So I have been thinking about this for a while and I thought I throw it open to you all. How much of your life and the events that have occurred, should you disclose to your spouse or partner? Should you disclose everything? Or should you rather keep somethings to yourself and disclose others? How careful should you be about the things that you disclose to your spouse?
Full disclosure is the willingness not to hide anything from your partner while partial disclosure is deciding to say somethings but hide somethings. Full disclosure could be in relation to events that have occurred in the past but it also has to do with the decision to be open to your spouse in the future.
While it is the argument of some people that there should be full disclosure in marriage, others are of the opinion that even in marriage, full disclosure is not necessary. Some others opine that there should be full disclosure in marriages as well as relationships. These views are as a result of the different experiences that such people have had personally or from other people's experiences.
Full disclosure is highly advisable but the following must be noted:
1. For every action, there is always a reaction and consequence. Are you ready to handle the consequences of your actions? Are you ready to handle the reaction of your partner?
2. Trust - How well do you trust your partner to disclose the information to him/her? How well do you trust him/her to manage and handle the information?If you trust your partner to deal with and handle the disclosure well, then go ahead but if not, be wise as to how you go about it.
3. How matured is your partner to handle the depth and weight of the information involved? How does he/she react to regular activities or information?
4. How understanding is your partner when it comes to issues and your views?
5. What is the spiritual belief of your partner? If the relationship is from God and he/she understands the spiritual protocols, this will go a long way in determining the level of disclosure and how he/she will handle it.
Half disclosure is not exactly adviceable for the following reasons:
1. Distrust - your partner finding out something that he/she ought to have known or something that you should not have hesitated to tell him/her, could lead to distrust. He/she may not be able to trust you again and this is due to the fact that you hid an information that he/she ought to have known. Some people when they make the decision to hide somethings say that they are doing it for their partners - they want to save him or her from any emotional stress that the disclosure might cause. This reason is however not sufficient enough.
2. Creates insecurity - the fear of what your partner will do if he finds out from another person or even from you could make you really insecure. You do not need such insecurity as you both are supposed to work and walk together in love and not in fear. Also your partner could feel insecure as he or she will be unsure as to the other things that might be revealed in the course of the relationship or marriage.
3. Leads to breakdown of communication - failing to disclose facts to your partner could lead to loss of communication. It may not happen immediately but as time goes on, there is a tendency that the communication which exists will break down. You really do not want to lose communication with your partner because communication is one of the major rocks of a relationship and marriage.
4. More non-disclosure: when you fail to disclose one thing and you do not feel bad about it, you get tempted to keep doing it and as such there will be more non-disclosure which will gradually and might likely break down the marriage or relationship.
So the Question now is: full disclosure or partial disclosure? Are the consequences for this too high to pay or otherwise??
Please kindly drop your comments and let us know what you think. Thank you so much and have a blessed week.
OneLove,
Somzybrown
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