The act of Folarin scolding and shouting at me did not happen once or twice. I really wanted to know what was going on with him because I cared about him so much. I mean this was someone I had spent a good part of my life loving so I definitely was concerned about him, and us (i.e. our relationship). All I wanted to know was where we were headed in our relationship but then it seemed like that was the worst question to ask. Although I was scared that he was going to leave me, at this time, I really cared about his own problems and just wanted to be sure that he was fine.
Unknown to me at the time, he was going through a lot and so my question apparently made things worse for him. I guess he did not mean to be harsh to me because I had known him for too long and he had never spoken to me in such manner. I know it is said that people change but this change was a drastic one and so I concluded that it was an error and not really his intention. I kept trying to reach out to my ‘lover-boy-Folarin’.
Surprisingly, Folarin did not want to pick up my calls or respond to my texts. He refused to talk to me for days and I sincerely felt he was just acting up. This continued and even got worse. He did not ask us to break up or anything, he just refused to speak to me, reply my messages and so on. It appeared to be a joke at first and my thought was that he was just being childish. This went on for weeks, months and I tried and tried but nothing good seemed to be coming forth.
One day, I decided to pay Folarin a visit in his house. He had told me not to come to their house without prior notice and I perfectly understood. Personally I do not like people coming to my house without having first informed me. I always like to be aware of who is coming to see me and when. More so, I live with my parents so prior knowledge of visitors is key. This made it easy for me to understand Folarin on this matter. However, this time around, I had no choice but to go unannounced. He was not picking my calls or replying my messages so there was practically no way to inform him of my intended visit. I also needed to know what exactly was going on with us so I took the risk.
I got to his house and thank God, he was around. I did not realise how much I had missed him until I saw his face. “Folarin, what’s been happening? Why are you treating me like this? What have I done wrong? What have I done to deserve this?”. Silence was the only answer I got from Folarin and this broke my heart the more. The moment I tried to know why he was not saying anything, he asked me to leave and when I did not, he threw me out of his house.
Do people just suddenly change? How do you spend a long time professing love to someone and at the slightest trouble become really hostile to the person you claimed to love? I had a lot of questions but the answers were certainly not going to come from Folarin.
To cut the long story short. It has been 2 years since this happened and I still do not understand how we went from 100% to 0% within the twinkling of an eye. I do not hate Folarin but I was definitely angry at him and very much bitter towards him because he could at least have said something. Although it took a while to forgive him, I finally gathered the courage and strength to forgive him. It’s been very hard moving on but one thing I can boldly tell you is that I am finally getting there.
I learnt a lot during the period that Folarin’s misbehavior started. I was bitter and hurt but I learnt not to hate him. Every time the temptation or opportunity came for me to speak badly about Folarin, I (though very difficult) refrained from it.
Thank you so much for stopping by.
Please kindly look forward to next week because we need to address a particular issue that is highly important.
OneLove,
SomzyBrown
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