I have received a lot of comments about this particular love language and it gives me the opinion that there are a lot of people whose primary love language is words of affirmation. What does it mean for your primary love language to be words of affirmation? In my opinion, it means that words matter to you a whole lot more than anything else. In other words, your love tank would be full when your spouse says lovely words to you, encourages you in down times, cheers you up when you're winning, sends you a message or note during the day just to appreciate your wonderful self, puts up nice words on social media to express their love towards you etc.
Words of Affirmation could be likened to compliments given to a person. According to Gary Chapman, words of Affirmation are "verbal compliments or words of appreciation..." Saying words like "You look beautiful in that dress" or "You're so beautiful my darling wife" could make a woman's love tank go up. Also words like "I am proud of the man that you are" or "You're so responsible..." could make a man's love tank sky rocket. When your spouse does something good, s/he deserves a compliment from you and this would mean a lot especially if this is your spouse's primary love language. It's not enough to say it in your mind (many of us are guilty of this), say it to him or her cos that's what really counts.
Another part of Words of Affirmation is dishing out encouraging words to your spouse especially in areas that you know s/he feels insecure. Sometimes it is easy to get carried away by focusing only on what's important to you, forgetting that your spouse might be failing (or may feel like s/he is failing) at what is important to him/her. Encouraging words at such times would definitely lift the spirit of your spouse up. For example, if your husband has been out of a job for a while and he has been making efforts to get one but all to no avail, he would appreciate if you encourage him. You might think he needs to do something better but maybe your advice can come after much encouragement.
How do I know if words of affirmation is important to me or my main love language? Good question and I think I have the right answer for you. Firstly, you can know by analysing the importance or unimportance of words to you and Secondly by taking part in this Quiz
Can I just say that there is a mistake that many of us make - and that is treating our spouse the way we love to be treated. If you share the same love language with your spouse, then this is fine. But remember that this exercise is about getting to know your love language as well as that of your spouse so that you know how you prefer to be loved and how your spouse prefers to be loved. This is a call for everyone to pay attention to what is important to your spouse and be there to encourage him or her with the right words.
Thank you so much for stopping by, sharing, and commenting. We appreciate you and we hope that your love life gets better by the day.
OneLove,
SomzyBrown
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