Hi guys,
Welcome to this new week. How is the new year coming up for us? I trust God to make it the greatest year that we have ever experienced.
Two weeks ago, I promised to write about an interesting topic but I could not do that due to the fact that last week was the first week of the year and there was a need for encouragement.
I am sure you are wondering what this topic is about. From the story of Folarin and his babe, it could be seen that a lot of people go through heart breaks. Now you know what this is about (smiles).
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When people break up, does it mean that both parties are guilty? Not necessarily, I will say. The truth is that sometimes both parties are guilty but at other times, it could be that one party has done something extremely wrong and terrible that the other party cannot deal with hence the need to go out of the relationship. Sometimes, it is a mutual understanding between the two parties – maybe they discover that they are both not compatible and so they mutually decide that it is best to go their separate ways.
Our main focus is not really on what leads to people breaking up because for all we know, there are a thousand and one reasons why this happens. The focus therefore is on: how to deal with breakup.
While some people do not really get affected by a break up or heart break, many others get really heartbroken after a break-up and as a result they say all sort of things. Some will say “I don’t think I can ever love again because I gave my all to this relationship”; others may say “what is the essence of being faithful in a relationship”. Some people make up their minds not to trust again but are all these decisions good?
The first thing I would like to say is this: regardless of whether you did the breaking up or the other party did, you need to release the person from your heart. He might and in fact, he wronged you? She cheated on you… but for your own sake, you need to release them. You do not want to keep being bitter about such person because it will in some way affect you.
I agree that this could be difficult, especially if you have spent so much time with this person and gotten used to being with him or her. However, there is a reason that the break-up happened and as such you cannot keep hating yourself or being down about it. Please do not get me wrong, you might have your down moments where you analyse and reanalyze what went wrong or maybe you even cry and weep over it but the point I am trying to make is that you cannot afford and you should not put yourself in that position for too long. You need to move on with your life. There is a lot more to be done and so dwelling in that place for too long is not good for you.
Moving on might be hard but you have to do this because nobody (no matter how nice) can move on on your behalf. It is a personal decision that can be taken by you alone. This does not necessarily mean that you will totally forget about the person but you need to be 'sane'. I know that people do crazy things when their heart gets broken but this happens because they dwell on the issue for too long. No heart break should get you to the point of insanity! It is not worth it. Not at all!
Moving on means not allowing the mishap affect your life. You have work to attend to and yes you have to attend to it. You have books to read, and you have to read them. You have projects to work on and truly you need to get busy with those projects. There a lot of things to achieve so yes you have to achieve them.
I am sure you are saying that this is not easy and I agree with you. I also agree with the fact that people heal differently. For some people it could take a week, for some others months and some others a year or more. Regardless of how long it takes you to heal when something hurts, my advice is to try your best to heal quickly. When you heal quickly, you are able to do so much more with your life than wallow in self pity.
In order to heal quickly, I will recommend somethings that I have learnt not just from personal experience but from other people's experiences.
OneLove,
SomzyBrown
How do you heal quickly when the relationship kinda caused you irreparable damage and there's everything to remind you of it?
ReplyDeleteWe will talk about it next week dear. Sometimes you can't stop a memory or remove the things that remind you but you can consciously work on ignoring it for your sake.
DeleteWell done dear. but what if the resolution not to love again is not from the person's experience but that of their parents breakup, how would such a person heal?
ReplyDeleteHi dear. I wouldn't say that I have the right answer to this. However, no two marriages or relationships can be compared to another. In other words, the fact that ones parents had to break up does not mean that the same thing will happen to their child. It could be very discouraging but you shouldn't let that affect you to the extent that you decide not to love. Real and true love does exist and you can trust God that you will find such.
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