Femi and Dayo have been friends for a while now and they share a lot about their lives. On one of the days that Femi visited Dayo, he noticed that Dayo's wife wasn't looking happy and entertaining as she always is. Based on the relationship and friendship that they share, Femi decided to ask for what the problem was. Dayo couldn't really say much because they were in his house but the moment he saw Femi off, he poured out his heart to his friend. " ...Guy you know I am not really a sex person and I have never been but my wife is and this has caused a lot of problems for us. I do not hate her but I just do not really like sex. I have been thinking about it and it seems like I have a problem but I have come to realise that sex is not a thing for every man" said Dayo.
This topic is centred around the married people but I believe that it is a discussion that everyone (married and single) can learn from because all or many would get married someday. Some months ago, we talked about different love languages and how that everyone is expected to know the love language of their spouse and ensure that they feed the love language of him/her. One of the love languages has to do with physical touch and sex is a major part (chairman) of physical touch...
"I understand you Dayo but please if your wife is a sex person, you have to give her what she wants because if you don't, it means that you are starving her of what really matters to her and that's not good at all. Let me ask you a question- does she initiate sex? If yes, when she does do you push her away or what do you do? Femi adviced and asked his friend. "Well, because I am not really into it, she is the one who initiates it 90% of the time and really I must confess, I turn her away many times." Dayo responded.
"Ha Dayo!!!!!! That's very bad and poor of you o. If the tables were turned and your wife rejects your sex initiation or pushes you away when you demand sex, how will you feel? Won't you feel dejected and rejected? And wouldn't you feel that she does not value your marriage because of that? Please don't do that again, my friend. This is one of the things that could lead to the end of a marriage. It is wrong to deprive your spouse of something just because that thing is not very important to you"
Dayo began to realise that he had been acting really badly to his wife. He thanked his friend for being real and sincere with him and there and then assured Femi that he would never turn down his wife's requests and sex initiation. He said it was going to be tough but he would make conscious efforts not to. Dayo further said he was not sure about initiating because it is not really his thing but that he would ensure he does not say no to his wife again.
Dayo has been crucified by some other men for not being a sex person because these men believe that EVERY man loves sex and it is impossible that Dayo doesn't.
What do we think about this? Is it true that all men MUST love sex and if a man doesn't, does it make him less of a man?? Is it also an abomination for a woman to be the one who loves sex and is it wrong that she initiates it almost all the time?
We shall continue next week but before you go, please drop your comments. Thanks a lot for stopping by.
"Ha Dayo!!!!!! That's very bad and poor of you o. If the tables were turned and your wife rejects your sex initiation or pushes you away when you demand sex, how will you feel? Won't you feel dejected and rejected? And wouldn't you feel that she does not value your marriage because of that? Please don't do that again, my friend. This is one of the things that could lead to the end of a marriage. It is wrong to deprive your spouse of something just because that thing is not very important to you"
Dayo began to realise that he had been acting really badly to his wife. He thanked his friend for being real and sincere with him and there and then assured Femi that he would never turn down his wife's requests and sex initiation. He said it was going to be tough but he would make conscious efforts not to. Dayo further said he was not sure about initiating because it is not really his thing but that he would ensure he does not say no to his wife again.
Dayo has been crucified by some other men for not being a sex person because these men believe that EVERY man loves sex and it is impossible that Dayo doesn't.
What do we think about this? Is it true that all men MUST love sex and if a man doesn't, does it make him less of a man?? Is it also an abomination for a woman to be the one who loves sex and is it wrong that she initiates it almost all the time?
We shall continue next week but before you go, please drop your comments. Thanks a lot for stopping by.
OneLove,
Somzybrown.
Great write up. Thanks
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