That Gish Gish Feeling!

"Gish Gish in this write-up means Sensation" 

"Open the doors and windows if no one is around you, that way you will be careful...although I would say that it is better to always have people around you..." These were some of the words from the advice given to me by my Mentor. "Thank you so much ma. Thank you for not judging me and thank you so much for listening to me. I will practice all you've said but I'ld appreciate you checking up on me." We had spent 2 hours discussing about an issue I had and I was grateful for her advice and hoped that it would be a lasting solution.

**********************************************

I grew up in Church and I had heard a thousand and one times that it was wrong and in fact a sin to have sex with the opposite sex until marriage. In fact, my Pastor always said these words over and over again "...keep the marriage bed undefiled..." These words soon became a worship song because of the consistency and passion with which he often said it. Trust youths to be very funny, whenever he came up to preach or give an exhortation, regardless of the topic for the day, we all shouted "keep the bed undefiled".

As much as I grew up knowing that pre-marital sex was wrong, nobody ever told me what to do to prevent it from happening. The secondary school warning from my mum that "if you go near a man, you will get pregnant" had proven to be false and I was now on my own. I had to figure this out somehow. I couldn't talk to any member of my fellowship about it because they all felt it wasn't a matter to be discussed.

Not sure of what to do and how to act when I was alone with a guy, I decided to avoid it by all means. I told myself that "it is better to stay away from men altogether than to get close and permit unexplainable acts". I stayed away from getting into a relationship and avoided talking to my male friends for too long. But for how long was I going to run away from men because of the fear of how to handle them? Was I not interested in getting married? And if I was, won't I need to get into a relationship first? Many people had shown interest in me but I ran with the speed of light as soon as they made their intentions known.

Continuing with this avoidance spirit was becoming annoying not just to my male friends but also to me. I felt a deep sensation when I was with a particular friend of mine but because of all that I had learnt both from Church and my fellowship, I began to bind and cast this feeling. "It must be the devil trying to make me feel this way." I thought to myself and the binding and casting increased as a result of this thought. Little did I know that it was okay to feel that way but not to awaken it until the time is ripe. I began to wonder why the devil was making me feel this way and so to avoid such feelings, I decided to stay away from this friend whom it appeared the devil was using.  

But was staying away the ideal thing and was it sustainable?

To be continued 

Thanks for stopping by. Please keep staying safe and may God keep us all in good and perfect health. Amen!

OneLove,

SomzyBrown.