HOW DID I GET HERE??? 2

Glory to God, Mary got better. She got back to herself and I was really excited. We had talked about getting married and had told family members about it but we had to take things slowly when she fell ill. Now that she was better, I decided that it was time to go ahead with our marriage plans.

Plans kicked off in full gear a few months later and it was exciting to plan our wedding together. We were full of joy, so full of joy that everyone around us could tell that we were meant to be a couple. We picked a date and looked forward to this date. A day before this date that we picked, Mary fell seriously ill again. She was in so much pain that she could barely speak. She had to be hospitalised and I took days off work to be with her. 

I stayed with her for a few weeks and on the day that we hoped she was going to be discharged, it appeared things got worse and the only words she could mutter was "I am sorry! I am sorry!..." and she closed her eyes and slept off.

"What was Mary sorry about? Why was she apologising to me? Was there something she knew that I didn't know of? Had she decided to be with someone else after all we had been through and even plans to get married?" These were some of the thoughts running through my head. I wanted to wake her up but then I remembered the Doctor had told me that she needed a lot of rest. As a result of the pain she was going through, Mary had not been sleeping well and so I allowed her sleep anytime it came freely and without pills. 

This time was different,  I wanted to wake her up to enable her explain why she was apologizing to me. Mary was perfect in my eyes and even if she had done anything wrong, I was going to forgive her. I really desired to spend my whole life with her. I stayed in the room with her head on my hand and I also slept off. "We need to examine her..." said the Doctor and that was when I realized that I had slept off. 

I left the ward and allowed the medical professions perform their duty. I waited for some hours to be informed to go back inside. When it was taking too long, I decided to go inquire on what was going on.

To be continued...

Thanks a lot for stopping by. Hope to see you soon. God bless you.

OneLove, 

SomzyBrown 

HOW DID I GET HERE???

I AM TIRED!!!

I AM FED UP!!!

I used to be a very happy person. I enjoyed being with my friends and loved ones and everyone always referred to me as "the life of the party". I was always willing to be there for people and I could literally sacrifice anything for anyone. I was full of life and many good things.

But guess what?

I am no longer that person and I know it. Few friends have been bold enough to tell me that I have changed and that something definitely isn't right with me. I know this but I have chosen to ignore. I am not exactly sure how I got here but I really miss me. I miss the happy, joyful, sweet, pleasant and lovely me. I have tried to think back as to what went wrong but I've not really been able to lay my hand on it. 

Oh yes, maybe I remember...

Being the friendly person that I am, I gave my all to people I did not know (I.e. strangers) so you can imagine how I treated those I loved. I loved Jennifer so much but for one reason or the other, things did not work out. I was hurt and broken but later on figured that it was part of life and moved on. A few months after this, I met Mary. 

Mary was so perfect. She was the absolute best and everyone close to me confirmed this. She was indeed an answer to prayers. We had so many things in common and I was so grateful to God for bringing her my way. Mary was an answer to my deep felt prayers. 

We had dated for about a year when Mary fell ill. She fell seriously ill that I got really scared. We went to the hospital and kept being transferred from one hospital to another. We knew this was not normal so we prayed against it and kept confessing her healing.

To be continued...

 

PREVENT IT BEFORE IT BECOMES TOO LATE.

Genotype discussion is a serious one and it should not be taken for granted. It is quite sad that as important as this topic is, many people shy away from it or even underate it. Growing up, my dad gave my siblings and I strict warnings about this. He knew the implications both from personal experience and those of others. 

A lot of people have waited till a time when it was too late to ask about genotype and guess what? The response they got led to premium tears. It had become too late because they had invested so much in the relationship and it was extremely difficult to let go of the guy or the lady. Some as a result of the feelings and emotions already invested, decided to go on with the relationship/wedding because they could not afford to start afresh. 

Some people with AC/AS genotype have gotten married to people with same genotype and have been lucky not to have children with SS or SC but we can't rely on luck cos some children are in serious crisis because of this same decision by their parents. If it can be avoided, if you can prevent a child from wailing and being filled with regret on being brought to this to suffer based on a decision you made which could have been avoided, then please take this issue seriously. 

It's not easy to let go of someone you truly love just because of genotype but genotype incompatibility is a strong enough reason to let go. This is why I would suggest talking about this before you get too deep and start catching feelings. It is important for both parties to be aware of their genotypes and to figure out whether they can continue the friendship, start the relationship or stop right there.

Thanks for stopping by and I really hope you've learned a thing or two. God bless you and have a blessed week. 

OneLove,

SomzyBrown 

MY GENOTYPE IS NOT YOUR BUSINESS!

Bunmi and George met through a mutual friend and George was really interested in getting into a relationship with Bunmi. Before he was introduced to Bunmi, George was in a relationship with Michelle. He loved her so much and had plans to get married to her. However,  just before he made his marriage plans known to Michelle, he figured out that she had a genotype that was incompatible with his. 

This discovery was so painful that he could not get over it for more than a year. It affected him terribly and so he vowed that such would never occur again. Based on George's past experience (Michelle), He did not want to get emotionally attached to Bunmi before discovering whether they were compatible genotype wise and so he brought up the question during one of their discussions.

Bunmi got really upset about this and George  could not understand why it was a big deal. "Would you rather we get into each other only to discover that we are not compatible genotype wise?" George asked. "Well no, but I just don't think it is the right time to ask..." replied Bunmi.

"I am sorry Bunmi but I don't intend to waste your time and the sooner I am sure that genotype would not be a hindrance to us getting married,  the better for me..." Said George

Many people have expressed different concerns about the issue of Genotype. While some think it is not an issue to be discussed immediately you meet someone, others think it is better to get that sorted right away before you 'catch' feelings (I.e. get emotionally attached) and realise that you cannot be with the person you really want to be with.

What's your idea or opinion on genotype? Is it a question that should be asked before you start a relationship at all? Is it too sensitive an issue and as such a no go area? Should people wait till a certain time in their relationship before they talk about it or trash it right at the beginning? 

Please we will appreciate your thoughts and comments on this.

Thank you so much for stopping by.  God bless you. Have a fantastic week.

OneLove,

SomzyBrown 

SUGAR MUMMY/DADDY VIBES.

"No! No! No! Please don't tell me that you intend to get into a relationship with that man. Please don't say that I beg you!" Said Tricia

"I've always known you to be smart so yes that's what I intend to do. Do you have a problem with that Tricia?" Stephanie responded angrily.

"Of course I have a problem with that Stephanie. Why on earth would you decide to get involved with a married man? There are still good single men out there so why must it be someone that is married? Please leave someone's husband alone!"

"Miss Adviser, thank you very much for the advice but I'm sorry, this advice cannot fly. I have made up my mind and I will do just what I want to do. Maybe you can ask the single men that are available why they are not coming around because I cannot keep waiting. I've waited for too long and I'm done. Even the ones that are available are not mature so what are we then saying?

"I know waiting could be hard, tiring and difficult but Stephanie, I do not think that the solution to this is being with a married man. Morals aside, what if his wife finds out? Also if marriage is the desired place, are you saying that you will get married to him? How will you feel if you were married and someone did this to you?

"I haven't said that Tricia but all I know is that I love this man and I'm not going to allow you or his wife take him away from me."

...

A lot has been said about this topic and to be honest, it is a painful thing to go through. Some people (ladies and men) do not think there's anyhing wrong in getting into a relationship with a married person. I'm not here to sugarcoat anything - IT IS WRONG! 

There is a reason why they are married and it is not in your place to destroy anyone's marriage even if they appear to be having a rough time. You will get married some day and I'm sure you won't be happy to hear that someone is messing around with your spouse. 

If he or she is married, please leave him or her alone. Although it could be tempting, there's no tenable reason to get into a relationship with a married person. Even if they promise the whole world to you, please do not yield to this temptation.

Furthermore, I always advice that if you have a friend of the opposite sex that is married, you need to give him or her some space. If you feel you missed out on such person, I'm sorry about that but you cannot change the fact that they are married. If you want to remain close friends with such person, wisdom is profitable to direct. One wise thing that you can do is to get close to the spouse. However, no matter what, do not be the reason for a marriage to break-up.

Married men and women please also leave the single guys and ladies alone. Stay faithful to your spouse, please and please.

Thank you so much for stopping by and I hope to see you again next week.

OneLove,

SomzyBrown.

I WILL NEVER DOUBT 'ME' AGAIN!

 I was beginning to lose myself because I felt unworthy. Every where I turned, every thing I did, every word I said - none seemed to make sense or be appreciated. Each time I tried my best, I heard echoes of whispers telling me how bad and terrible I was. This made me doubt myself. 

 This made me question the little good I thought existed in me. I questioned the compliments i had ever received because I got contradicting words from the ones I really thought or expected to be on my side. All of these almost led to depression. I began to lose myself and lose my confidence. I began to see myself as less than i really am. I allowed discouraging words from people (who were probably envious of me) defeat me. I stayed in this down position for a while.

Until one day, I heard a voice that spoke words to me - these words countered all the negative words I had heard or accepted. I suddenly realised what I had done to myself - I could have countered these words with the right words. I knew I wasn't all that people had made me feel I was but I lacked the courage to counter these words. 

After hearing this voice, I Began to say nice and wonderful things to myself. I soon realised that it wasn't all about what people had said or not said about me but what I knew about myself. There's room for improvement. Oh, yes there is! and this applies to everyone because no one is perfect. But while I'm working on and improving myself, I am also going to love myself and be comfortable not just in my skin and personality but in who I am. 

I will love me because only when I have succeeded at this will I be able to love someone else. I'm not going to lose myself because of the words I have heard, especially terrible ones that put me in a place of doubt about myself and who I am in the real sense of it. 

People will always have opinions but I need to be careful not to allow these things affect me or make me change or even get me depressed. Enough is enough! I will take note of the areas that need improvement in my life and work on them but never again will I put myself in a position of depression. Never again will I allow people's words weigh me down! Never again will I feel like I am not enough!

I know who I am and I won't doubt it anymore.

Anonymous  

I hope you were encouraged! Life throws a lot at us but we have to stand strong cos if we don't, we lose ourselves. Loving you is important so please work on it! Never doubt yourself!

Thanks for stopping by.

OneLove,

SomzyBrown 

HOW CAN WE MAKE IT WORK??

Last week, we began an interesting topic on long distance relationships and we shall dive right into it today. Although I have been in a long distance relationship before, I wouldn't say that I am an expert at this. I have worked on a few tips that I believe might help people in long distance relationships but I am pretty sure there are more. Please note that this is something I have written on before but based on popular demand,  I had to bring it up again. 

1. Organize dates - This could be movie dates or any kind of date. Decide to see a movie together or the same movie at different times and then talk about how you felt while watching it or discuss your learning points. You can also send clips of the parts you enjoyed the most as this would give you both something interesting to talk about.

2. Hobbies: Discover each other's hobbies and encourage yourselves to do something about it. For example, if you partner loves to shop, you can encourage him/her to go shopping and talk to you about it. If you have the means, you can send some money or deliver a gift to him/her, encouraging them to carry out this hobby of theirs. You can also ask questions surrounding your partner's hobby. "How did basketball go today? Who won? How do you feel about the game" When is the next game" etc.

3. Communication: This is key in every relationship and the importance cannot be over emphasised. Please talk about anything and everything, from the beginning of your day to the end. Many times, ladies talk more than the guys but guys please you also need to share your experiences. Apart from talking, also learn to listen to your partner (don't always provide a solution just let him/her know that you are there and that you care). 

Also please engage in a lot of video calls so you can see each other, notice your reactions etc.,  this is the closest to being physically together though it can not be the same. Chat on Whatsapp and different social media platforms but do more of calls and voice notes, it could make you feel closer to each other.

If its within your power, plan surprise visits. You'll be amazed at how this can change a lot about your relationship. 

4. Settle Differences: In any relationship, keeping malice affects the relationship negatively and so this is something that we must avoid at all costs even if you have to be the one to play the fool sometimes. This is more important in a long distance relationship especially if you can't see your partner or might not see him or her in a while. The moment you allow issues linger for too long, you build a gap that might be difficult to mend. So as quickly as possible, settle your differences and focus on being better people. 

5. Constantly Celebrate Each other: Whether or not you're a social media person, you will need to do this as often as possible. Put his/her picture on social media - WhatsApp status, Instagram etc. this would make them know and feel loved and appreciated. Everyone loves to be celebrated so let your partner know that you're rooting for them at all times and also do this publicly.

6. Stay Committed: You can have friends of the opposite sex but ensure that there are clear boundaries between you. Be open to your partner about these friends and leave no room for doubt or suspicion. Try as much as possible not to hide anything from your partner because some day and in a way that you wouldn't like it, he or she might find out. Honesty is key in making your relationship work so please be open and committed. 

We'll stop here for now. I know there are many experienced long distance relationship people here, so please if you have further tips to share with us, please do. After reviewing it, we will be glad to share it on the blog.

Thanks a lot for stopping by and we hope to see you soon. God bless you and have a blessed week.

OneLove,

SomzyBrown