At first it was Tunde, I really could not resist the attention I got from him. He was so calm and handsome and I was really shocked that he would walk up to someone like me to have a conversation. "Why was I still looking down on myself though?" I really could not answer this question. I just enjoyed the attention and I was soon going back to where I was coming from. We got talking and yes, I gave him my number. Please do not be quick to judge my actions. I really desired to be different and I worked hard at it but then it just did not seem to be happening.
Can I just say here that transforming yourself and changing your mentality about something does not come easy. It takes you making a conscious effort to keep up with the new you. You will make mistakes and fall while trying to bring about a change but you have to keep pushing until you get to that desired place. I knew when I was going back to the old me! I knew when I was allowing the existence of non-facial beauty affect me but then I allowed it! I let myself be deceived again and again. It was a hard time for me and although I fell, I had many people who were there to encourage me and so I decided not to give up.
I began to push hard again, I really needed to get this self-worth, in fact I had to. I needed to realise that not every attention I got I was a blessing. I needed to learn that I need not be with every guy that shows an interest in me. To be honest while some interests by guys might be genuine, others are not. I was still on this quest and because of this a lot had happened to me. Sincerely speaking, I experienced the good, bad and ugly. I have felt love but also been seriously beaten; I have been cared for but also jilted; I have been approached but also rejected…
I have my regrets allowing just anyone get into my space just because I wanted to find the right person and now despite being with over an uncountable number of guys, I have realized that ‘you do not find the right person by jumping from one relationship to another'. You also do not find the right guy by reducing your standard because you feel you are at a disadvantage. I thought I was at a great disadvantage because I was not facially beautiful, little did I know that there was more to beauty than the facial beauty. The sincere but painful truth is that - it is not every guy that looks cute that is for you. Not every guy that appears to be cool headed is for you. I say ‘appears’ because some people only look cool but are not cool in the real sense of it.
I am definitely a walk in progress. I am not yet where I want to be but I am working really hard to get there. A lot has changed about me and I am gradually getting over this whole feeling of not being beautiful. I have made mistakes due to the wrong mentality that I had but I am moving past my mistakes. I have come to realize that there is no crime in making mistakes but the greatest crime is in failing to learn from those mistakes. It has been a long journey but I am definitely making good progress. I am a better me (I know that).
Thank you so much for stopping by to read this post. I hope you have learnt a thing or two from this story. And for those who have asked me or wondered, it is not my personal story.
We hope to see you here again. Have a blessed week.
SomzyBrown
Nice one. These are truths every lady should know before going into any relationship. God bless your heart. Keep it up sis. More grace
ReplyDeleteWhao! God help us dear. Thank you so much for stopping by and the encouragement is received with thanks. God bless you real good.
DeleteHmmmm... deep. In most cases what we really want is not what we need. We end up with the wrong person simply cos of what we think suits us.
ReplyDeleteVery true Daddy. I pray we are all able to know that there is really a difference between what we think suits us and what is right for us. Thank you so much for your support, really grateful daddy.
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