Ruth continued speaking:
The Psychiatrist made me realise that because of the events that took place during my childhood, I felt that I wasn't good enough if someone (a man) had not said that to me. She walked me through self-love and adviced that I begin to love myself, understand myself and enjoy my company.
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Although there are many reasons why relationships fail, I'll like to discuss one important one which is lack of SELF-LOVE. Many people seem to struggle with this and it could be the major reason Sharon was upset. Self-love means loving yourself but more than that, it means not looking for satisfaction from someone else. Part of self-love includes enjoying your company. Enjoying your company doesn't mean you shouldn't have friends or get into a relationship. Not at all! I'm an advocate for relationships so I cannot advice otherwise. However, when you are in a relationship, you shouldn't allow the presence or absence of your partner dictate your happiness. Even while in a relationship, you must be able to enjoy your own company.
Self-love helps you discover who you truly are - your likes, dislikes, hobbies, activities etc. You must be able to discover these things and love yourself for who you are if you must succeed in a relationship. It is very okay for your partner to compliment and validate you (in fact, this is highly recommended) but you must be able to do this to yourself as well such that when your partner doesn't, you are not downcast or sad.
Have you ever looked into the mirror and told yourself how beautiful or handsome you are? Have you ever commended yourself for being so hardworking and committed to the things that matter to you? Have you ever told yourself how lucky your partner is to have you in his or her space? If your answer to these questions are in the negative, please you need to begin to change that.
Self-love is not an avenue to be lackadaisical, rather it is an avenue to love yourself and be sincere with yourself. This means that you cannot only claim the positive side of self-love, you must be willing to discover the negative side and improve on such areas.
Informing your self of the areas you need to work on and taking feedbacks on such areas is good but do not dwell on any negativity please. Take feedbacks from yourself and others but move on quickly even while working on those areas that are necessary for your growth.
If you can succeed in loving yourself, knowing yourself and working on yourself, you would not be a burden to your partner when he or she comes into your life. Also when your partner isn't giving you the attention you deserve like Sharon, instead of mourning, you will be able to love yourself and enjoy your company.
Thank you so much for stopping by and we hope to have you here next week. We hope this write-up was useful to you in some way. Please share and leave your comments. Thank you and God bless you.
OneLove,
SomzyBrown.
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