HOW DID I GET HERE???

I AM TIRED!!!

I AM FED UP!!!

I used to be a very happy person. I enjoyed being with my friends and loved ones and everyone always referred to me as "the life of the party". I was always willing to be there for people and I could literally sacrifice anything for anyone. I was full of life and many good things.

But guess what?

I am no longer that person and I know it. Few friends have been bold enough to tell me that I have changed and that something definitely isn't right with me. I know this but I have chosen to ignore. I am not exactly sure how I got here but I really miss me. I miss the happy, joyful, sweet, pleasant and lovely me. I have tried to think back as to what went wrong but I've not really been able to lay my hand on it. 

Oh yes, maybe I remember...

Being the friendly person that I am, I gave my all to people I did not know (I.e. strangers) so you can imagine how I treated those I loved. I loved Jennifer so much but for one reason or the other, things did not work out. I was hurt and broken but later on figured that it was part of life and moved on. A few months after this, I met Mary. 

Mary was so perfect. She was the absolute best and everyone close to me confirmed this. She was indeed an answer to prayers. We had so many things in common and I was so grateful to God for bringing her my way. Mary was an answer to my deep felt prayers. 

We had dated for about a year when Mary fell ill. She fell seriously ill that I got really scared. We went to the hospital and kept being transferred from one hospital to another. We knew this was not normal so we prayed against it and kept confessing her healing.

To be continued...