MY EX WANTS US TO REMAIN FRIENDS

Rachael and Gabriel were in a relationship for 3 years. They had a good relationship and everyone admired what they had. However, somethings came up and they had to break up the relationship. It was painful for both of them but they had to go their separate ways. Some years later, Gabriel found someone that he really loved and they got married.

Ever since Gabriel and Rachael broke up, Gabriel made attempts to be friends with her but she vehemently refused to be his friend. Although he is married now, he still likes her but as a friend and nothing more. Rachael doesn't have a specific reason why she doesn't want to remain friends with Gabriel but she just feels it is not right to.

If you were Rachael, what would you do?

The truth is that the answer to this question is individualistic as opposed to a generalistic. It is peculiar to each person and we cannot give a general answer. While some people are comfortable with being friends with their ex boyfriend or girlfriend, some others will forbid it. It is okay not to be comfortable with being friends with your ex and it is also not bad to be friends with your ex.

One major thing to ensure is that you have completely healed from the hurt and you are in a good place (if at all you want to consider it). There are so many things to put into consideration and ask yourself:

•  Have you healed completely from the hurt you felt when you broke up?

• Are you still attracted to this person such that if you become friends again, you might not be able to control yourself around him or her?

• Was the previous relationship an abusive or toxic one?

• Have you forgiven him or her for whatever he or she did?

• If you're in a new relationship or marriage, does your partner feel threatened or does your partner feel uncomfortable with such friendship?

• Does this person remind you of things that you will rather not remember?

• Are there positive benefits to being friends with this person?

• Do you like this person as a friend and wouldn't want to destroy the friendship?

The above questions are non-exhaustive but might aid in making the decision on whether to be friends with your ex or not.  You know yourself better than anyone else and so you are in the best position to determine if it is okay to remain friends with your ex. 

Please remember not to compare yourself to your friends or other people. The fact that your friends are comfortable being friends with their exes doesn't mean that you should. Find out what's best for you and be sincere with yourself.

Thank you so much for stopping by and please drop your comments. Have a blessed and fulfilled week. God bless you.

OneLove, 

SomzyBrown.