"You are an amazing person and I really wanted to get married to you but there is a lot going on right now in my life and I don't think we can go ahead with this marriage. I can't do this anymore. I am truly sorry." He said to me.
"What? Are you joking? It's a month to our wedding and you're saying this! You did not even have the courtesy of meeting with me physically to discuss this. This must be a joke. You must be pranking me..." These were the words and questions I intended to ask but I was in so much shock that I couldn't mutter a word. I cried profusely and uncontrollably. I had sent out invites to my friends and loved ones. My mum had invited all her family members as she couldn't contain the joy that her first daughter was getting married. I had told my mum that I wanted something really small but you know how mothers are, she ignored my request and went ahead to announce to the world.
It was a terrible period for me but I had to gradually move on. It was difficult! I cried every single day. I actually thought I was going to die. I was sick for days and was admitted in the hospital. I could not but think about all the plans and most importantly the fact that I thought I was getting married to the love of my life. It was when I was at the hospital that I summoned the courage to tell my mum about the break-up. She was so broken and couldn't say any word to me. She wept, I wept, we wept together for hours. She felt terrible and she blamed herself for the mishap. I told her it had nothing to do with her. She had gotten to like him so much but then God knows best.
How could someone move swiftly from marriage plans to not being ready to get married? If he knew he wasn't ready or interested, why did he propose? Why did he make himself known to my family? Why? Why? Why? What did I do wrong? Wasn't I good enough?. I had a lot of questions on my mind and I was not myself.
I moved from being joyful to being sorrowful but God helped me and after a full year, I was able to fully get over it. A lot of guys kept showing interest in me during the year of my healing from an almost marriage but I just wasn't ready to be in a relationship again because I wasn't sure of what to expect. I struggled with the thought that this could happen again and so I decided it was better to remain single.
After a while, I got into another relationship and I'm not sure if it was out of desperacy but I almost made a terrible mistake...
To be continued...
Thanks for stopping by and we hope to see you next week by God's grace. God bless you and Merry Christmas in advance.
OneLove,
SomzyBrown
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