Stabbed!!! 2

Anne was shocked and flabbergasted by Mike's action towards her. "What have I done wrong?" She wondered. "Why did he ask me to marry him and why did I ever think saying yes to him was the right thing to do?" She thought to herself. 

This leads me to - "Right person, wrong reasons…. Why relationships crumble"

Would you say Mike broke up because Anne was not right for him or because they went into the relationship for wrong reasons?

Mike and Anne’s story are typical torrid tales that occupy our information space. Break ups are bad, divorce is worse, what happens when the “true love” becomes false?

While I am not exactly a relationship expert, I would be sharing a few thoughts about why relationships crumble despite the fact that the partner fits into all the “specs” you create. 

1. Love is not a feeling, it’s a choice: Relationship is beyond the boisterous butterfly that dances around your stomach when you meet the Tall Dark and handsome guy with a British accent. While it is okay to “fall in love” and chemistry is necessary, it is more important that you share the same goals, values, and other things that make people bond, and this leads me to my next point.

2. Beliefs can’t be Bought: After basking in the euphoria of the captivating chemistry, it is necessary that you come back to reality and examine each other’s beliefs and make sure you are in sync. I was once smitten with a lady who attended a church where they didn’t believe in tithing because they termed it old testament. I picked race immediately, not because her belief was wrong (I have nothing against it) but because I am an ardent believer of tithing and whoever I would spend the rest of my life with must have the same belief. You might term it flimsy, or call it a minor issue, but I hope sometime in the future you don’t exchange words because you paid a huge amount of tithe instead of using the money for children’s school fees, or a particular ceremony.

3. Values give vibes: Nothing unites an intending couple than sharing the same values, interests and other related elements. I tell my friends jokingly that whoever I would end up getting married to, would either be a writer, a poet or a lover of literature. I would rather go for poetry reading than go to see a new movie, so I can’t date not to talk of marrying a movie freak. It doesn’t mean we won’t see movies, but I know you know what I mean. I would also tend towards any lady who has a mild or strong interest in sports, any kind of sports, I mean, we won’t run out of things to say, we would watch champions league together, argue Messi Vs Ronaldo till our food goes cold (or maybe Mbappe ,Hazard vs Neymar then), watch the Williams sister battle on the court and send our kids to sleep while we watch John Cena and Rey Mysterio, it’s gonna be fun…. Call me weird , but I just painted an imaginary future for you. So what is yours, and does that gorgeous lady or man fit into it? You don't wanna 'manage' with the person you would spend the rest of your life with, do you?

4. Physique is Ephemeral: Trust me, nature should never forgive those who base a relationship 'only' on physical attraction. We once joked on my class group page about how some ladies are beautiful both on Sunday morning before service and Saturday morning when they just get off the bed. I am sure you know what I am talking about. If the only thing that attracts you is his or her looks, you are on your own.

I could go on and one, however, I am constrained by time and space. I hope these few lessons were helpful, I look forward to hearing from you and I hope Mike gets back to Anne after the break up.

Emmanuel Faith

Thanks once again for stopping by. We hope to see you next week. Please do not forget to drop your comments and thoughts.

OneLove,

SomzyBrown