to the dictionary is having strong feelings that are easily excited and openly displayed. This can be a passionate, anger, excitable, temperamental or a melodramatic feeling.

Sometimes it is stereotypical to say women are more emotional than men, but the picture in most relationships feed this stereotype. It is common knowledge that men can repress or hide their feelings or just basically deal with it while a woman wants to let it out to feel better (there are some exceptions). However, this is not to say that men are not emotional. The dynamics of relationship also affects the way emotions play out.

Men are known for trying to hide their feelings and this gives the impression that they are not as emotional as women are. However, if you look deeply, it will be seen that men are just as emotional as women. For men, showing emotions appears to be a sign of weakness and they will rather hide under the shadows of being a 'strong' man than allow a woman think they are weak. IT IS NOT ABNORMAL OR WRONG TO BE EMOTIONAL AS A MAN.

Women on the other hand, find it hard to supress or hide their feelings. They will rather say it than keep it. However, when they do not get the support they need emotionally from men, they try to chuck up their emotions and act strong. Some also use their sharp mouth (LOL) as an adaptation not to be perceived as weak.

Clearly, a woman is dfferent from a man and her expression of emotions and feelings differ from that of a man. She is not like a man and does not  have to be like him. The mistake some men make is that they expect a woman to handle things like they do but this cannot work because you are not in a competition with the woman. Let me just point here that a relationship is not and was never meant to be a competition. It is two different people with different characteristics coming together to express love and affection.

As a man, you need to love her and care about her emotions. Whenever she expresses emotions, allow her and do not judge her. As a woman, do not express shock when a man shows emotions, he is allowed to and this should not be a problem for you (even though he rarely does).

This is a call for men to develop the skills to meet the woman’s emotional needs and for women to understand that men also have emotional needs. Be emotionally available for him/her. Emotions reveal the state of the heart and how one responds to this, goes a long way in sustaining the connection to your partner and maintaining peace in your relationship.  

Like a snail, be a strong shell shelter and never expose your delicate part. She would do the same for you when you need her and he would do same when you need him.

Anonymous

So are women more emotional than men? I would say they are both emotional beings that express it in different ways.

Please kindly let us know what you think 

OneLove,
SomzyBrown.