ISSUES ARE BOUND TO HAPPEN IN RELATIONSHIPS BUT...

Is it possible to have a relationship or marriage where there are no issues at all?

Very impossible!

Is it possible to have a relationship or marriage without controversies? 

Again, I say No!

The reason for this is that no matter how close spouses are, they are different, have different characters, are of a different sex/gender and so on. Some people when asked may say otherwise, but do not be deceived, every relationship or marriage is posed with one challenge/issue or the other. The difference is that  some people are skilled and better at handling it than others. However, the truth is that - everyone can be skilled at handling such issues.

We have established that there is no relationship or marriage without one issue or the other. However, these issues can be resolved without it being blown out of proportion. It takes a wise and understanding spouse to see the good side and bad side of his or her spouse but to choose to focus on the good side. Everyone in my opinion should aim to do this! No one is perfect but we can all work towards perfection. It is important to note that it is not the duty of the wife alone, neither is it the duty of the husband alone to resolve issues and establish peace, everyone has this duty and everyone can achieve this!

But how can you achieve this?

You can achieve this by choosing to be tolerant. Tolerance has been defined as "the ability or willingness to endure the existence of opinions or behaviour that one dislikes or disagrees with". From this definition, let me point out that it is not everything that your spouse does that you will agree with and it is also not everything that your spouse does that will make you happy. This is what leads to issues or quarelld. As much as it is advisable to be with someone that has the same belief as you do, even this person will do some things that you might disagree with. However, you must be willing to tolerate him or her.

One of the reasons many people have issues that they find difficult to settle is because they have failed to tolerate each other. This does not mean that they are bad people,  it just means that they at that time lacked the capacity to endure or be patient with their spouse. Tolerance is one of the key attributes that one should have in a relationship or marriage because it helps you overlook the wrong or bad attitude of the other person. Now this does not imply that you should not talk about these issues, you should talk to your spouse about the things he or she does that you do not like but please and please, talking about it does not mean that you should make a big deal out of it or blow it out of proportion.

People have broken up or gotten into a divorce over things that could have been avoided. Someone recently said that himself and his wife have had tough and trying times, some of which they know have been the basis of some other people getting a divorce. However, they both decided to tolerate each other and they have come quite far by making the decision to get stronger and better even through the storm. 

Another important thing to note is this : Your spouse is different from you and s/he cannot act like you! Yes!

We shall continue with this next week. Thank you so much for stopping by,  we hope to see you next week. 

OneLove,

SomzyBrown.