I woke up on Valentine’s Day to a beautiful gift from my bestie.... As a single lady, I honestly wasn’t expecting anything that day. The plan was to sleep, eat and probably take myself out later in the day. But then I saw a beautiful gift from my best friend and it just melted me to tears.
Now, Ife and I (we call ourselves Twinie) have been friends for about 12 years. We met back in 100level and I instantly fell in love with her sweet nature (being the gragra babe that I am..lol). We have an inside joke where I accuse her of being the one who begged for my friendship but in actual fact, I know I am blessed to have her. She has always been sweet and so her valentine's gift to me wasn’t particularly surprising but just amazing.
It then got me thinking. How have we been able to remain best of friends all these years but I haven’t even been able to keep a love relationship for more than 3 years? What was so special about us to have kept us going strong all these years? If it worked for us both then I should be able to apply it into a love relationship to build a lasting one right? So I decided to dig deep and I came up with just 2 things my Twinie and I have done over the years that has kept us strong. Let’s ride together and this might also work for your current or next relationship as well.
Firstly, I truly cannot remember ever talking negatively or being part of a negative conversation about my Twinie. No one even found it comfortable having such conversations with me because they always knew it would never be entertained. If I had any ill feelings towards her, I shared it with her. Although I am also a new student planning to apply this principle into my next relationship, I truly think this works. It means not giving room for negative feedbacks or voices concerning your partner. This makes the fort too strong to be broken by any 3rd party.
Now that we have shielded ourselves against 3rd parties we now had to shield ourselves from ourselves. The next thing I know my Twinie and I have practised over the years is the art of overlooking. So many times I annoy her (I actually can be very annoying) and she does sometimes too, but without discussing it, we sort of came to the unspoken agreement to just always overlook issues that do not worth dwelling on. We do not fan little issues into becoming big ones; we simply dismiss them before they have the chance to become big issues. Now this is not same as bottling in issues at all. The point is, once we realise it doesn’t exactly take away nor add anything to us, we simply ignore it, we take it like it never happened.
I only just realised this on Valentine’s Day and I literally screamed. Why on earth haven’t I been like this with all relationships? Why hadn’t I learnt the art of overlooking minor issues with others? Why hadn’t I learnt that not all issues are worth dwelling on? That I always didn’t have to prove a point in every case. I had done this with my bestie for many years and it has worked!! We hardly had issues, hardly. This has overtime resulted in less stress, less headaches, and of course a better relationship!
So here I am today sharing these tips with the whole world. Shielding your friend or partner from negativity and learning to overlook little issues has greatly helped my relationship with my bestie and I do think it can help you too.
Okay bye now while I go flaunt my bestie some more...lol.
*Ife Alonge (Twinie1) *
Thanks for stopping by and hope you enjoyed part of the love story
OneLove,
SomzyBrown.
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