I thought that was the end until he again asked me to come closer to him which I vehemently refused. He forcefully pulled me close and began to touch my breast and other private parts of my body. I wanted to scream aloud but I remembered that my younger sisters were sleeping. As if he knew what was on my mind, he immediately took a scarf that was lying on the chair and used it to cover my mouth.
I was clueless as to what to do and I was so scared. "What if he did something worse?" I continually tried to force myself out of his ugly arms but he was obviously stronger than I was. I prayed silently that this will come to an end but it looked very impossible. "Can someone just come home right now?" It was an impossibility for dad to come home at that time but I prayed within me that such miracle would happen. The fear of what he could do got me thinking. This was a horrible feeling.
As if the harrasment was not enough, he forcefully had sex with me. He made me lay down on the chair and began the process. This was the worst thing that had ever happened to me. I could not even imagine that I had become a victim of rape. I cried my eyes out while he felt really fulfilled. I might not be able to go into details of all that happened to me afterwards and how he tried to clean up the mess but I know that I did not remain the same from that day.
This incident affected me greatly and I could talk to nobody about it. I felt ashamed of myself even though I knew it was not my fault. The sight of him became extremely irritating. "Is this the same Uncle that I once trusted and cherished? How could he think of doing this to me?" Different thoughts ran through my mind.
I wanted to talk to my mum about the incident but I did not know how to. I told her to stop allowing him pick us up from school or stay with us at home alone but she refused to listen to me because I could not give a reason for my suggestion. She later noticed that I was beginning to create distance between myself and uncle Chinedu and everytime she asked for what the matter was, I shyed away from it.
Although it never happened again and mum never got to know, the whole experience with Uncle Chinedu toiled with my mind and my psychology. I could no longer trust anyone. Seeing a man was a damaging sight because Uncle Chinedu seemed to be the definition of a man. This experience has made it impossible for me to have a conversation with guys/men or even talk about them. I believe I have lost my capacity to love or even be loved because of this ugly experience. I have kept this to myself for so long and I feel better being able to share this. Sharing my story, however does not mean that I have overcome but hopefully (some day), I will see myself as that person that can love or be loved.
Thanks for staying with us on this! We hope to see you soon.
OneLove,
SomzyBrown
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