"Ope, I am not begging you to remain with me if you've made up your mind not to. I just want to live my life with a clear conscience. Have I wronged you? Can you at least talk to me? What's going on with you? Please talk to me?".
"Temi, you haven't done anything wrong. I just don't think I am capable of being a good boyfriend to you. I have a lot going on and I don't want to bring you into all of my mess."
"Your mess? I don't understand! What mess? What's going on? You really need to speak to me. I have stayed with you this long and right now you think whatever you are going through is sufficient to make me leave you?"
"Don't worry about it Temiloluwa. I will be alright.
This conversation did not go as Temi thought it would. She could not believe her ears and she was tired of pushing him to talk. To her this was an indirect way of Ope saying 'my heart has left you'. This was really sad for her. She had given her all to him and made a lot of sacrifices for him. Is this what she deserves? Well, at different times she wanted to have another chat with Ope but she knew the outcome would be the same. So one day, after crying and thinking it through, she sent a message to him:
"Thanks for being my boyfriend. I guess this is the time where I say goodbye and I wish you all the best."
That was it for Temi and Ope. Ope knew he did not want the relationship anymore but he could not say it to Temi. Rather, he stopped talking to her and changed his behaviour towards her without saying what she had done wrong. But why couldn't he tell her that he was tired of the relationship and just break up with her?
This happens a lot of times and it leaves ladies wondering why men can not MAN UP to say that they are really done when they are. Indirectly saying it with their actions frustrates ladies because they really cannot place what they might have done wrong or what the issue is.
This issue has come up a few times and I had to speak to some guys about it. One of the guys said "As guys, we have the feeling that ladies like to have bragging rights that they were the ones who broke up and so we try to give them that privilege." Another guy said "when a man notices something that he is not comfortable with about his girlfriend, he tends to withdraw. He refuses to say anything about it because he does not want to hurt her."
It is sad that some people in a bid not to hurt their girlfriends, keep shut and allow the girl give up. This particular act hurts the lady more than having to break up with her. There has to be a better way to handle this guys. While you shouldn't hurt her with your words, you shouldn't also leave her hanging cos she deserves much more.
Thank you so much for stopping by. We appreciate your constant support.
OneLove
SomzyBrown
Hmmmmm... I just think that we need to get to a point of clearly understanding who's not meant for us, I mean, who doesn't actually deserve us.
ReplyDeleteOnce a partner fiance/fiancee/boyfriend/girlfriend starts behaving funny, and you try all means to make them talk, but they keep acting up, I just feel you should let them be. They might not really be sure of the love they once proclaimed to you. Guys could be vert terrible with this act, once they're done, they're done.
Although,it's hard and emotionally exhausting yo move on, but with time, you'd be grateful you left them, for good and for a better person.
Thanks for the beautiful piece Ife, God will continue to enlarge your coast and increase you in wisdom.
Amen. Thank you so much for stopping by and dropping this great thoughts of yours.
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