DO NOT ALLOW INSANITY CREEP IN... 2

In order to heal quickly, I would recommend that you get occupied with something you really love to do. This is not to say that this will work like magic but the truth is that if you give something your attention, you get a result from it. If you give more attention to your work, you get good results from it. If you give your break-up situation all your attention, then you get a result from it. However this result will most likely not be a good one. The result will be more hurt that might even lead to hatred. You really do not want to get to that point because it is not good to ‘hate’ anyone. So why don’t you get busy? If your mind is on other things, the easier it becomes for you to easily let go. It is a gradual process but you will surely get there.

When you break up or go through a heart break you become really vulnerable and as a result you might just run into the arms of anyone that stretches such arm to you. I understand that you might need someone to talk to but please be careful. Not everyone that stretches a hand of help while you are going through this phase is meant to be a part of your life. There is a tendency to go with someone who stays with you while you are hurting but does this make you compatible or does it make it right? Not necessarily. You need time to think properly and a few days after a breakup or heartbreak is not sufficient time to think. You cannot afford to rush into making a decision at this stage because it might not be right.

I know of someone who after she broke up with her boyfriend, immediately got close to someone and in less than a month or so she got into a relationship with that person. They broke up and then a close friend was really there and so she got into a relationship with him as well. This is not a joke, it really did happen.  If one is not careful, it will keep going round like that.  I do not blame this lady or anyone that might find his/herself in such a situation. However, I will advice against it. The fact that you are vulnerable should make you extremely careful. People might be there to help you go through that phase but you do not need to be in a relationship with them. You need to take your time to think because you do not want to make a mistake again.

There is a need for reevaluation and this is not something that is popular especially in our generation. We live in a ‘blame-society’ and this does not help matters sometimes. People try to point fingers at who committed a wrong instead of thinking about what can be done better by them  subsequently. When a break-up happens, regardless of who broke up, it is important to analyse the situation. What did you do wrong or what are those things that you could have done better? If you are able to do this as against wallowing in self-pity or blaming someone else, you will certainly be a better person.

It is also a time to develop yourself. No one is perfect and so there is always some work to be done. There are some bad characters that need to be changed and there are some good characters that need to be developed. You should not only recognize the wrong or bad characters but make haste to work on them and change for the better.  Read books, speak to people, learn from people’s mistakes. Experience is the best teacher but it does not have to be your personal experience. You can learn from those around you. I always tell God to please take away anything in me that my husband and children should not meet in my life and to also take anything in him (my husband) that my children and I should not meet in his life. This is because I desire to be the best to my husband and children. However, I am not praying alone, I am certainly developing myself and learning how to be the best. Prayers get answered but there is also some personal work and development to be done. Self-development can never be too much.

We hope to see you next week as we continue with this.

OneLove,
SomzyBrown.