Tuesday 18 December 2018

IF HE HASN'T TALKED ABOUT IT AFTER 2 YEARS...2





As we said last week, the man I discussed with said that it is important to avoid being with 'time-wasters'. The truth is that some men and women alike get into relationships just for the fun of it and it would be sad for you to be in such relationship especially if it means so much more to you than it means to the other person involved. You need to be wise and prayerful so that you do not end up with or you're not currently with a time-waster. While some delays are genuine (i.e. the guy or the lady is still trying to sort out some important aspects of their lives), some others are intentional and are done in a bid to waste the time of another. You deserve more than to be with someone who just wants to waste your time especially when it is evident that this person is maritally ready.

He also said that in 2 years, a serious man would say something about the end goal. Talking about it or saying something about it does not mean that the time is now. It just means that he is involving you in his plans and you're aware of such plans. If a man wants to get certain things from a person he partners with in business, he will definitely state it at the beginning or along the line. He will never make the mistake of not stating it at all because he knows that failure to mention his desires could be a sign of non-interest and could lead to some loss. This illustration is applicable to a relationship. If he means business, he will not hesitate to let you know. If he intends to get married to you, he would not be ashamed to say it at one point or the other.

Also allow me drop this here - if you're in an undefined relationship (i.e. he does not know or see you as his girlfriend or you do not know whether you are his girlfriend), this does not apply to you o. The first thing you will need to sort out is whether you are in a relationship or not. 

Now back to the main issue - If you've prayed and you're sure that this is the person you should be with and you are both ready, there is really no need to keep counting down. 4 years down and you're not married. So what's the point of the relationship? A count down relationship or one that should lead to marriage? You might really need to re-evaluate your relationship by ensuring that you are in it for the right reasons and that you're not being delayed or delaying someone unnecessarily. 

Also, I believe that dating with the hope that one day, he will tell you that he has decided to get married to you isn't right. As earlier said, a man knows what he wants before he goes for it and so should a woman. Although it might not be in a woman's place to ask a man if he intends to get married to her, but it is in her place to know why he wants to be in a relationship with her. Is it possible for this reason to change along the way? Yes! Some people start a relationship with the intention to get married but along the way somethings happen and they are unable to get married. This is understandable but at least they got into it for the right reasons.

All that we have said is not to say that you  should leave your boyfriend because in 2 years he hasn't said anything about marriage. Neither is it for you to force him to get married to you. It might just be a time to do some checks and balances. What exactly is going on in the relationship? Are you both mature? Are you both ready? If your answer to these questions are YES, then you will need to discover what is causing the delay.

Wisdom is profitable to direct and I pray that God will give all of us wisdom. Thanks a lot for staying with us on this. 

OneLove,

SomzyBrown 

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