The idea of getting married was one that always got me happy. I looked at my friends make the decision to get married and I was really excited. I got invited to a lot of weddings both by close friends and not so close ones. I loved and enjoyed celebrating with my friends and loved ones, I mean what else could I possibly do. I cannot count the number of bridal trains that I have been on and the number of people that I have been chief bride's maid for. In fact I got to plan some of my friends wedding and I was happy. All of these was so much fun to me at the time but the same cannot be said right now.
It was my birthday last week and guess what? I turned 32! It immediately dawned on me that I am not getting younger anymore. I have a slim and small body accompanied with a baby face and to be honest, maybe that has contributed a great deal to my not realising that time is ticking and I am not getting younger anymore. I began to look deeply and think about my life and I discovered that all my close friends and people I grew up with are married. I am happy for them but I cannot stop thinking about my life and why I have to be the odd one out. Sometimes I wonder if there is a problem with me but what can I do? It is what it is!
I really want to get married but it does not seem like a possibility right now. Nobody seems to be interested in me and I really wonder why. It's not like no one has shown interest in me, it is just that the ones that have shown interest in me do not seem serious to me. Now don't get me wrong! Some people think I am too picky but I do not think I am. Yes, I want to get married but then I would not just jump at anyone who shows an interest in me. I almost made that mistake once and I do not want to make it again, I will rather chill than jump at it even though I really want it.
There was a time I thought it was time and it had to happen at that time and with that person. I met this guy at one of my friend's wedding and we got talking. I really liked him and of course he liked me very well. We got really close but all along I knew that we had different values and there was going to be a clash. Sometimes I had to bend my values to please him and sometimes he bent his to please me. Apart from the clash in values, we were cool but the fact that there is a clash in values, isn't that a big issue in itself? These clashes are not minor ones but very serious ones.
He had talked about marriage but I was not sure I wanted to get married to someone that I will always have a clash with. It was hard to accept but I knew that things could not work. My thought was "would we have to do this everytime if we get married?" My core values define me. I believe in making compromises but not when such compromise will greatly affect your person. My values were and are still very important to me.
I shall continue with my story next week but what do we think? Should you trade your values because you want to get married? Please leave your comments.
Anonymous
Thank you so much for stopping by, we hope to see you next week.
OneLove,
SomzyBrown
I think values are so important to us as humans and when we keep bending them, we lose a sense of ourselves and we become resentful and bitter. So yeah, chill rather than settle
ReplyDeleteWhao! This makes so much sense. Hopefully the lady and others in the same shoes can learn from this.
DeleteThank you for stopping by.
i strongly agree with Ruth. your values defines you. compromising your values affects ones self worth especially if that is done over and over.
ReplyDeleteyea its human to compromise sometimes especially when we think its for greater good. however i have realized that the ability to say NO and and stand by it is a VIRTUE.
on the other hand, i also know that our values change as we grow and get more knowledge of some things. so while try to uphold the values, be careful to still be flexible and accept change when necessary.
I like the part of accepeting change but when necessary. Thank you so much for stopping by and leaving a comment. I hope we all learn from this.
DeleteValues are powerful tools that responsible people should possess. In fact, what we value so much is the singular picture people frame around us. Be that as it may, marriage comes with several "value shaking" challenges as I have seen personally in many marriages. The reality in marriage is that these values becomes "theoretical" as it will appear that your love your husband or wife must take precedence over your values because these values cannot always be synonymous between couples. The values changes when you are married. In response to the lady who is 32 at the moment, it could perhaps be that the self-claimed values could have an undertone of self-pride, quick to conclude kind of personality, or even repulsive attitudes. I'll stop here by saying that there is nobody, regardless of how old or young that will not have to let go of one or two things when the matter of marriage is of utmost concern for the person. And I believe personally that there is nobody out there that doesn't have a soul-mate, in fact there are many soul-mates, but then, it is important to be flexible as the previous commentator has said.
ReplyDeleteIndeed! Very apt. Thanks so much.
DeleteWe might need to take things easy especially in marriage. God help us