5 LOVE LANGUAGES - GIFTS

Gifts are very precious and they have a way of melting the heart or what do you think? They are items that you can hold in your hand and say "he was thinking of me" or "she remembered me". For a person to get another person a gift, it means that s/he thought about or remembered that person. Gift giving is highly fundamental to love and guess what? The gift doesn't have to cost a dime. 

Gifts are a symbol of love and for some this ranks higher than other things (i.e. for some people, receiving gifts is their primary love language). As discussed in the previous episodes, a couple may have the same primary love language but more often than not, the primary love language of a husband is different from a wife. For a spouse whose primary love language is gifts, it might not matter whether the gift cost a lot of money or cost nothing at all. They rejoice at all gifts and are very appreciative of them regardless of the size. 

Gift giving is one of the easiest love languages to learn and Gary Chapman says that "if your spouse's primary love language is receiving gifts, you can become a proficient gift giver". For those who may say that their gift giving game is poor and do not know how to go about getting gifts for their spouses - your assignment is quite simple. If your spouse's primary love language is receiving gifts then he or she would have made mention of certain things that they would love to have or receive. All you need to do is  make a list of those things that your spouse has mentioned (or will mention) and gradually based on the size of your pocket, get those things for him/her. You can also ask close friends and family members who know your spouse well to advice on what gifts s/he may appreciate.

Gifts and Money

Some spouses are very careful when it comes to spending money, they will rather save and invest than buy anything extra. However, some others are very open to spending money. While there should be a balance, if you belong to the latter group you might not have an issue spending money on gifts for your spouse. However, if the former group is where you belong, this might be a big issue that you need to work on. It is very adviceable to invest in your spouse because this investment is one that would last long. 

The Gift of Self

This is one of the best gifts you can give to your spouse especially if his/her primary love language is gifts. A spouse whose love language is receiving gifts would appreciate your presence when they need you to be around. A lady complained to Gary Chapman that her husband loves softball more than he loves her. Her reason for saying this was that he was always playing soft ball at the times she needed him the most. The first experience was when their baby was born. He stayed during labour but immediately the baby came out, he went to play softball. She was extremely furious. The same thing happened when she lost her mum, people were around to console her but her husband was away playing softball. Her husband didn't see anything wrong in playing softball because he felt he had done his part by being present (even though for a short while) but she was greatly affected by his acts.

"Physical presence in the time of crisis is the most powerful gift you can give if your spouse's primary love language is receiving gifts". 

An advice to those whose primary love language is receiving gifts, if physical presence is important to you, you have a big duty to communicate this to your spouse because s/he cannot read your mind. So please learn to talk and let him/her know that their presence means the world to you. 

Suggestions from the Author

If your spouse's primary love language is receiving gifts here are some suggestions:

• Get your spouse something special, you can drop a box of chocolates or fruits before stepping out or place a delivery to him or her at work or home.

• Let nature be your guide.

• You can make a handmade gift for your spouse, it doesnt have to be something extra ordinary or expensive.

• You can decide to give your spouse a gift a day for a week or for a month. And your spouse wouldn't expect it to be forever but it will be good for memory sake.

• Keep a GIFT IDEA BOOK - whenever your spouse mentions something that they would love to have, just write it down. It doesn't matter that you do not have the funds. 

• You can ask for help from a friend if you're clueless as to what kind of gifts to get for your spouse. Not everyone is creative with gift ideas so don't feel bad.

• Offer the gift of presence. This would definitely go a long way.

• Give your spouse a book in an area that you know he or she is greatly interessted in and offer to discuss it with him or her. 

• Give a lasting tribute - do something for the church, charity group or community in your spouse's name. 

• Give a living gift - something that he or she would remember for life.

Thank you so much for stopping by and I hope it's been insightful for you as it has been  for me. See you next week by God's grace!!

OneLove,

SomzyBrown