GIRLFRIEND ALLOWANCE - YAY OR NAY?

Sometime ago, I had a conversation with some young people and one of the things that was discussed had to do with ‘giving’ and ‘receiving’ of gifts.

“I got into a relationship with someone I really loved and because I loved her, I could do almost anything for her. I love to give gifts, especially to someone I really love and so this was a reoccurring event for me. Many times, I could just see something really nice and decide to get it for her, this was not a big deal at all. There was a day, I saw a beautiful shoe and without thinking twice, I decided to get it for her because I thought she would like it. She did like it and I felt really happy. Buying things for a girl that I love is not a problem but the annoying aspect is that this never happens or rarely happens to me. Is there a taboo for ladies to give gifts to guys?” Mr. S said

Now this question got me thinking deep. Is there really a taboo for a lady to buy a gift for a guy? My answer to this was no! “I do not think there is a taboo for ladies to get things for guys but I just think that many ladies have gotten so used to being on the receiving end that they find it difficult to give gifts to guys that they love or that they are in a relationship with” I replied. 

“Okay, I am glad you have a different view concerning this because many ladies (at least the ones I have spoken to) have the opinion that it is the duty of guys to always buy gifts and they (ladies) have no part to play in that” he said.

After establishing the fact that the giving of gifts should be reciprocal (i.e. ladies should be able to give guys gifts as well), something else came up and this had to do with the fact that he had experienced ladies always asking for things from guys. This is different from getting gifts because when you get a gift for someone, you most times do this without the person asking for it. “Why do some ladies think that it is the responsibility of a guy that they are in a relationship with to always get them stuff? I can decide to get you things but you shouldn’t make it seem like it is my duty to always get you things.”

While he was saying this, I knew that he had had some very bad experiences and that was why he spoke the way he spoke but then my question to him was “is it then wrong for a lady you are in a relationship to ask you for something she knows that you are capable of giving to her?”. “No that is not my point” he replied. “A lady can ask, in fact anyone can ask for something from the other person but this should not be an ‘everytime’ thing. Asking for things every single time is draining and for crying out loud, this person is just your boyfriend and not your father. It is the responsibility of a father to care and provide for your needs so do not make your boyfriend one.”

To be continued...

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OneLove, 

SomzyBrown.