YOUR SPOUSE MUST BE YOUR BEST FRIEND; CHOOSE THE RIGHT PARTNER.

I had the opportunity of reading a post by Mr. Leke Alder and I found it very insightful. Whenever I find insightful and interesting write-ups, I like to share them with you all so please enjoy the read. It is a very long post so I have divided it and I will be putting it up for the next 3 or 4 weeks. So stay tuned and enjoy!

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Contrary to what the religious mind might think, marriage is not a Christian thing, it’s a humanity thing. Marriage was not instituted after Jesus rose from the dead, it was instituted in the Garden of Eden. Because marriage is a humanity thing, God recognises marriages that are not conducted in church. The marriage ceremony is culture based. And that’s not saying don’t marry in church. If in your culture drinking a cup of cold water is how you get married, God will recognise it. And if it’s climbing a tree, God will recognise it. The conjugal ceremony is culture based. The church ceremony is a cultural expression. All that wearing of white is cultural. Up till mid-19th century brides didn’t wear white. The first person to do so was Queen Victoria. That was on 10th February 1840,179 years ago. There are two clear implications from the foregoing:

a. A non-Christian couple can have a wonderful marriage.

b. A Christian couple can have a horrible marriage.

The link between Christianity and marriage lies in the fact that God adopted the principle of oneness and headship embedded in it as the protocol to spiritually fuse Christ and the church.

What is generating distortions in many Christian marriages is incomplete theology. In the Bible, three dimensions of marriage are enumerated. We eliminated two. The first dimension of marriage is friendship and romance. The second dimension is sensuality and sexuality. The third dimension is dutifulness and responsibility. Here’s where we miss it: we major on scriptures that are focused on dutifulness and responsibility to the detriment of scriptures on sensuality and sexuality, as well as scriptures on friendship and romance. In other words we don’t have a balanced theology of marriage. In fact we view sensuality, sexuality and romance as carnal. So much so some couples pray before having sex. And some insist sex is only for procreation.

For men, the sensuality and sexuality cluster is critical. Sensuality is why men like models in bikini, girls in lingerie and so on. It’s why Play Boy magazine sells. But for the women, friendship and romance is what’s critical. It’s why ambient setting and foreplay is important to women. It’s why words, gifts, pecks, the clasping of necklace, zipping of blouses are important. She was doing her zipper before she met you! Make sure there’s an atmosphere of love in your home. It’s why you don’t keep grudges. Kiss her before you depart for work, don’t complain about doing zippers, commend her look, be gentle on her. Remove harshness and criticism from your home. Proscribe accusations. These are negative energies. It’s important you’re sexually attracted to your spouse. He or she must be someone you can sleep with, want to sleep with, not someone you tolerate or you’ll both suffer in the marriage.

Our theology of marriage is mainly centered on a few verses of scripture – Ephesians 5:22-33 – the “wives be submitted to your husband” passage; even though the first thing the passage says is that both husband and wife should be submitted to one another. Truth is, the passage is mainly focused on dutifulness and obligations of marriage. It enumerates the degree and quality of care. It’s NOT God’s total instruction on marriage. The passage doesn’t deal with sex for example. Neither is it concerned with attractiveness or romance...

To be continued...

Thanks a lot for stopping by, we hope to see you soon.

OneLove,

SomzyBrown.