WHY DO PEOPLE CHEAT??

Some of you might be wondering why this write-up is not titled "Why men cheat!"

For a long time, emphasis has been laid on the fact that men cheat and that men are the only ones that cheat in relationships. I had a discussion with some people where the ladies shared their concerns on men cheating on women. A man got angry at this and expressed his annoyance at the fact that people still think that it is only men that cheat. I was on his side and I remember saying that "as much as men cheat, women also cheat on their spouses".

The question then is Why do people cheat? What exactly leads a man or a woman to cheat on his or her spouse?

In my little experience of speaking to people, I think one thing that leads to cheating is the fact that people change and their interests change. If you have been in a relationship with someone for more than a year, you will discover that your partner is not the exact same person that he was in the first year. This is not to say that he used to be good and has now become bad. However, he or she is not the same way they used to be. Now, the moment some people begin to notice changes in their spouse, they make complaints after complaints and find ways to be happy without having to talk to that person anymore.

Change as we know is the only constant thing and it is not always negative change, it could be positive change. When the interest of a man or a woman changes, they begin to expect more from their spouse and the moment they 'think' that their spouse cannot give them what they want or what they think they need, they try to see if they can get it anywhere else. Suddenly, there might be someone out there who is ready and has the capability to give them what they want. They go for that person but try to maintain their relationship with this person. Something happens along the way, their spouse discovers and that's the end of it. 

We can go on to list different reasons why people cheat but none of these reasons make it right to engage in such act. Some people say that they never intended to cheat on their spouse but that it just happened. As much as I can agree that there was no intention, nothing just happens. You noticed when you were gradually drawing away from your spouse and moving closer to someone else. 

One vital thing that everyone needs is to be self-disciplined and to exercise self-control. It is the lack of these two things that make people cheat on their spouses. You went into that relationship or marriage being sure that you wanted to be with this person so what happened? People will always change but does that mean you should change girl friends and wives as they change? Or does it mean you should change boy friends and men as they change? No! Talk about these changes with your spouse and see how things can be better between you. The solution is never to go to someone else. When that new person changes, you will also try to move to another person and it keeps going on like that.

It is very possible to stay faithful to one man or one woman but you have to be self-disciplined and exercise self-control. The undeniable truth is that there would always be one lady or guy, woman or man who is finer, more hardworking, more romantic, more fit, more intellectual than your spouse. However, this is not a reason to cheat on him or her. Everyone in a relationship owes his or her partner every level of faithfulness. Distractions and temptations will come but remember you owe a duty of faithfulness. Everyone has the tendency to cheat because everyone has the tendency to appreciate change or something better but you know why some will not cheat? Because they have decided that no matter what happens or who they see, they will keep their focus on just one person. You can also be faithful to your spouse by choosing to stay focused and not get distracted by any other person. 

Take steps to ensure that you stay with this one person. Nobody deserves to be cheated on. Cheating is not the right thing to do and it never will be. When asked why, some say "being faithful to one girl is boring" What??? Are you being serious right Now? Some others say "I am not married yet so let me enjoy the different babes. When I am married, I won't cheat" . Sorry, say what? That is the greatest lie you can tell yourself. Whatever you do now, you will most likely do when you are married so the sooner you stopped, the better for you.

NB: The moment you begin to spend more time or share your life with someone that is not your spouse, the more far away you are from your spouse. The moment this happens, your attention becomes divided, you begin to get dissatisfied with everything he or she does and you begin to make unnecessary comparisons. It takes a conscious effort and the grace of God to stay faithful to that one man or woman and trust me, you can do it.

Thanks for stopping by, have a lovely and blessed week. 

OneLove,

SomzyBrown.