I AM WISER AS A LOVER...

The story of Jerry and Jessica is one that many people face in our world today. Although Jerry had stated that Vals day meant nothing to him, he was now willing to forget about himself and focus on his partner, Jessica who Vals day means a lot to.

There are a lot of ideologies in relation to Vals day. While some people think it's just a normal day, some are of the opinion that it is a day that their partner should show them love in a special way. I said special way because some people would say "are they not supposed to show love everyday...". 

Love should be shown everyday but I do not think that it is a bad idea that people have set aside a day to be intentional about it. However, I would say please don't put yourself or anyone under any pressure. It's a good thing but don't force it on anyone or make anyone feel bad about it.

Jerry later looked deeply into Jessica's point and realised that knowing what Jessica loves and doing it is best. Even though he doesn't  believe in it, his babe does and that should matter to him. This year, he got her a wonderful gift and she more than loved it.

Many times, as Lovers we focus on what we want and how we like to celebrate certain events and we totally forgot or ignore how our partners like to celebrate events. This in itself causes a lot of issues in relationships and marriages. 

This is a call to us - show love everyday and if you love Feb 14 or your partner does, show love and allow him/her enjoy it.

OneLove,

SomzyBrown

WHAT EXACTLY DOES SHE WANT?

 

Jessica was extremely unhappy and she queried her boyfriend last year for failing to celebrate her on social media or even get her a gift for Vals. She felt so heartbroken that she attempted breaking up with him. Jerry found it really strange that she reacted in that manner for the following reasons:

Firstly, at the beginning of their relationship, he told her that he doesn't celebrate Vals as he doesn't believe in showing love on just one day. Jessica's response to this was positive, she said it wasn't a big deal as she was indifferent about it. 

Fast-forward to Vals day - Eighty percent (80%) of Jessica's friends either got a huge gift or posted lovely pictures of them being pampered by their boyfriends/partners and this made her feel really bad. This in actual fact was the reason she was about to breakup with her boyfriend...

Secondly, According to Jerry, he has been sending and buying gifts for Jessica and he has lost count on how often she receives a gift from him. He also mentioned that apart from these gifts being really 'big' gifts, they were gifts that Jessica really needed and appreciated. "So what else does she want?" He wondered.

Why she would complain and almost break up with him because of one day (that no one knows how it came about - a day like every other day) that he failed to give her a gift baffled him... Why she was quick to forget about the other gifts she had received from him was a shock to him.

Jessica agreed that she said she was indifferent about it but really she would have appreciated it more if the previous gifts were gathered as one on the day of Vals at least so she could also put it up on social media and tell her friends about what she got. And no Jessica is not young ( so it's not about age at all).

Some people, in fact many people are of the opinion that there shouldn't be a day set aside for loving your partner or celebrating him/her. According to them, you should do this everyday and not just because society compels you to do it.

Please what do you think about Vals day? What do you think about Jessica and Jerry?Do we have some 'Jerrys' or 'Jessicas' here?

Please share your perspective.

Thanks a lot for stopping by and we hope to see you next week and also read from you this week.

OneLove,

SomzyBrown

HELP, I'M CHOKING!

There is a saying "Heaven helps those who help themselves". I'm not sure where or how we came about this saying but it is very relevant to our topic today.  

Many times and almost Everytime, you are the only one that can help yourself get out of toxic or unhealthy relationships. People around you can say anything, give all the right or wrong advices  but guess what?  The decision is left for you to make. You have to help yourself come out from any choking or toxic relationship.

Everyone has an opportunity to get it right maritally (especially if you involve God) and if you're patient enough to allow Him give you the 'go ahead' or tell you not 'to go ahead'. Sometimes you hear Him tell you through your conscience that that guy or lady would not treat you right if you get married or is not right for you but the pressure from parents or friends make you ignore it. Many times, you see signs, 'scary signs' that you shouldn't ignore but you consider what people would say and then you decide to go ahead with it anyway.

I always tell people that praying about who to get married to or whether to say yes to a particular man or ask the woman out is not as difficult as many people say it is. Truly, God will not come down from heaven to tell you to get married to someone..His voice might not even be loud but consider how you talk to Him normally (if you do). Situations like this are not different from other issues that you take to Him. He follows a pattern most times, so watch out for those patterns concerning this issue on whether to go ahead with him/her.

Involve God even before you say yes but if you've already said yes or gone ahead without involving him, it's not the end! Involve him now and let him lead and  direct you as to whether to go on with this guy/lady. Even after God directs you as to whether or not to go on, remember that the choice is yours.

God is always willing to help so involve Him always so as to avoid stories that choke. 

Happy new month guys. It is my prayer that we all will experience and share good news in Jesus name. 

Thanks for stopping by. God bless you real good.

OneLove,

SomzyBrown.

WHEN COMMUNICATION GOES WRONG...

Paul and Tessy are in a serious relationship.What do we mean by serious relationship? Well my definition of a serious relationship is that the two people involved are thinking, talking and making plans to get married. So they've gone past the stage of getting to know each other or deciding whether this relationship is for them or not. They are sure that they want to do this (get married) and plans are in order to achieve this. However Paul seems to have a little issue with Tessy.

"Tessy is a lovely person but sometimes I find it hard to believe that she's the same person when we have an issue or disagreement. Her tone changes and she sounds like she's about to eat me up for something that might be her fault. She's always willing and quick to address issues but then the way she talks when addressing these issue scares me to death..."

I read something today and I totally concur. Many times we talk about the importance of communication but we forget that that's not all that matters. The manner of communication is also very important. Some people like Paul's girlfriend are communicators (I.e. always willing to talk whenever there's an issue) but they lack proper manner of communication (the way they go about talking or addressing these issues).

You might be wondering what we mean by manner of communication and I'll give an illustration. There's a difference between "You hurt me really bad. It's not the first time it's happening and I'm not happy about it " and "You're such an annoying person. You enjoy hurting me everytime. Only irritating people do such and you'll never change". These two statements mean almost the same thing but the manner in which they are said, are different. 

The way something is said can ! be given a perfect or wrong interpretation. And so while communication in a relationship or marriage is highly important, we all need to learn how to communicate properly.

I pray that we all will make conscious efforts not just to be quick at communicating but to communicate in the right manner and with the right tone/approach.

Thank you so much for stopping by, God bless you and see you soon. 

OneLove,

SomzyBrown.

THE STRUGGLE WAS REAL BUT I SURVIVED

Dolapo grew up with three brothers and one sister. She really loved them and put in so much effort to have a good relationship with them but she was the last born. Because she was the last born child, her older siblings thought she was spoilt as she always got everything she wanted and was hardly scolded for things they got beaten for. 

Was this enough reason for her siblings not to like her? Well, to them it was. She  struggled and made numerous attempts to please them just to get in their good books but everything failed. This was a sad period for Dolapo and she had no one to talk to or express how she felt to. For no important reason, her siblings were not interested in loving her in return. The moment you give hatred an opportunity, it gets worse until you consciously withdraw the hatred.

This sour relationship continued and it became the norm. Dolapo soon got into a relationship and she couldn't tell the people that she would have loved to share it with the most. When the guy asked  for her hand in marriage, she told her siblings. She knew they were happy for her but she still couldn't feel the love. On the other hand, her husband had a sweet and lovely relationship with his siblings and she was shocked that siblings could have a lovely relationship. His siblings transferred the love to her and she was happy. 

Seeing that her husband's family was different, she made an inquiry into how they made it work between them and made up her mind to do whatever it takes to work on having a good relationship with her siblings. They are not there yet but she's not giving up.

Siblings are very important in our everyday lives and we must make conscious efforts to make this kind of relationship work. It is on this note that I introduce you to my book titled: A SIBLING'S LOVE. The hardcopy is now available for purchase. Please reach out to me on ifeoluwayimika@gmail.com if you're interested. Cheers

Thank you so much for stopping by. Have a blessed week, see you next week by God's grace.

OneLove,

SomzyBrown

WE MET IN A FUNNY WAY...

Chuks attended the same wedding that Tomide invited me to. Tomide's younger sister was getting married and so Tomide extended the invitation to few of his friends. Chuks was Tomide's colleague and very good friend. I am also Tomide's close friend. We attended the same secondary school and remained close since that time. 

There was a table reserved for Tomide's friends (as per big brother duties) and it so happened that Chuks and I sat next to each other. We chatted all through the wedding and I believed in my heart that I had found an amazing friend in Chuks. Our chats did not end at the wedding, we exchanged numbers and continued after the wedding. 

I had suddenly gotten attached to Chuks that if a day went by without talking to him, it felt like something was missing. We are still good friends till date and guess what? We got married to each other.

I shared the above story to encourage us to be open this year. Please be open to friendships and meeting people no matter how random because you never know which relationships would lead to your miracle. Not all meetings like this will lead to marriage but we all need to decide to be open. It's not all about getting married but about building relationships. You can meet people anywhere and under any unexpected circumstance so let's be open. 

To give more insight, Jennifer was served breakfast few weeks to Tomide's sister's wedding. She was really sad and bitter about it because she was hopeful that things would work between her and her ex-boyfriend but she was wrong. While trying to heal, she made up her mind to stay away from guys/men. She had made plans to just attend and leave the wedding after a few hours to continue in her sober mood but then she met Chuks. 

Imagine if she had allowed her experience rob her of the lovely relationship with Chuks. So you just never know. Make friends, be open and don't carry issues on your head. Everything will be fine las las.

Thanks for stopping by, God bless you all. We'll see soon by God's grace.

OneLove,

SomzyBrown.

NO MATTER WHAT THEY SAY...

There was a time when I heard about 2022 and thought to myself "the year is still far" but guess what? That year that seemed so far away has now come to us and is right in our faces. 

Let me use this opportunity to wish you a happy new year. I thank God for the amazing things that occurred in 2021 and I'm so full of hope at the mighty things that He will do this year. I pray that in this year, you'll experience favor like never before. You'll experience God's mercy in every area of your life in Jesus name.

For those believing God and hoping to get married this year, I pray that God brings the right woman/man your way and that you'll testify. It is my prayer that you won't settle for less (i.e. just anyone) because of pressure from family and friends but you'll meet the right person for you and with joy you both will plan to get married.

No matter what anyone says to you, please choose to stay positive and hopeful this year.  For your testimony will come but you have to do something first - DO NOT GIVE UP OR LOSE FAITH! You might be saying "Hmmmm...it's easier said than done" but please just try it out and see. You'll be glad you stayed positive and hopeful this year.

Also please do not allow anyone especially family members put any form of pressure on you. At the end of the day, you won't be able to put the blame on them cos you had a choice to make. Trust God to lead you and He surely will. 

Stay away from any negative thoughts or conversations saying all sorts which are against your desire and God's desire for you. Trust God to come through for you and He surely will.

Remember that there's no one without flaws or imperfections but ensure that he/she's imperfection is one that you can manage or cope with.

God will guide you all through this year in Jesus name. He'll connect you to the right people in every sphere of your life in Jesus name.

Thanks for stopping by once again and happy new year to you and yours. God bless you real good.

OneLove,

SomzyBrown