Biola and Bukky met at a marriage conference recently and after the conference, they decided to talk about one of the points that the speakers raised and this led to them sharing their experiences.
Bukky has been married for 2 years. She is not really a sex person but 85% of the time when her husband initiates it, she ensures that she responds because she knows how important it is to him. However, her husband complains that she doesn't initiate sex even though he knows that it is not really her thing. According to her "I try to make it very interesting for him by spicing it up with....but he still feels that it is wrong for me not to initiate sex."
Bukky used to be terrible at responding to the sexual requests of her husband because as said above, she is not a sex person. This became a big problem and they had to seek help from a marriage counselor who told her that it was her responsibility to satisfy her husband even when she is not in the mood. The counselor told her almost the same thing that Femi told Dayo and she decided to make conscious efforts to satisfy her husband and not reject his sexual requests. On the issue of not initiating, the counsellor made Bukky's husband realise that not everyone is the same and as such it could be hard for Bukky to initiate since it is not really her thing.
Biola on the other hand has been married for five years but her story is quite different. Her husband and herself are not really into sex and so it only occurs once in a while for them. Her husband has been crucified by his friends because they believe that every man LOVES sex and every man must LOVE it. At the beginning of their marriage, she noticed this and felt something was wrong with both of them. They are a happy couple and they do other things together. In fact, a day does not go by without them giving each other a kiss and talking deeply about how much they love each other but sex occurs once in a while because it is not really their thing.
As couples, it is highly necessary that we know what is very important to our spouse because that is the only way that we can satisfy them and make them happy. When Dayo's wife initiates sex, he is expected to respond with open arms because by doing that he is satisfying his wife. The same thing applies to ladies. Dayo's case is very uncommon (because many MEN love sex and request for it) and so most times it is the man who initiates when it comes to sex and he should not be deprived. In my opinion, I do not think it is wrong that Dayo's wife initiates sex almost all the time. I also do not think that there is something wrong with Dayo because he doesn't love sex.
Bukky is expected to agree to her husband's request for sex so as to satisfy him. It is also important that her husband knows what to do to satisfy her. Sex is just one of the ways spouses get satisfied (as discussed last week). Also, I do not think it is wrong if both a husband and a wife are not really into sex. What matters is that they know what and how to satisfy each other.
Please drop your comments below and let us know if you have any thoughts on this.
Thank you so much for stopping by and we hope to see you next week.
OneLove,
SomzyBrown
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