IS IT OKAY TO SAY THAT ALL MEN ARE THE SAME???

"That's how all men are! I don't think you can find one that is not like this..." said Ibukun to her closest friend Shola. "Ibukun! You cannot just generalise like that! Not all men think that you have to be abusive to a lady to earn her respect" Shola tries to explain to Ibukun. "Well I have proof Shola. I grew up seeing my dad treat my mum like trash. He would talk to her anyhow and sometimes beat her for the singular reason that she had a different opinion from his. My mum had no say in the house and it just made the way my dad treated her look normal. 

"I'm sorry about that Ibukun. I understand what you mean but I don't think your mum's experience is enough proof that all men are like that." "My mum is not the only proof Shola, my elder sister has been married for just about a year and it feels like ten years already because of the scars both on her body and in her heart. She is bitter everyday but she cannot leave her marriage because she has learnt 'endurance' from my mum. This is something that I hoped will never happen to me. Tomi knew about the whole situation with my family and I somewhat thought that engaging him in all that was happening would make him treat me better but I was wrong. He has done the exact same thing that I dreaded all my life. So maybe in actual fact, this is how all men are. I was hoping that along the line I would see someone that is different from the picture of my dad and brother-in-law but that person seems really far away and I just may never find a different person."

"Ibukun! Ibukun! Don't talk like that please. I cannot fully say that I understand how you feel but I don't think it's right to talk like this. You guys are not even married yet so there's still hope and I know that you can find a man that would truly love you, not abuse you and respect your opinion even if it differs from his. Please get it out of your head - it is not normal for a man to be abusive (emotionally or in whatever way) and any man who is, does not deserve you. The fact that it happened to your mum and to your sister does not mean it should happen to you. In fact you must ensure that history does not repeat itself. You have to break this chain so as to avoid passing on the same experience to your children. You deserve to be treated right, in fact every woman does, so don't settle for less because you think that's the best you can ever get.

To be continued...

Thank you so much for stopping by, we hope to see you next week by God's grace.

OneLove,

SomzyBrown