There is always a tendency to have a close friend whom we are comfortable with and who we can share things with. Many times, regardless of the kind of conversation(s) or event(s) that bring us close, friendships sometimes end up developing into something really great. Looking back at our lives, we will realize that many of the best buddies we have today started through growing up together or bonding; through school activities or meeting at functions or business gathering or events which ended up becoming a good foundation through which we made best friends or best buddies.
Although these best buddies do not necessarily have to be involved in each other’s day to day events nor speak all the time, important decisions or acts cannot or might not be taken without involving them. The closeness we are referring to is not necessarily restricted to people of the same sex. It also applies to people of the opposite sex and this leads us to our main focus in this write-up.
A friend of mine once had a best friend and these two were very very close. They shared almost everything they had and could practically talk to each other about every and anything. They had both decided that nothing was going to go on between them (i.e. relationship) but they made the decision to remain best friends. Despite being close friends, they were not romantically involved but they were extremely close.
She knew almost every member of his family and he also knew every member of her family. The lady however got into a relationship. Before this happened, she discussed everything with her best friend and so he knew about her decision to get into a relationship. In fact, he advised her on the things to do and the things not to do. She was not willing to lose someone that had been her best friend for years and so she held on to the guy as her best friend.
Her boyfriend definitely got to meet his girlfriend's 'best friend' as expected and he duly observed the closeness. In the course of the relationship, he discovered the closeness and attachments involved between/among the friends and he began to get extremely jealous (I really do not blame him for this though). This jealousy got really bad and led to the shaking of the table thereby causing a rift in the relationship.
He spoke to her about this but for a reason best known to her, she did not see anything wrong in trying to keep her boyfriend as well as her close friend. According to her "they are two different people, playing different roles in my life and so I really do not understand why my boyfriend should be jealous. My best friend has been there for more than 5 years but my boyfriend just came into my life, why should I leave the former for the latter?"
They repeatedly discussed this issue because he felt her attention was divided but instead of getting a positive result, it led to series of terrible arguments which finally resultied to the boyfriend asking her to choose between himself and the close friend.
My question now is, IS IT IDEAL OR MORALLY RIGHT TO MAINTAIN A CLOSE FRIENDSHIP WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX DESPITE BEING IN A RELATIONSHIP??
Written by Tobiloba.
Thanks for stopping by. We hope to see you next week by God's grace.
OneLove,
SomzyBrown.
I feel you should be in a relationship with someone that’s your best friend so if she is that close to someone else then she should probably look at that guy again and be sure they truly have no feelings or can potentially have no feelings
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with you Ruth. If the person you are in a relationship with does not qualify to be your best friend, then why are you with that person? You can keep your close friends but efforts must be made to make this person your best friend because whether you like it or not, your attention would be divided. Thank you so much for stopping by and leaving a comment.
DeleteIt is not ideal to maintain a close friendship with the opposite sex because of the rift which it will cause just as this evidently played out in the story told here. If the story is reversed and it is the lady that is jealous of a guy's best friend, the story will even be worse. If you value your relationship especially the kind of relationship that has marriage in view, you will save yourself and your partner by making your best friend realize that you are still best of friends but that you will not allow your relationship to be marred by your closeness. If that friend is reasonable enough, he will understand that things cannot always be thesame again.
ReplyDeleteI agree Femi. For ladies and for guys, it is not adviceable. You cannot afford to destroy your relationship because you have and want to protect your best friend.
DeleteThank you so much for stopping by and leaving a comment.
its simple, if you choose to maintain that closeness with best friend, you will loose your relationship and finally when the best friend finds his own relationship he will surely leave you alone to attend to his relationship because his woman will not tolerate that closeness between the two of you. then you will be left with nothing.
ReplyDeletebe wise. you can still be friends but not as close.