The Simple Act That Makes a Big Difference

Someone I call my big brother directed a movie, in fact owns the movie “COUPLE OF DAYS”. I finally got to watch it a few months ago and there is so much to learn from it. He is not paying me to do this, in fact he does not know that I am doing this but if you have not seen that movie, I will strongly advice that you do. I would share some of the things I learnt here but please try to watch this movie whenever you can.

Marriages and relationships will have a lot of issues and challenges. In fact, ‘impossible’ is the word for trying or attempting to take them away. However the way such issues are handled is what really matters. Some people are really childish in the way they handle issues but this is not a wise thing to do. The fact that a person or your partner does something very disgusting does not imply that you should never talk to him or her again. Things get worse when you act in this manner and if your intention is not to talk to him/ her for two (2) days, it could increase if your partner is also like you.

If a relationship or marriage means a lot to you as an individual, you will handle it with care and not just allow anything take it away from you. People give many reasons to prove that their partner deserves no form of forgiveness but really is there anyone that does not deserve forgiveness? God always forgives us when we fall and He expects us to do the same thing. He expects us to forgive our partners when they do a wrong act or behave in an unexpected manner.

Forgiving your partner does not imply you being in support of what he or she said, did or engaged in. It means deciding to understand that he or she has made a mistake and moving on from that mistake or error committed by your partner. In order for forgiveness to be effective, both parties have to be willing to let go of a lot things. Forgiveness is a conscious effort, it will not just jump at you - it is also a gradual process, if you begin by forgiving your spouse when she commits a 'small' wrong, when there is a seemingly 'big' wrong, you will be able to forgive.

How much can you overlook? The problem many of us have is that we cannot tolerate anything. When she makes the slightest mistake, you scream at her; when he fails to do something, you decide to keep malice. I am a strong believer in speaking out your mind whenever you are offended but sometimes you just need to chill. You need to analyse things and sometimes you just need to overlook that mistake.

Practice makes perfect and so you need to practice forgiveness. Although this is in relation to relationship and marriages, it is applicable to everyone (whether you’re in a relationship with them or not). Forgiveness is deserved by everyone around you and everyone in the world so start practicing this with those that offend you at work, at the market place, on the road etc.

When you fail to forgive, you build up strife and strife is not good for anyone.

The people who appear to be having a lovely relationship or marriage are not people with little or no issues, rather they are people who have decided to forgive each other (regardless of how great or small the offence is) and have decided to move on.

You have to be ready and willing to forgive and let go of whatever wrong that your spouse does to you. Would it be painful? Yes of course. Him cheating on you; she failing to tell you about her past; you bearing a lot... yes you might have done so much but forgiveness is a big sacrifice that you have to make in a marriage or relationship. It is a continous task. I remember a Pastor once saying that "the moment he got into his marriage with his wife, they made a decision to never go to bed without settling any disagreement or issue that they have".

This might be harsh but it is the truth - if you have not learnt how to or worked on the act of forgiving, you are not ready for relationship/marriage. In this season of love, let us remember this "you have not succeeded at loving if you do not know how to forgive". Quote by me.

Thanks for stopping by.

OneLove,

SomzyBrown