We welcome you to the last part of Mr. Leke Alder's interesting and real write-up. I hope we have enjoyed it so far. Please follow through till the end as he has a lot more insights below. Can I just plead with you to read the previous 2 episodes so that you have a fair understanding on what this write-up is about.
Do these things apply to boyfriend/girlfriend relationship? Can they be adapted? First you have to note the Bible has no protocol for boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. The Bible has a protocol for marriage not boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. Even the concept of engagement in modern society is radically different from what obtained in Bible times. The betrothal of Joseph to Mary is not the same as engagement in modern society. In Jewish society betrothal is more or less marriage. The Bible didn’t say Joseph and Mary broke up. It says he wanted to divorce her quietly. Matthew 1:19 AMP. All we can do therefore is extrapolate principles from extant writing and follow the omnibus Bible recommendation that wisdom is profitable.
So here’s some wisdom:
The starting point of a successful marriage is the right choice of partner. A right choice of partner will factor in those three clusters – friendship and romance, dutifulness and responsibility, sensuality and sexuality. You must ask yourself pertinent questions on each cluster:
a. Sensuality and Sexuality Cluster: Do I like how she looks, do I like how he looks? Am I attracted to him (or her) physically? Can I imagine sleeping with him (or her)?
This vitiates the theology God can tell you to marry anybody, even people you’re not attracted to. Why would God do that! Is he a sadist? If you want to know the danger in that philosophy read the story of Leah and Jacob.
b. Friendship and Romance Cluster: Can we be friends… Go out together, gist, feel comfortable with each other?… Can I go to socials with him or her?
c. Dutifulness and Responsibility Cluster: Can he take care of me and the children? Will she take care of me? Does he have a job? Is he responsible? Is he using me? How well does he handle money? Can I trust him? Does he care about me?
These are pertinent questions. If you don’t ask them you will meet the answers in marriage.
Friendship and romance is personality based. Personality matters. Sensuality and sexuality is culture based. Cultural alignment matters. Dutifulness and responsibility is character based. Character matters. Don’t use wrong parameters for marital choices, and don’t abdicate responsibility for marital choice to a spiritual authority. She’s a wonderful church worker… He’s a good usher… She’s in children’s church… She can sing! These are not marriage qualifications, they’re church volunteer qualifications. You can’t abdicate responsibility for marital choice to your pastor. How can your pastor know you more than you know you? How can he know the secret longings of your heart, your fantasies?
That’s not saying don’t ask for advice from your pastor but don’t put the responsibility of choice on him. Take responsibility. There’s not one instance of marriage divination in the New Testament. None in the Old Testament either.
We hope you all enjoyed the read for the past 3 Tuesdays. It's been really insightful for me and I hope it was for you. Thanks a lot for stopping by and we shall see you next week by God's grace.
OneLove,
SomzyBrown
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