IF HE HASN'T TALKED ABOUT IT AFTER 2 YEARS...

Growing up, I wanted to know so much about many things but for one reason or the other, I realised that majority of my questions were centred around marriage and relationships. One beautiful day, I walked up to a man I respect so much and I asked: "how long do you think a person should be in a relationship for before they decide to get married?" He answered and said: "1 (one) to 2 (two) years is fine". This stayed with me for a while and then I had another discussion with someone else. 

Before I move on to the other discussion I had, let me just say that when he gave that response, he was not saying that the number of years to spend in a relationship is limited to 1 to 2 years, it could certainly be more. Also in his response, he was not referring to 14, 16 or 18 year olds. I just had to state this so that one 14 year old who is currently in a relationship would not think that by age 16, it is okay for her boyfriend and herself to get married. By his response to my question, he was referring to mature people. Yes we can say that maturity is not equal to age but please not a 16 or 18 year old. Thank you. (Smiles). 

Now to the second discussion - I know of many people who courted for 6 to 7 years and got married but I also know of some other people who courted for that long but decided to go their separate ways. I really could not fathom this especially because I felt some people could consider this a waste of time. So I asked another question: "if two mature people (both age wise and character wise) have been dating for 3 to 5 years and the man does not seem to say anything. What should the lady do? Is it right for her to pop the question by herself or should she just be expectant that he would one day say something?"

Without thinking for long, he said "Ife, from the day a mature man starts dating/courting, he knows what he wants from a lady and that is the reason he came to you in the first place. If he wants to get married to you, his conversations would be centred around that 'sometimes' but if he really doesn't care about that part of the relationship, he would avoid saying anything about it. If two mature people are in a relationship for more than two years and no serious discussion about marriage has come up, then you might need to think deeply about what you are really doing and maybe move on".

I was still curious and I wanted to know more but the last statement he made got me thinking. Does that mean that once it is 2 (two) years and he hasn't popped the question, a break-up should happen? No! There is so much more he said that I might not be able to say here because I don't want to bore you but in essence he was trying to drive home a point. Many people get into relationships these days just to be able to say that they have a boyfriend or girlfriend or to say that they are in a relationship with someone. Some others get into relationships in a bid to avoid the pressure from friends and family members asking for when they would get married. The major reason for getting into a relationship should be marriage and that is why you need to pray about this before you take any step of such. Although the essence of a relationship (i.e. marriage) has been watered down, it still does not change the fact that that is the real essence.

He also said that it is important to avoid being with someone who is a "time-waster'. We shall continue with this next week. Thanks for stopping by, we truly do appreciate your support.

OneLove,

SomzyBrown