WHEN IT SEEMS LIKE YOUR DREAM HAS COME THROUGH 3

"Tosin what's wrong? You've been acting really strange for days and you have kept me thinking about what offence I could have committed. Please talk to me, I don't think it's fair that I might have offended you and I know nothing about it." said Bimpe thinking deeply about her unknown offence. "Bimpe you have not done anything to me and you have not offended me. I have a lot on my mind and I just need time to think and make the right decisions". Tosin responded not willing to say much. "Okay can you at least share the things you have on your mind? We are going to become one soon and so we need to be able to share each other's burden. So please talk to me Tosin" Bimpe said moving closer to Tosin.

Tosin was not willing to talk but Bimpe begged him to let her know what was wrong. She was not comfortable with his sudden change towards her and really wanted to know what exactly was going on. After pleading, Tosin finally responded. "Okay Bimpe, the truth is that as much as I am happy about your job, I want you to be able to take care of me and our kids when we get married and that's why I have always encouraged you to continue with your fashion design. I am worried that you would not be take care of the home because of your job." "Tosin I understand your concerns but I don't think my job would affect us or our children. I also want to be able to take care of you and our children. We are not even married yet, neither do we have children yet. When kids come, I will decide on what to do." 

Tosin not looking happy with Bimpe's response said "I do not mean to hurt you or be selfish but I think you should quit your job and focus on your fashion design, Bimpe. I am not sure we can get married if you continue with this job. I need you to be there for me and to take care of the home." Bimpe could not believe her ears. "Tosin what did you just say? That I should do what? Well I don't want to believe that you just said that. No! This is a joke right? How will you say such a thing? We're not even married yet and my job is already a threat. What is all these? Wait, am I dreaming?"

Bimpe knew that her job was the reason for his change in mood towards her but she just could not believe that Tosin would ask her to quit her job. This is a job that she had been looking forward to, this is a job that gives her fulfilment. They are not yet married and he already wants her to quit. What is he bringing to the table? And even if he is bringing something to the table, is it enough to ask her to quit her job? Now there's a threat and Bimpe is confused on what to do. Should she save her 'almost marriage' and quit her job? Or should she call the wedding off and continue with her job? Bimpe is confused. She cannot even tell her mum about it because her mum who already sees Tosin as a blessed man and an answer to her prayers would not even believe her.

Bimpe needs your advice, so please drop your comments and thoughts here.

Thank you for stopping  by,  we hope to see you again next week.

OneLove,

SomzyBrown 

WHEN IT SEEMS LIKE YOUR DREAM HAS COME THROUGH! 2

Bimpe had been looking for a job for a long time and although she had decided to become a fashion designer, she still looked forward to getting a proper job as an accountant. She passed her ICAN exams over a year ago but had not gotten any job. Bimpe was not going to give up and so the search for a job became very important. She had spoken to Tosin about this but he told her to be calm and kept encouraging her to focus on her training at the fashion design school.

Introduction plans went on and it was soon time for the introduction proper. Bimpe's parents fixed the date and this was communicated to other family members as well as Tosin's family members. Bimpe was broke (had no money) and did not want Tosin to do everything for the introduction. She wanted to be able to support him financially. A job basically was going to make her happy because it would mean she had some money to her name. 

Bimpe went for 3 interviews before the introduction and she prayed so hard to get one of them. She liked one of the companies the most because they dealt in the area of tax which is of great interest to her. Although she was ready to accept any, she really wanted to work in the tax company.

The introduction day came and everyone was super excited. Tosin could not but appreciate God for giving him a beautiful and unique wife and Bimpe felt really blessed to have Tosin in her life.

A miracle happened after Bimpe and Tosin's introduction. Bimpe was on her way to the fashion design school when she got a call from a private number. She picked up the call which is something she rarely does and lo and behold she was informed that she had been selected as the best from the interview conducted and guess where? The Tax company!!!! She was so excited that she asked "when can I resume?" And the response was " if you're ready now, we are ready to have you."

Bimpe could not contain her joy. She had been jobless for too long and not only had she gotten a job, she had gotten the kind of job that she wanted. The first person she told was her mum. Her mum was excited and jokingly said "you see that Tosin has brought good luck" (In yoruba). Bimpe went to see Tosin that evening and shared the good news with him. "Tosin guess What? Guess what?" With all smiles Tosin said "Hmmm, you know I am bad at guessing correctly, so tell me, what is it?" "I got a job! I got a job Tosin! the one I had been praying and wishing for. I am so excited."

"Whao, I am happy for you Bimpe" Tosin said with little or no expression. "Are you really happy for me?" Bimpe asked with curiosity. "I am, don't I look happy?" "Well okay, we have to celebrate though, let's go out". Bimpe said thinking this would make Tosin happy but unfortunately it did not. Tosin remained cold.

Bimpe was getting worried that Tosin wasn't happy about her job when she thought he would be the happiest person. He was one of the reasons she wanted a job because apart from the fulfilment, she wanted to be able to bear some financial burdens with him. She started this job few days after the call and she felt really happy because she was doing what she enjoyed BUT there was Tosin who had been behaving strangely since the day she informed him about her job.  Bimpe really wanted to know what had led to this change so she fixed an appointment with Tosin. 

To be continued...

Thanks for stopping by, we hope to see you next week.

OneLove

SomzyBrown.

WHEN IT SEEMS LIKE YOUR DREAM HAS COME THROUGH!

 

"Good evening angel, you're so pretty" With a smile on Bimpe's face, she responded "Good evening and thank you" While making an attempt to continue jogging and even faster, Tosin came much closer and said "Can I have your number please?" "Hmm no I don't really give my number to strangers" "But that can change, can't it?" "Well, no it can't. Have a good day!".

On another occasion, Bimpe went out to jog and she could not believe Tosin was there again. Apparently he had been jogging in that area for over 2 years. Bimpe had just started jogging there 3 months ago. He came around her saying "Good day ma'am. Good to to see you again". Bimpe not being sure it was good to see him again replied "Good day..." Tosin not minding her response went about his aim "Well...I - I - i - guess fate has it that we should be friends. So how are you today?" "Trying to keep fit but yeah that's all." replied Bimpe. Tosin kept going on and on about how he really wanted to be her friend and finally Bimpe agreed to be his friend. They exchanged numbers and became cool friends.

Tosin and Bimpe began to talk everyday and they enjoyed each other's company. Tosin was the nicest and coolest guy Bimpe had met and she was glad she did not totally ignore him. Tosin asked Bimpe out on a date and it was a memorable one for Bimpe because she felt treated like a queen. Thinking that this was a one off behaviour and no man could be that sweet, she made up her mind not to expect anything of such from him. However, Tosin had his own expectations. Apart from being sweet, Tosin asked Bimpe to be his girlfriend. She hesitated at first but later decided to give it a trial. Bimpe had been hurt by different guys but she had made up her mind not to allow that affect her or make her single for the rest of her life.

Tosin and Bimpe got close in their relationship and everyone around really loved them for their sincerity with each other. Tosin was so much in love with Bimpe and Bimpe was also happy to have Tosin as her boyfriend. She had been in 3 relationships before Tosin and none had lasted for more than 6 months. Well this was not exactly her fault but different people with different characters was what it was and so they most times left her. Being in a relationship with someone for close to 2 years was something Bimpe never thought could happen to her. Herself and Tosin had grown together and become really fond of each other. 

Tosin always expressed his love for  Bimpe and without mincing words, he said "Bimpe you are the best lady I have ever met. You make me happy and you complete me. Will you marry me?". Tosin's proposal to Bimpe was not expected and he went all out to make the day a memorable and sweet one for Bimpe. This was really exciting for Bimpe but more exciting for her mum who had been troubling her on when Tosin will ask for her hand in marriage. 

Bimpe's mum could not contain her joy and requested to meet Tosin. Bimpe's mum is so dramatic that all she did when Tosin came to her house was pray for him. She prayed so much that Bimpe had to try to stop her reminding her that they were not yet married. She was too excited for her beloved 'Adebimpe'. Bimpe was the second girl out of four girls and she was the only one who was not married. Her mum had been praying for a man that would really take care of her and love her because Bimpe is a good girl. This explains her reaction.

Soon after, they began to make plans for introduction and it was such a happy moment.

To be continued...

Thank you for stopping by,  we hope to see you next week.

OneLove,

SomzyBrown 

WHY DO PEOPLE CHEAT??

Some of you might be wondering why this write-up is not titled "Why men cheat!"

For a long time, emphasis has been laid on the fact that men cheat and that men are the only ones that cheat in relationships. I had a discussion with some people where the ladies shared their concerns on men cheating on women. A man got angry at this and expressed his annoyance at the fact that people still think that it is only men that cheat. I was on his side and I remember saying that "as much as men cheat, women also cheat on their spouses".

The question then is Why do people cheat? What exactly leads a man or a woman to cheat on his or her spouse?

In my little experience of speaking to people, I think one thing that leads to cheating is the fact that people change and their interests change. If you have been in a relationship with someone for more than a year, you will discover that your partner is not the exact same person that he was in the first year. This is not to say that he used to be good and has now become bad. However, he or she is not the same way they used to be. Now, the moment some people begin to notice changes in their spouse, they make complaints after complaints and find ways to be happy without having to talk to that person anymore.

Change as we know is the only constant thing and it is not always negative change, it could be positive change. When the interest of a man or a woman changes, they begin to expect more from their spouse and the moment they 'think' that their spouse cannot give them what they want or what they think they need, they try to see if they can get it anywhere else. Suddenly, there might be someone out there who is ready and has the capability to give them what they want. They go for that person but try to maintain their relationship with this person. Something happens along the way, their spouse discovers and that's the end of it. 

We can go on to list different reasons why people cheat but none of these reasons make it right to engage in such act. Some people say that they never intended to cheat on their spouse but that it just happened. As much as I can agree that there was no intention, nothing just happens. You noticed when you were gradually drawing away from your spouse and moving closer to someone else. 

One vital thing that everyone needs is to be self-disciplined and to exercise self-control. It is the lack of these two things that make people cheat on their spouses. You went into that relationship or marriage being sure that you wanted to be with this person so what happened? People will always change but does that mean you should change girl friends and wives as they change? Or does it mean you should change boy friends and men as they change? No! Talk about these changes with your spouse and see how things can be better between you. The solution is never to go to someone else. When that new person changes, you will also try to move to another person and it keeps going on like that.

It is very possible to stay faithful to one man or one woman but you have to be self-disciplined and exercise self-control. The undeniable truth is that there would always be one lady or guy, woman or man who is finer, more hardworking, more romantic, more fit, more intellectual than your spouse. However, this is not a reason to cheat on him or her. Everyone in a relationship owes his or her partner every level of faithfulness. Distractions and temptations will come but remember you owe a duty of faithfulness. Everyone has the tendency to cheat because everyone has the tendency to appreciate change or something better but you know why some will not cheat? Because they have decided that no matter what happens or who they see, they will keep their focus on just one person. You can also be faithful to your spouse by choosing to stay focused and not get distracted by any other person. 

Take steps to ensure that you stay with this one person. Nobody deserves to be cheated on. Cheating is not the right thing to do and it never will be. When asked why, some say "being faithful to one girl is boring" What??? Are you being serious right Now? Some others say "I am not married yet so let me enjoy the different babes. When I am married, I won't cheat" . Sorry, say what? That is the greatest lie you can tell yourself. Whatever you do now, you will most likely do when you are married so the sooner you stopped, the better for you.

NB: The moment you begin to spend more time or share your life with someone that is not your spouse, the more far away you are from your spouse. The moment this happens, your attention becomes divided, you begin to get dissatisfied with everything he or she does and you begin to make unnecessary comparisons. It takes a conscious effort and the grace of God to stay faithful to that one man or woman and trust me, you can do it.

Thanks for stopping by, have a lovely and blessed week. 

OneLove,

SomzyBrown.