I met Bidemi some years ago and he was everything that I prayed for in a man. We started a relationship and things were going really well. Bidemi was interested in getting married to me, well so he said. I was happy to hear this but I tried not to get too excited until he had put a ring on it. You know how you hear of stories where the guy had professed love and intention to get married but one thing or the other happened and he went on to be with someone else. I didn't want to get too excited until I was sure that this was really going to happen. I loved Bidemi so much and I knew he loved me but I was patiently waiting for him to take appropriate steps in this regard.
As much as we loved each other, we had our differences which often led to a misunderstanding. Sometimes it took us days to resolve our issues and other times it took a longer period. Whenever we had serious issues, I really wished we could talk to someone about it but there was no one to talk to. I had a Mentor but when I asked about who his Mentor was, his response was "I don't need a Mentor!" I was shocked to hear this but I decided that I was going to explain the reason we all need a Mentor. After I explained this to him, he agreed that having a Mentor is key especially because you need to be accountable to someone.
Agreeing to the importance of a Mentor was not sufficient, so we took steps to find a married couple who could mentor us in our relationship. He also got a Mentor in his field. We chose a couple that we can run to when the chips are down and who will be able to redirect us and ensure that we are on the right path in our relationship and later on, our marriage. This really helped us as we both could talk to neutral people about some important things in our lives without being judged and without them taking sides. We have learnt a lot, we are still learning a lot from them and we are more than grateful to have them in our lives.
Mentor! Mentor! Mentor! Many people agree that it is important to have a Mentor in their career and/or line of business but some people do not think that it is necessary to have Mentors in their relationship or marriage. Mentors are very important for everyone. As an individual, you need a Mentor but if you're in a relationship and you're serious about it (hoping to get married) you also need a Mentor, strongly!
Just in case you're wondering who a Mentor is and what role they play - A Mentor is a person who provides guidance and support to another person who looks up to him/her. A Mentor is expected to lead you and ensure that you're on the right path and when you fail or make an error, correct you and redirect you. This is my own definition but I hope it somewhat helps in understanding who a Mentor is and what role they should play in your life.
In choosing a Mentor(s) especially when it comes to relationship or marriage, please ensure that you choose people that share the same or similar value so that they do not advice you to do things that you do not believe in or things that are against your values. Like Bidemi and Tolani, things have gotten better in their relationship because they got a Couple as Mentors who have been able to help them and guide them rightly.
Beware of people who do not see the need to have Mentors because it means that they do not want to be accountable to anyone and this is a danger sign. There must be someone that he or she looks up to and you can talk to when he or she is misbehaving or having a downtime.
You need a Mentor especially in your relationship or Marriage. You need someone that you can talk to and ask questions. They have gone ahead of you and so you can learn from them and even avoid making the mistakes that they made. You do not know it all and you can never know it all so please do not underestimate the value of having a Mentor(s) in your life and in your relationship. Like we said earlier, ensure that you choose the right person. Also please ensure that whoever you both choose as Mentors are neutral people. By neutral, I mean not your parents or a relative because there is a tendency that they will take sides with either of you.
We hope that you see the need to get a Mentor(s) especially in your relationship. Thank you so much for stopping by and we hope to have you here again.
OneLove,
SomzyBrown.
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