"THE THINKING PROCESS"

Dorcas and Gabriel are two lovely and wonderful people. In fact, mere taking a look at them, you can almost tell that they were made for each other. They love each other so much and to a large extent, they understand themselves. However something seems to be of great concern to Dorcas. Dorcas is an introvert but when she gets very comfortable with a person, it would amaze you, the amount of words that can come out of her mouth. All women or almost all women like attention but women who are introverts have been shown to seek more attention and this is because their spouses become the only person they feel they can talk to about any and almost everything.

Dorcas always wants to and in fact looks forward to talking to Gabriel but Gabriel takes his time to respond to her (I.e. he doesn't respond in a way that she would expect him to). She does not understand why he has to go quiet whenever she is talking to him. Sometimes he acts like he is not listening and then after a few minutes, he responds to what she has said at which time Dorcas would have moved on from what she said. Dorcas feels Gabriel ignores her a lot especially when she needs his attention and she is very unhappy about it. She has tried speaking to him about it but whenever she does, he says "I do not and will never ignore you, its just that many times, it takes a while to process the information you have given". This does not make sense to Dorcas and she does not know what to do.

This takes me to the question: how many ladies hear this statement a lot of times "I need to process what you just said." "I need time to think" or "I am listening to you why don't you believe me?"

Although some of us think that men are just being really funny or dramatic when they make the above statements but really, that is the way they are wired. Is it very annoying to talk to someone about something and wait for donkey years for his response to come? Yes! But is that the way men are wired? Yes! So what do we do?

We need to understand first of all that the same way women are different from men is the exact same way men are different from women. Lots of things run through the mind of a man and as much as he might be listening to you, he is processing the information in order for him to come up with the best response. This is who they are and we need to be understanding.

Also men, you need to try to reduce this processing period. It is not all everything that she tells you that really requires you to go through the thinking process. Please let us strike a balance so that your woman does not get the impression that she is not important.

Thank you so much for stopping by. We hope to see you next week.

OneLove,

SomzyBrown