WHEN COMMUNICATION GOES WRONG...

Paul and Tessy are in a serious relationship.What do we mean by serious relationship? Well my definition of a serious relationship is that the two people involved are thinking, talking and making plans to get married. So they've gone past the stage of getting to know each other or deciding whether this relationship is for them or not. They are sure that they want to do this (get married) and plans are in order to achieve this. However Paul seems to have a little issue with Tessy.

"Tessy is a lovely person but sometimes I find it hard to believe that she's the same person when we have an issue or disagreement. Her tone changes and she sounds like she's about to eat me up for something that might be her fault. She's always willing and quick to address issues but then the way she talks when addressing these issue scares me to death..."

I read something today and I totally concur. Many times we talk about the importance of communication but we forget that that's not all that matters. The manner of communication is also very important. Some people like Paul's girlfriend are communicators (I.e. always willing to talk whenever there's an issue) but they lack proper manner of communication (the way they go about talking or addressing these issues).

You might be wondering what we mean by manner of communication and I'll give an illustration. There's a difference between "You hurt me really bad. It's not the first time it's happening and I'm not happy about it " and "You're such an annoying person. You enjoy hurting me everytime. Only irritating people do such and you'll never change". These two statements mean almost the same thing but the manner in which they are said, are different. 

The way something is said can ! be given a perfect or wrong interpretation. And so while communication in a relationship or marriage is highly important, we all need to learn how to communicate properly.

I pray that we all will make conscious efforts not just to be quick at communicating but to communicate in the right manner and with the right tone/approach.

Thank you so much for stopping by, God bless you and see you soon. 

OneLove,

SomzyBrown.

THE STRUGGLE WAS REAL BUT I SURVIVED

Dolapo grew up with three brothers and one sister. She really loved them and put in so much effort to have a good relationship with them but she was the last born. Because she was the last born child, her older siblings thought she was spoilt as she always got everything she wanted and was hardly scolded for things they got beaten for. 

Was this enough reason for her siblings not to like her? Well, to them it was. She  struggled and made numerous attempts to please them just to get in their good books but everything failed. This was a sad period for Dolapo and she had no one to talk to or express how she felt to. For no important reason, her siblings were not interested in loving her in return. The moment you give hatred an opportunity, it gets worse until you consciously withdraw the hatred.

This sour relationship continued and it became the norm. Dolapo soon got into a relationship and she couldn't tell the people that she would have loved to share it with the most. When the guy asked  for her hand in marriage, she told her siblings. She knew they were happy for her but she still couldn't feel the love. On the other hand, her husband had a sweet and lovely relationship with his siblings and she was shocked that siblings could have a lovely relationship. His siblings transferred the love to her and she was happy. 

Seeing that her husband's family was different, she made an inquiry into how they made it work between them and made up her mind to do whatever it takes to work on having a good relationship with her siblings. They are not there yet but she's not giving up.

Siblings are very important in our everyday lives and we must make conscious efforts to make this kind of relationship work. It is on this note that I introduce you to my book titled: A SIBLING'S LOVE. The hardcopy is now available for purchase. Please reach out to me on ifeoluwayimika@gmail.com if you're interested. Cheers

Thank you so much for stopping by. Have a blessed week, see you next week by God's grace.

OneLove,

SomzyBrown

WE MET IN A FUNNY WAY...

Chuks attended the same wedding that Tomide invited me to. Tomide's younger sister was getting married and so Tomide extended the invitation to few of his friends. Chuks was Tomide's colleague and very good friend. I am also Tomide's close friend. We attended the same secondary school and remained close since that time. 

There was a table reserved for Tomide's friends (as per big brother duties) and it so happened that Chuks and I sat next to each other. We chatted all through the wedding and I believed in my heart that I had found an amazing friend in Chuks. Our chats did not end at the wedding, we exchanged numbers and continued after the wedding. 

I had suddenly gotten attached to Chuks that if a day went by without talking to him, it felt like something was missing. We are still good friends till date and guess what? We got married to each other.

I shared the above story to encourage us to be open this year. Please be open to friendships and meeting people no matter how random because you never know which relationships would lead to your miracle. Not all meetings like this will lead to marriage but we all need to decide to be open. It's not all about getting married but about building relationships. You can meet people anywhere and under any unexpected circumstance so let's be open. 

To give more insight, Jennifer was served breakfast few weeks to Tomide's sister's wedding. She was really sad and bitter about it because she was hopeful that things would work between her and her ex-boyfriend but she was wrong. While trying to heal, she made up her mind to stay away from guys/men. She had made plans to just attend and leave the wedding after a few hours to continue in her sober mood but then she met Chuks. 

Imagine if she had allowed her experience rob her of the lovely relationship with Chuks. So you just never know. Make friends, be open and don't carry issues on your head. Everything will be fine las las.

Thanks for stopping by, God bless you all. We'll see soon by God's grace.

OneLove,

SomzyBrown.

NO MATTER WHAT THEY SAY...

There was a time when I heard about 2022 and thought to myself "the year is still far" but guess what? That year that seemed so far away has now come to us and is right in our faces. 

Let me use this opportunity to wish you a happy new year. I thank God for the amazing things that occurred in 2021 and I'm so full of hope at the mighty things that He will do this year. I pray that in this year, you'll experience favor like never before. You'll experience God's mercy in every area of your life in Jesus name.

For those believing God and hoping to get married this year, I pray that God brings the right woman/man your way and that you'll testify. It is my prayer that you won't settle for less (i.e. just anyone) because of pressure from family and friends but you'll meet the right person for you and with joy you both will plan to get married.

No matter what anyone says to you, please choose to stay positive and hopeful this year.  For your testimony will come but you have to do something first - DO NOT GIVE UP OR LOSE FAITH! You might be saying "Hmmmm...it's easier said than done" but please just try it out and see. You'll be glad you stayed positive and hopeful this year.

Also please do not allow anyone especially family members put any form of pressure on you. At the end of the day, you won't be able to put the blame on them cos you had a choice to make. Trust God to lead you and He surely will. 

Stay away from any negative thoughts or conversations saying all sorts which are against your desire and God's desire for you. Trust God to come through for you and He surely will.

Remember that there's no one without flaws or imperfections but ensure that he/she's imperfection is one that you can manage or cope with.

God will guide you all through this year in Jesus name. He'll connect you to the right people in every sphere of your life in Jesus name.

Thanks for stopping by once again and happy new year to you and yours. God bless you real good.

OneLove,

SomzyBrown