It was hard to stay away from Benjamin especially because he was a sweet person. Although I really liked him, I tried my best to hide my feelings. He knew the feeling was mutual but respected my decision not to get into a relationship yet. This even made me like him more. I mean instead of putting pressure on me to say yes, he just remained a good friend and rarely brought up the topic.
He made it a point of duty to see me off to my hostel whenever we were together. On this particular day, I got to my room and I could not stop thinking about Benjamin. He was a good guy, a Jesus guy, a handsome guy, a sweet guy etc. The like was gradually growing into love so I decided I was going to say yes to him. "You've made my day! I am the happiest person right now. Thank you so much Cynyhia. I promise never to take you for granted. I promise to always treat you right..." These were his words when I said yes to getting into a relationship with him.
Benjamin had invited me to his house numerous times but I had made up my mind not to visit him until we were in a relationship. Now that I had said yes, I could go to his house right? I was eager to see what his house looked like so in no time, I visited him. Benjamin's house was so clean, tidy, organised and this made me love him even more. He cooked for me and made me feel at home. What a nice guy right? We sat together and talked about different things. During this period, I noticed his hands coming close to mine so I quickly stood up to do the dishes. While I was doing this, I felt a hand on my shoulders. It could be no one else but Benjamin's. I shrugged and he stopped.
I left his house that day with the decision never to go there again. I loved him but I had to be careful. I had barely made the decision not to go to his house when I found myself there again. This time around, I allowed Benjamin put his hand on my shoulders and I held his other hand. My body was doing gish gish (I felt some sensation) and I was enjoying it. We didn't go any further and I was happy.
Getting to my room, I thought about all that happened. How did I go from avoiding men to feeling this way for one man? I knew that something had changed in me and my roommates also noticed.
The visits continued and the events grew from holding hands to kissing and on some occasions, sex almost happened. It was the last incident that made me realise that we had come too far and if we were not careful, we would engage in the one thing we vowed never to do. Benjamin and I were both strong Christians and we had decided that we were going to keep the bed undefiled. The truth is that the fact that we were in very close contact in a house where he lived alone, was like a trap that we had set for ourselves. I thought I was strong and able to withstand such actions but the Scripture says "let him that thinks he stands, take heed lest he falls". I therefore decided to speak to my mentor about it and that was when she gave that advice as we read last week.
Benjamin and I heeded to the advice from my mentor and even though it was really hard, we scaled through. I reduced my visits to his house drastically and I ensured that I only went when I knew someone else was going to be around. We also tried as much as possible to reduce the number of times that we were alone. This really helped us and we were gradually able to control our feelings and sensation and today, we are happily married.
Many times its difficult to abstain from sex but it becomes more difficult when the two people involved regularly stay alone. My advice for Christians like me is to avoid being alone with your boyfriend or fiance as the case maybe because it is most times when you are alone that such temptations are on the increase and it is more difficult to say no because 'no one' is watching.
I pray that God will help those of us that have made the decision to abstain from pre-marital sex (whether a virgin or not). He will strengthen us. Amen
Thanks a lot for stopping by and we hope to see you next week by God's grace.
OneLove,
SomzyBrown.
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