HOW LONG DO I WAIT BEFORE I MOVE ON?

I have had numerous discussions with people in relation to the above topic and I think it's high time I wrote about it. The first thing I would like to say is that people get into relationships for different reasons and they also break up for different reasons. As a result of this, there is no specific time that would suit everyone and no comparison can or should be made because every situation is different.

Moving on after a break up is dependent on the person involved and the circumstances that led to the break-up. For some people, after a break-up with their boyfriend or girlfriend, they decide that they would not get into another relationship with someone else until they are completely healed or until they have completely gotten over the terrible feeling of being jilted or whatever the case may be. Some other people go into a relationship immediately after a break-up not necessarily because they planned to but because while they were trying to get over the heart break, someone else was there to console and encourage them and it just made sense to be with that person.

We are all different and we react to hurt or disappointment differently. This is one of the reasons you should not compare your situation to that of another person. Although, there is no hard and fast rule about this, one very important thing is that you need to ensure that you have gotten to a point where your heart has totally forgiven the person that broke-up with you or that you broke up with . The reason for this is that it is not good to carry along gabbages from a previous relationship into a new one as this would affect how you treat or view the new person in your life. You really should not go into a relationship comparing the former guy or lady to the new guy or lady because they are totally different people. Making comparisons in your heart or through your words and actions is the worse thing you can do to a person you are in a relationship with. Nobody likes this, nobody wants this and you would not like it if you are on the receiving end of such behaviour.

I also need to point out that it is not every break-up that leads to one person or the other being extremely hurt. There are some break-ups that happen based on a mutual understanding and agreement between the two people involved and as such, it might be easier for such people to move on. While it might take some people a year or more to make the decision to be with someone else, it might take a shorter time for other people. The fact that Tola got into another relationship one week after she encountered a break-up does not mean that Bimbo can and should afford to do the same.

Take home point: Make sure you are completely healed of the former before you get into the new one. Ensure that you have learnt from the mistakes you made in the past or the things you did not do right (if any) before you move into another relationship. The fact that your friend got into a new relationship a month after she had a break-up in her previous relationship does not mean that that same time frame applies to you. There is no specific amount of time to wait for before moving on, you move on when you know you are ready to and you're the only one that can determine that.

Thanks for stopping by.

OneLove,

SomzyBrown