I'm sure you're wondering what this is about but not to worry, there's nothing to be scared about. We are beginning the discussion on the different 5 love languages developed by Gary Chapman and which we introduced last week.
As we established last week, different people have different love languages and even though some people may like the 5, they certainly have priorities or preferences. What this means is that they would prefer that you show them love in some way(s) better than in other ways.
Today we are taking the first love language (please note that the order of preference was chosen by me so don't be surprised if when reading the book, you realize that I mixed them up). From the title of today's episode, I am almost certain that you can guess our first love language. However, if you can't, it is...
PHYSICAL TOUCH.
How many of us would prefer our partners to touch us either in secret or in public than for them to get a gift, perform an act for you, say nice words to you, or spend time with you? If this is of major importance to you, it means that your primary love language is Physical Touch. But just in case you haven't taken part in the quiz, please do that NOW
This would help you have an idea of what your primary love language(s) is. Also if you've taken this quiz in the past, it might be good to take it again to help refresh your memory. Taking the test with your spouse or sharing the result with your spouse is highly adviceable because they need to know how best to love you.
Sex alone? No way! Physical touch doesn't have to do with sex alone, it involves hugs, cuddling, pecks, kisses etc. As little as holding hands in public might seem, this would mean a lot for a spouse whose primary love language is physical touch. Hugging and/or kissing your spouse before they go out could bring them home sooner than you expect and could make their hearts filled with thoughts of you through out the day. Playing with your spouse's hair, face, are also ways to express love if his/her primary love language is physical touch.
Physical touch is a powerful love communicator and Gary Chapman says when your spouse (whose primary love language is physical touch) goes through a crisis, nothing is more important than touching or holding as s/he cries or expresses sadness. During such time, s/he might not need you to say anything because your words at that time may mean little but s/he would expect that you touch or hold them and they will appreciate you for this. The author also says that "your tender touches will be remembered long after the crisis has passed but your failure to touch may never be forgotten".
Having discovered that your spouse's primary love language is physical touch, Gary Chapman gives the following recommendation:
1. Hold his/her hands as you walk to the mall or from the mall.
2. While eating together, let your knee or foot drift over and touch your spouse.
3. Tell your spouse how much you love them and gradually give them a hug or a peck. This does not have to lead to the bedroom. Smiles.
4. Initiate a shoulder massage while your spouse is seated. Continue this for about 5 minutes unless your spouse tells you to stop.
5. If you sit together in Church, hold hands while a prayer is being said.
6. Give your spouse a foot massage and continue to other parts of your spouse's body as long as it is pleasurable to your spouse.
7. Run the water in the Jacuzzi but if you don't have one, you can call for a bath and have one with your spouse.
8. While you drive, you can touch certain parts of your spouse's body.
9. Touch your spouse in the presence of visiting friends and relatives. It could be a hug, putting your arm around his/her shoulder. It just shows that despite the people around, you still see him/her.
10. When your spouse gets home, meet him or her at the door, outside, garage, street and give him/her a big hug.
Please note that a person's primary love language could change due to the different seasons in a person's life. You cannot rely on what you knew 2, 5, 10, 20 years ago. Update yourself and your spouse on your primary love language.
I like the illustration in the picture below:
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