THIS THING CALLED LOVE

I felt a sharp pain in my head as I slowly opened my eyes, oblivious of my surroundings. At first, everything seemed blurry and I could only hear people murmuring, shouting, screaming and crying. A voice I later recognized as my mother’s kept screaming: “She’s alive. Thank God! Call the doctor quickly”. I wondered what was happening as none of the things I heard made sense to me. Gently, I blinked continuously, getting accustomed to my environment. The first person I noticed was my mother, she was kneeling beside the bed, holding my hands and weeping. My brother was also standing right there with the Bible in his hands. He was lost in deep prayers that he failed to notice that I was already awake. 

My flatmate sat on my bed looking worried. I looked at my hand and the drip hanging above my head. “Hospital? What am I doing here?” I asked. My flatmate narrated that she came into my room and met me lying on the floor unconscious so she hurriedly took me to the hospital where she worked and called my mother who arrived with my brother. She further said that I had been in the hospital for a week with no signs of recovery, and just when everyone was losing hope, I suddenly opened my eyes. "Me? Unconscious? What could have happened?" I wondered again. I thought for a bit and slowly began to remember the events that happened up until that fateful day when I tried to take my own life.

I met Dan at a time when I was not prepared for a relationship. I was 15 years old and I was fortunate to have gained aadmission into the University at that age. Not only was I so young, I was also very naïve. I was still a virgin and I had received several preachings from my pastor and mother about the importance of getting married as a virgin. So when Dan asked me to be his girlfriend, I was reluctant to say yes because I knew the kind of immoral things people engaged in at the University and I did not want to be a part of it. Above all, I wanted to honour God with my body. But Dan persisted...

He was so nice and funny. He showered me with so much love and affection that after much persuasion from friends, I said yes to him. However, I gave him a strict condition that the relationship must be one with 'no-sex' . He agreed and we started dating. Unfortunately after a month, he got tired of the no-sex thing and then series of cheating began. He cheated shamelessly and sometimes brought the ladies into my apartment. He had a key to my room and so whenever I travelled, my room became his haven. His relationships with these other ladies continued until the day I walked in and caught him having sex with one of them. This happened after one year of dating Dan. His unruly attitude had become too much for me to handle and so we decided to bring the relationship to an end. I found out years later that he got married to someone else and they had 2 kids. That was my first attempt at love.

My second love was Collins. Collins was a perfect gentleman and when I presented the rules and regulations to guide the relationship, he had no difficulty accepting them. He appeared to be a good Christian, the type of guy that my mum had advised me to get married to. I was hopeful that we would keep the bed undefiled until our wedding day when I would present my virginity to him as my wedding gift. Collins was already a graduate, he was responsible and had a job already. He made it clear from the beginning that he wasn’t just asking for a relationship but that he was willing to make me his wife and the mother of his kids. He sounded honest and genuine so I had no difficulty believing him. 

At least, this was a better option. "I would get married to him and that way, I would not need to keep him waiting and risk being cheated on again. I also would not need to commit sexual immorality with him." I thought to myself. Collins and I had only dated for a year when I got the shock of my life. My housemate had informed me of a letter that came in for me. After much thoughts on what the content of the letter could be, my eyes beheld an invitation to attend Collin's wedding ceremony. I could  not believe my eyes. After all the promises Collins made to me, he was getting married to another person. This was unbelievable but that was not the most painful part of the whole thing.

To be continued...

Chidinma Grace Nwokocha 

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OneLove, 

SomzyBrown.