Marriage is Sweet When You're with the Right Person 2

So last week, we started with a conversation which I had with Dr. Olubanke Doherty (nee Asaju), but we could not finish up because it was going to be too long to read. So we decided to split it into two parts and here is the second part to the interview/conversation. Oh by the way, it was their wedding anniversary on the 30th of September and 1st of October so please show some love. Congratulations to the Dr. Odun and Dr. Banke Doherty! God will continue to keep your home. Peace, love, unity, understanding will never cease from your home in Jesus name.

“The truth about my husband and I is that we never run out of gist and we never get tired of talking to each other” she continued. “He is my best friend”.  Now I hope you have gotten your paper and biros; your tabs or your phones because as this discussion was going on, I was surely taking down some notes in my head and on my phone and that is how you are able to read this (smiles).    I remember an elderly woman saying that your spouse should be your best friend and rather than looking outside for someone to gist with, you should look inside to gist with your spouse. I have heard many people in relationships or marriages, refer to other people (leaving out their spouse) as their best friend. But really what do we think about this? Especially where the best friend is of the same gender as your spouse?  

I personally think and believe that making your spouse your best friend is key because this makes it impossible to run out of what to talk about. If you will agree with me, there is always something to talk about and if your spouse is your best friend after God, then you will find out that you guys are always talking.

As a married person, the worst thing you can do to yourself is keep malice with your spouse or fail to settle your discords before the day runs out. This would lead to a lot of piling up and remember that “it is easier to clean where there are little dirts but when there is a heap, it becomes more difficult” (quote by me). Banke in line with this made this powerful statement “we have never quarreled or kept malice with each other. We argue occasionally but we are quick to say ‘sorry’ to each other”. The effect of ‘sorry’ is a powerful one you know, if you are not good at saying this then you need to go learn how to because it can save you from a lot in life, not just in marriage. In marriage, there will always be one issue or the other or one misunderstanding or the other but you should not allow things pile up. One person (the more mature one) has to be a 'fool' by seeking to settle any dispute or issue.

Another important thing that Banke had to say about her marriage with the love of her life is this fact - “We do not keep secrets”. This is very recommendable for married couples to be honest. The moment you start keeping secrets, the issue of distrust begins to play in and before you know it, it has gone too far to be resolved. It might not be convenient to tell your spouse everything, but this is definitely something you need to consciously work on.

Finally, Dr. Banke in her final speech on the success of her marriage so far said “Most importantly, we are prayer partners, we pray and confess God’s word together everyday”. My expression to this was “whao! I love this!!!!”. God is the one that keeps a home but He does it through the individuals involved by directing them and telling them what to do per time. Remember that one will chase a thousand and two ten thousand, there is a multiple effect when two people do something. Praying together and studying God’s word is definitely key in a marriage as you are able to overcome so much in a little time compared to when you pray alone.

We hope you have enjoyed our conversation with Dr. Banke, please stay with us and we hope to see you here next week.

OneLove,

SomzyBrown