I LOST INTEREST IN WHAT WE HAD!

A friend of mine once said “It is bad to force someone to remain in a relationship with you when you know that the person has lost interest”. This is true because whatever is done out of force is not genuine if we are to be sincere with ourselves. The truth is that you cannot get the best out of someone when he or she is forced to do something. If you force someone to remain in a relationship with you (or get into a relationship with you) when it is evident that such person has lost interest, then you will most probably get the worst from that person.

Let me share a story with you:

I know of a lady (in fact more than one) who is in a ‘relationship’ but the unfortunate thing is that she is not in a relationship with someone who loves or has regard for her. How do I know this? The guy shows no sign that he loves or cares about her by the way he treats her and then the question that comes to mind is “did he really ask her to be in a relationship with him? And if he did, what then changed?”. This guy maltreats her and like I said earlier, he has little or no regard for her. From his actions,  one or two things could be implied. It is possible that the lady likes him more than he likes her or he actually did not ask her out and was forced to be in that relationship.

Do people find themselves in such situations? Yes! But should they remain in a relationship that yields no fruit of love? No! From this story, he has lost interest, so what else are you looking for? He does not regard you and he maltreats you. Do you think this is going to change by you remaining there and washing his feet? No! We need to be wise about things like this. If a guy or lady has no interest in the relationship and it is glaring that things cannot work out, please never force him or her to remain. Because if you do, the outcome will not be something enjoyable. It is possible that he or she needs space and you need to give him or her that space. 

You have your self-worth, you need your self-worth please.

Haven said all that, this is a different ball game when you are married! Yes, it is. Before you got married it is believed that you had taken your time to think it through and therefore made the decision to get married to that person. I am not trying to say that people do not change but this is a life commitment and you need to be careful of how you handle it. However, I do not think you would have gotten married to someone that you do not love or that does not love you in the first place.

Another important thing is  - Forgiveness!

Many times people wrong us, offend us, betray our trust... and will there be a time that people will stop getting us offended? No! But even when we are wronged or offended (i.e. based on the fact that he or she broke up with you or left you without a valid reason) you must be willing to let go.   It could be really difficult to do this especially when you feel that you have invested so much into the relationship but then you keep hurting yourself by failing to forgive your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend for whatever wrong that he or she has done to you. What works for me is that regardless of how hurt I feel about what someone has done to me, I try to help that person see reasons for why he acted in the way he did. This might not work for you but you definitely need to find something that works. This is because you cannot keep holding on to an offense, as much as possible, you should be without offence and avoid any headache.

When you fail to forgive, you hurt yourself more. This is true because sometimes the person that has wronged you has moved on in life but you are still there getting upset. I fully understand that it is not very easy to let go, but you really need to work hard at this. One way to easily forgive is to pray for the people who have wronged you. This might not sound right to you but it definitely works.

Thank you so much for stopping by and we hope to see you next week.

OneLove,

SomzyBrown